The Real Weird Sisters: The Archive

Alice and Martha snuffle around as they recap The Dream, which rivals both sisters' strangest dream stories and somehow, they find a way to relate all this back to the Unabomber.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series. Book club episodes are rele...

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined once again by special guest Josh Wigler (@roundhoward) and the Sorting Crown to continue sorting the characters of Game of Thrones into Hogwarts houses. Listen to Part 1 here.  Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both the Game of Thrones and Harry Potter series. Please subscribe to our show! Book club episode...

This chapter art may not be Alice’s favorite, but the chapter makes up for it with opportunities for plenty of Dobby and Winky impressions, discussions of Ron’s problem with Hermione’s social activism, and the symbolism of Barty Crouch, Sr. Plus, Harry is super awkward with Krum and Snape trolls Harry pretty hard, so what’s not to like? Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/re...

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guests Shandy and Tim Ahlin (@ShutUpTim) to cast, draft, and role play a season of The Hunger Games featuring Harry Potter characters as contestants.  Be aware that the show may contain spoilers from both the Hunger Games series and the Harry Potter series. Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patr...

As the title suggests, this chapter features the return of Padfoot... er, Snuffles, that is. It also features highly questionable teaching methods by Snape, frustrating interactions between Ron and Hermione, and lots of chicken. Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place...

There is a tragic lack of Hedwig in this chapter, but that doesn't stop Alice and Martha from paying homage to the great white bird through silence and song. Also in this episode is debate of what underwater animal is the most useful Animagus, controversy over Harry's willingness to leave Hermione behind, and, of course, impressions of Dobby, Myrtle, and Fleur. Please consider supporting us on Pat...

From Myrtle to Mrs. Norris to Mad-Eye, it's hard to figure out which eye JK is really referring to with this chapter title. Nevertheless, Alice and Martha have fun dissecting the intricacies of this chapter and bringing back one of Martha's worse impressions. Don't be too distraught! Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware tha...

Alice and Martha pick apart every aspect of the OG #FakeNews promoter, Rita Skeeter herself, and get a little too excited talking about Professor/Queen Grubbly-Plank. We're still trying to make S.P.U.G. happen. Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the seri...

Dobby impressions abound in this extra-long Christmassy episode! Listen to this episode if you are interested in Alice and Martha’s favorite colors, Martha’s mouth problems, and *finally* hearing Krum speak. What’d you expect, turnips? Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which tak...

Happy Halloween! In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Paul Asleson (@paulasleson) and the Sorting Witch Hat to sort the characters of Hocus Pocus into Hogwarts houses.  Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both the Hocus Pocus and Harry Potter series. Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

Giggles abound in one of the silliest chapters of this book as Harry and Ron struggle to find dates for the Yule Ball, Hermione struggles to fight for feminism, and Hagrid struggles to speak like a normal person. This is the 100th episode of the Real Weird Sisters and is therefore a chance for us to, er, let our hair down. Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters...

Harry and Ron are friends again and, for once, all is right with the world. Someone ought to tell Winky. Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series. Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subsc...

This chapter has it all: shoddy research methods, sassy Harry moments, and awkward interactions galore! Plus, it turns out Ron isn't the worst person in the world! Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series. Book club episodes are released every Monda...

Harry is emo, Hagrid is weird, Ron is cranky, Hermione is angelic, and Rita Skeeter is in her element. What more could you want from a chapter Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series. Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics...

Alice and Martha are back to discuss the potential of a mandatory gymnastics program at Hogwarts, debate the painfulness of Hermione's teeth injury, and complain a lot about Snape. And don't worry, they also complain about Ron plenty. Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take...

This chapter is all kinds of awkward, so Alice and Martha do their best to remedy the awkwardness through bad French accents, horrible Moody growls, and questionable Dumbledore-Yoda comparisons. Plus, never forget: DID YA PUT YA NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH?? Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoile...

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Josh Wigler (@roundhoward) and the Sorting Crown to sort the characters of Game of Thrones into Hogwarts houses. Stay tuned for part 2!  Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both the Game of Thrones and Harry Potter series. Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Mo...

The sisters swap stories of being almost as awkward as Ron around famous people, battle for best (or worst) Fleur impression, and get grossed out by a lot of strange foods in this chapter. Watch out for talons!  Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the ser...

Before they even have a chance to mispronounce foreign schools’ names, Alice and Martha get bogged down in the linguistic trenches of Harry Potter spells. But don’t worry, they give themselves plenty of chances for pronunciation humiliation throughout this episode!? Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contain...

This week, Martha is joined by a hoarse Alice to discuss the intricacies of Mad-Eye Moody’s mad eye, the fine line between Mad-Eye and Barty Crouch Jr., and the insensitive behavior of Ron. Warning: listening to this episode is enough to earn a life sentence in Azkaban. And remember, CONSTANT VIGILANCE! Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning!...

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Haley Strong (@hstrong_) to draft and imagine a fantasy season of The Bachelorette, starring Hermione Granger as the Bachelorette and featuring Harry Potter characters as contestants. Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters . Be aware that the show may contain spoile...

One of the grossest chapters in all of Harry Potter, including newborn Blast-Ended Skrewts, bubotuber pus, and Hermione scarfing down her food at breakneck speed. Warning: Do not listen to this episode while eating, unless you’ve got to dash to the library right after. Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show cont...

After twelve long weeks, we are finally back in the Hogwarts castle and all is right with the world! Martha's impressions abound as the Sorting Hat sings a new song, and Alice tries to stump Martha with a new game.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the...

Alice and Martha recap Chapter 11 of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, AKA the story of "The Boy Who Cried Dark Wizard." We really just can't wait to finally get to Hogwarts.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series. Book club episodes are relea...

Alice and Martha debate which Weasley is Mrs. Weasley’s favorite, discuss the power of the press in Harry Potter, and complain about Percy… but what else is new. Please consider supporting us on Patreon!  www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters .  Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series. Book club episodes are released every Monday ...