The Real Weird Sisters: The Archive

You-Know-Who’s mark has been cast in the sky… and yes, Harry, when we say You-Know-Who, we mean Voldemort. Alice and Martha question the emergency protocol at the Quidditch World Cup, assess Ron’s level of privilege, and share stories of the most important things they’ve ever lost. Plus, Martha speaks French!  Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler w...

?Even though this chapter is all about SPORTS, Alice and Martha do their best to address everything non-sports-related in the chapter. This includes but is not limited to: the population of wizards in the world, cheese metaphors, and the marginalization of house-elves in wizarding society. And if you’re not going to watch at normal speed, you’re going to miss things!  Please consider supporting us...

Alice and Martha discuss kilts, ponchos, and thigh-length galoshes; share their love of Archie the old wizard; and get confused talking about the number of Quidditch players in Great Britain.? Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series. Book club epis...

?Alice and Martha engage in lively discussion of sleep schedules, the various forms of transportation in the wizarding world, and the hotness level of Robert Pattinson as they discuss Chapter 6 of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire! Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take...

You may not have heard this episode before, but if you’re anything like Harry, you’ll know immediately what chapter we’re here to talk about. Listen to Alice and Martha analyze just how cool Bill Weasley is, debate Charlie’s dateability, and tie it all back to Breaking Bad and the Fudge books.? Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please b...

If you were thinking this chapter would actually take you back to the Burrow, you are sadly mistaken. But have no fear, because this episode will still attempt to answer your most burning questions, including: what do the Dursleys do with Harry’s room during the school year? What would Cornelius Fudge and Dudley’s ship name be? And, what does it sound like when one pulls an Aunt Petunia and chews...

This one is for all the swotty little nancy boys out there. Alice and Martha are back to criticize Harry’s friends’ ideas of good food, question the methods of refrigeration in the wizarding world, and imagine Harry as a contestant on What Not to Wear.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers fo...

?Alice and Martha are back to share stories of the weirdest dreams they’ve had, explain why Dumbledore is kind of a hipster, and attempt to come up with better pseudonyms for Buckbeak than “Witherwings.”  Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series. Bo...

Hi and welcome to the Frank Bryce Memorial Podcast, where your hosts bemoan the loss of one of the greatest men to ever walk the earth and honor his life with as much respect as possible. If you’ve come to hear about unexpected animals that produce milk, you’ve come to the right place. Also, learn why hot water bottles bum Alice out and listen to Martha attempt Voldemort's icy laugh! (You may want...

The Real Weird Sisters review the movie of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban with special guests Tim Ahlin (@shutuptim) and Haley Strong (@hstrong_).  Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com /realweirdsisters  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series. Book club episodes are released every Monday and s...

Alice and Martha have reached the end of Book 3 and are here to discuss all your burning questions! Why weren’t Fudge and Snape aware of Hermione’s Time Turner? What’s with Dumbledore’s obsession with being cryptic? And how on earth could one swallow a whole bottle of hot butterbeer in one gulp? Plus, Alice and Martha give out the third Chosen Moment for Harry.? Please consider supporting us on Pa...

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Kate Hildner (@khildner11) and the DesperHAT to sort the characters of Desperate Housewives into Hogwarts houses. Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both Desperate Housewives and the Harry Potter series. Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The secret is out… and no, it has nothing to do with Hogsmeade. Listen to Alice and Martha as they do their best to put themselves in Snape’s shoes, confuse themselves talking about time travel, and assess the root of Harry’s “saving people thing.” Warning: tears are shed. Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com /realweirdsisters  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show c...

"Expecto… expecto…" Alice and Martha are back to discuss six-legged races, Harry’s potential interest in Shark vs. T-Rex, and oddly memorable songs from piano lessons. And, shocker of all shockers, it’s still all Snape’s fault. Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com /realweirdsisters  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place l...

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Mike Bloom (@AMikeBloomType) and the Sorting Toque to sort the characters of Ratatouille into Hogwarts houses. Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both Ratatouille and the Harry Potter series. Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

At long last, Alice and Martha have reached the real meat of the book and couldn’t be more excited. Listen to the sisters discuss Snape’s implicit bias towards werewolves, compare the miserable post-James lives of each of the marauders, and delve deep into the question we’ve all wondered: what musical instrument would Wormtail have played had he been in band.? Please consider supporting us on Patr...

The Real Weird Sisters are back with a very special announcement and a very short chapter to discuss! Listen to Alice and Martha debate Harry’s intelligence, discuss the many bachelors and bachelorettes living in Hogsmeade, and wonder just why it took Lupin so long to realize that the rat was in fact, the rat.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com /realweirdsisters  Spoiler w...

Wriggle madly in your seats as you listen to Alice and Martha question Harry’s behavior towards Crookshanks, wonder about dental options in Azkaban, and do what they do best - relate it all back to Ratatouille and Hamilton. Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series. Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topic...

IT WILL HAPPEN TONIGHT. Find yourself a nice, quiet room (or a nice quiet room) to listen to Alice and Martha nitpick Hermione’s schedule, psychoanalyze Draco’s actions, and discuss aspects of Muggle society that are perhaps more advanced than wizard society. Plus, learn way more than you wanted to know about flobberworms and hear what is most definitely Martha’s worst impression to date. Spoiler...

The gang is back! Alice and Martha couldn’t be happier to be back on Team Ron at long last. Listen to the Real Weird Sisters compare Divination to yoga, argue about the degree of Crookshanks’s intelligence, and, of course, talk about sports! Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series. Book club episodes are released every Monday...

It’s time for another sneaky Hogsmeade getaway! In this episode, Alice and Martha go all in on their annoyance with Ron, question the harshness of Neville’s punishments, and find themselves surprised by their reactions to Snape.  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series. Book club episodes are released every Monday and special...

?Hello, and welcome to Alice and Martha’s Sports Hour, in which two big sports fans talk about sports! Today’s topic: Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw. Alice and Martha also discuss which minor Gryffindor quidditch players are their favorites, update the listeners on the status of Percy and Penny’s relationship, and dive pretty deep into Cho Chang’s psyche.  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show...

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Daron Asleson (@daronasleson) and the Sorting Umbrella to sort the characters of How I Met Your Mother into Hogwarts houses. Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both How I Met Your Mother and the Harry Potter series. Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday....

Expecto Patronum! Conjure up your happiest memory and listen to Alice and Martha critique Hagrid’s unusually good lesson, analyze the magic of dementors and boggarts, and get a bit, er, shirty, with each other.  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series. Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are...

It’s Christmastime at Hogwarts, and you know what that means - Harry, Ron, and Hermione get the castle to themselves and all the free time they could possibly need to conduct a bizarre research project in a poorly organized library. In this episode, Alice and Martha mourn the loss of the flobberworms, analyze Trelawney’s yuletide warning, and somehow connect it all back to Ratatouille. Plus, we ge...