The Riverdale Register: A RIVERDALE RECAP

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin talk about that surprising Black Hood reveal, what job Veronica will have at Hiramland, and what could be next for the gang following a ho-ho-horrific Christmas.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin analyze Betty's rendition of "Mad World," the possible origins of the Black Hood, and whatever the heck is happening with Cheryl. ***WARNING! Spoiler alert for the ending of MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS.***

Welcome back River Vixens! John and Kaitlin are joined by Two Of A Kind's Krystal to discuss the Riverdale Reaper, Kevin's DILFy dad, and whatever the hell has gotten into Cheryl this week.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John schools Kaitlin in stunt cars, Toni is more into girls, and the Sugarman flatlines.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin discuss Jughead's version of pledge week, Veronica's worst New York City friend, and whether we're here for Tonihead. (We aren't.)

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, a very sleepy John and a very awake Kaitlin talk Black Hood theories, that EPIC rain scene, and why Fred Andrews will always be our #1 TV dad.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, Kaitlin and John realize that they were waaaay too presumptuous about the Black Hood's shooting skillz, clap for joy at a great Kevin plot, and theorize about the future of Archie's weird, shirtless cult.

This week on THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and a feverish Kaitlin discuss why everyone won't just let Pop's Diner live, how Hermione Lodge took a 180, and how uncomfortable we felt when those milkshakes brought all the boys to the yard.

Annnnnd we're back! John and Kaitlin return to Riverdale with many questions. Who shot Fred? Why did Veronica wear pearls during her steamy shower scene? Did Jughead always know how to ride a motorcycle?

John and Kaitlin close out season 1 of RIVERDALE with many questions: Is Fred dead? Are Betty and Jughead doomed? And, finally: Will Archie go full dark, no stars, and stop being the sexy lamp we've come to love?

On this bonus episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin sit down with friend-of-the-show Stephen to recap the season so far! It's all about the 'ships, baby.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin discuss the ~Big Reveal~ that is the identity of Jason's murderer, why Joaquin is the best, and how the gun DEFINITELY WASN'T IN THE TRAILER. (Got that, kids?)

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin talk the FP of it all, why John is totally onboard for Kaitlin's theories now (why, yes, Kaitlin DOES write these blurbs), and which ships we are actively shipping.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin discuss Jughead being garbage, why Kevin totally killed Jason (in Kaitlin's head, at least), and the worst party game of all time that's not even really a game!

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin finally get onboard with Alice Cooper, consider whether Veronica has successfully achieved #JusticeForBarb, and realize the extent of Archie's sexy lamp identity.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin discuss the delightful drama surrounding Polly's baby shower. Archie gets mad, Alice gets madder, and Veronica can't stop, won't stop name-dropping. John is convinced there's something buried beneath the drive-in, and Kaitlin is 250% positive that Kevin is the killer based on total lack of evidence.

On this very special episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin sit down with Amy Parks, assistant editor on RIVERDALE, to chat about how our favorite mystery puzzle gets pieced together.

While Kaitlin takes a stay with the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, John is joined by Brad Taylor (host of The Bear Trap on SoundCloud) to ponder the great mystery of WHAT IS THAT SCAR ON K.J. APA'S FOREHEAD?!?

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin FINALLY HEAR ARCHIE SING (!!!!!), meet Josie's super mean dad, and meet the infamous, tragic character that is Polly Cooper.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin discuss Val and Archie's blossoming romance, Penelope Blossom's Mommy Dearest vibes, and that snake in the box.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin break down why Archie is a sexy lamp, Alice is the literal worst, and Billy Loomis remains a very bad boy.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin discuss Juggy's sleuthing, why Betty's mom might actually be a demon, and if the show really got #JusticeForEthel... or is it Barb? Also: Kaitlin is bad at music, but Archie might not be.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin talk Ms. Grundy's creeping, Archie's better hair, and why this is totally the Betty and Veronica show.

On this episode of THE RIVERDALE REGISTER, John and Kaitlin recap the pilot episode of The CW's highly-anticipated new teen soap. Tune in to hear them discuss a certain character's questionable dye job, why Veronica is the real MVP of the series (no offense, Arch) and the icky, icky twincest.