The Relationship-Smart podcast

We care for everyone else at our own expense. Have you ever felt let down by care? Like you don't quite get the care you need? Like there isn't enough to go around? and Like the whole self-care thing just puts more work on your plate? In this episode Claire and I explore: -her concept of "shame of care," how traditional care approaches can be damaging when they rely on authority-based methods whic...

There are attachment and relational impacts of loving humans on the spectrum In this episode I share: -my personal journey of living with and loving humans ont he spectrum -I explore the challenges and the flip side - the gifts that come from those challenges -I explore the benefits and positives of loving someone on the spectrum -I outline the best ways that I have found to accomodate and bring o...

In this episode I speak to Dr Zoe Vilenica, trauma specialist and somatic practice therapist. This episode comes with a trigger warning as we will be exploring complex trauma and childhood sexual trauma. I will be asking Zoe to help us understand how trauma shows up in relationships and how it gets healed. We explore: The difference between PTSD, complex trauma and childhood sexual trauma&nbs...

How Defensiveness Damages Intimacy (And What To Do Instead) Intent vs Impact in Relationships: Why Good Intentions Aren’t Enough Most partners are not trying to hurt each other. But here’s the truth: Good intent does not cancel out harmful impact. Join me as we unpack what is going on and how best to explain, unpack and move forward from this sticky place. Nicole Mathieson This podcast was created...

In this episode I speak to my colleague Dr Diane Harner, neuroscientist, counsellor and business coach. Together we explore how an understanding of neuroscience can inform us to get smarter in relationships particularly in terms of the stories we tell ourselves. We explore: -how attachment experiences in childhood shape adult relationships -how attunement and reciprocity as key factors in attachme...

Join me and my guest Heid Louise as we discuss her book The Love Blueprint. You can find out more about Heid here , and get a copy of her book here , or on audio here. Heidi is a Brisbane based Psychotherapist who works from a holistic and trauma informed framework.  She is an experienced and qualified Psychotherapist, an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker (AMHSW), a Lvl 3 Gottman Couples...

Join my guest Helen Sheehy and I as we explore neurodiversity in the realm of relationships You can find Helen at neurodivergence.live here and you buy her book Moving Forwards, Working Backwards here too. In this episode we explore: What a strengths based approach to Neurodivergence is Why Helen has changed the abbreviations from ADHD and ASD Why being diagnosed can be beneficial - I share my per...

Two people can go through the  same event  and walk away with  different stories  about what happened. That’s right —  same event, different story.  And those different interpretations can quietly shape how we feel about each other, how safe we feel in our relationships, and even how much love we’re able to express. In this episode I talk about where we go wrong and w...

How are you in conflict? I hear so many clients ask me how to stop being so intense in their moments of conflict and I always answer that it is a great question, but also it is the wrong question in a way. I think we need to zoom out. Listen in as I take you through my ideas for how to do this. Sign up to my live workshop on June 8th - Keeping your cool, how to naviage conflict with grace. About N...

The Patriarchy does not serve any of us and it most definitely has it's gnarly tendrils in our homes and our relationship dynamics. The way that women respond to the patriarchal influences in our relationships is often quite bitchy. In this episode, I talk about what I mean by the Patriarchy, what I mean by bitchy behaviour and I invite you to my new monthly catch up for 2025 - Bitch Club. To join...

In this episode I explore a bunch of pressures on female libido that I see over an over and yet are not commonly thought of as desire stoppers. I am hoping that this episode feels hopeful and gives you lots of options for healing and exploration where you otherwise may have been feeling stuck. This episode does come with the trigger warning of the mention of sexual trauma. Listen to the end for my...

Solutions are good right? I am just trying to help. Yes, but we actually find it really frustrating when we are sharing an issue and our partner jumps straight to solutions. Why is that? What is going on here? And what do we want and need instead? Listen to this episode as we explore what is going on with not always loving solutions. About Nicole Nicole Mathieson is a couple therapist and relation...

In this episode, I talk to my beautiful, soulful friend Kris Franken. So many people ask me how they can find themselves, be true to themselves and still be in relationship. It can be tricky to navigate. We fear that if we change and become more true to ourselves that we will lose our partner. We fear that authenticity and integrity means loss of connection. Well, today I called in Kris to talk to...

Does your partner have sex tantrums? How does it make you feel? How do they feel? What is going on and how do you get out of the downward spiral of need, guilt, obligation, and then less desire? Listen in as we unpack this very common dynamic, try not to generalise too much, and as I give you a few pointers to get back to sex without the guilt, anxiety and pressure. For more exploration on sex tan...

Intimacy (and I am not talking about sex), in my opinion is one of the hardest things in the whole world, but also, something that gives us the deepest most heart fulfilling satisfaction. Gah, what a dilemma! It would be so much easier if we could just get all operational and robotic and not have to have those hard conversations, get vulnerable and honest with ourselves and then share it with anot...

Hello ,it's me Nicole Mathieson  and I would like to introduce you to my brand new podcast;  The Beauty Load, How to feel good enough in your body. This podcast is inspired by my book also called the Beauty Load in which I explore this exhausting pressure, anxiety and insecurity that many if not all women feel in regards to the way they look. In this podcast, I aim to explore how the Bea...

In this episode we talk to Slow Living coach Rachelle Glendon about the benefits of concsiously slowing down on all of our relationships. In this chat we talk about; * implementing some matriachal ways, which sound so good * tips for slowing down * how slow living challenges your own unhealthy beliefs and invites healing * how slow living moves you from resentment and passive aggressive communicat...

Why is a relationship coach / therapist writing a book about body image I hear you ask? That's because the Beauty Load, body image, how we feel about ourselves and our confidence with fitting in in the world, are all relationship issues. I don't know about you but my body was front and centre as I stepped into relationship and sexual intimacy as a young adult. Listen in as I share how my book The...

Sometimes we feel wrong for feeling the Beauty Load, especially when our males partner's or friends just don't get it. But the stress and concern of the Beauty Load is real and in this episode I share an example that demonstrates how differently the Load is experienced, generally speaking, by women and men. Buy the book The Beauty Load www.nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload follow me on instagram @...

In this special Beauty Load episode of the podcast, I am reading the first chapter (the introduction) of my new book The Beauty Load, how to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty.  The message of my book is basically that you feeling not "enough" about your looks is not personal, it is not about you and your looks but instead it is inevitable if you have grown up in a culture with such toxic...

There is a lot going on in the world at the moment that can leave us feeling a bit or a lot traumatised. I am inspired to share this "what not to do" episode, because of what I see happening around me, and that is people who have been through a lot, not allowing themselves the space and nurture they need, because there are others struggling more than them. We compare and we think "I should not be...

If there is one thing the Beauty Load pressure leaves us women with, it is a sense of shame. We are shamed on so many fronts on all aspects of our body and appearance. In this episode I explore the shame, grandiosity loop and how we can get out of it to create a new culture, at least for ourselves. The Beauty Load book out April 2022 Instagram: @nicole.mathieson Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/priv...

There are a lot of books out there about loving our body and the issues that come with it, so why have I written another book about it? In this episode I share with you my motivations for writing this book: -from my own struggles with feeling enough -to the impact the Beauty Load has on my clients and friends -seeing women in Cuba who didn't seem to be struggling in the same way -my fear for my ow...

How do you manage stress in your relationship? How does it feel when your partner is stressed? How do you respond? How do they respond to you? Stress can be a really disconnecting force in a relationship if it goes unmanaged. In this episode I share with you, how I dealt with my husband's stress really badly and how I repaired on that occassion. I also share with you why dealing with stress is so...

In this episode, I speak to Emily, who with her partner Sean, created Yum cards for couples. We talk about how these cards help couples reconnect and why reconnecting feels so darn yum! You can check out the cards here playyum.com For more go to nicolemathieson.com @nicole_mathieson_coach Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.