The Real Marriage Podcast

Why is it so hard to say "I'm Sorry?" In marriage you inevitably encounter trials of many kinds and you have to figure out the right way to overcome it and move forward.  What we have learned in nine years is that one of the absolute best ways to start the healing process after a conflict is to say those two words. Listen and hear whether Heather or Griffin is better at saying &quot...

Do you feel like your marriage could be more sexy? The word sexy means a few different things.  Yes, it has to do with the romantic aspect of your relationship but it's bigger than that.  Every couple wants to keep their marriage interesting and exciting.  None of us want our marriage to fall into a systematic routine without anything spontaneous.  We want it to continue to be more and more e...

You asked and we answered. We received some incredible and personal questions from our listeners.  From dealing with petty fights, to finding closure and healing from our miscarriages and how to know when it's time to make the next big step in life together, we answer it all. Listen and hear Heather and Griffin talk in detail about what they do in their free time.  And hear why learning how t...

How well do you make decisions? You may have heard the quote that "life is a series of choices" and that couldn't be more true.  The older we get and the longer we are married the more significant our decisions are. Every decision you make impacts your spouse, your children and your future. Listen and hear Heather and Griffin grade each other on their decision making skills.  Also,...

How well do you recover from a fight? Maybe it takes longer than you would like.  Or, maybe your arguments continue to get louder and more hurtful and you aren't experiencing any kind of recovery.  If fights and arguments are unavoidable (which is the reality) then how can we learn to recover better after we have them?  In this episode Griffin and Heather share candidly about some of their mo...

What does it mean to have a Christ-centered marriage? At the heart of Griffin and Heather's marriage is a pursuit of something bigger than themselves.  The desire to have their relationship with Christ at the core of everything they do has changed everything for them. It's what provides a solid foundation in each of their lives.  It creates a joy for them that nothing else could produce....

It has taken over! Social media and technology are such a big part of the fabric of our lives now.  We rely on it, we enjoy it and we run to it often.  The average American spends six hours a day watching television and over two hours a day on social media. While there are many positives to tech and social media they also create challenges not only for us as individuals but also for our entire fam...

Everyone has baggage. You can call it burdens, our past, habits, whatever you may label it as but each of us carries something we wish we didn't have to. As a married couple you notice that baggage can create challenges within your marriage.  It can also be the unknown cause of why you face difficulties within your relationship as well.  What if you created a dynamic in your marriage where as...

What will be different this year?  We always jump into the new year with a fresh and rejuvenated mindset for our lives.  We set goals, look to make strides and improve in all kinds of areas of our lives.  It’s no different with our marriage.  We felt and experienced many things in 2019 and want to use those to move you forward in a better way in 2020. In the first episode of season two Heather and...

What if one habit could change your marriage for the better? For us we needed to find a way to communicate more consistently.  With how busy life is because of work, kids and all that encompasses our lives we found that if we weren't intentional about connecting and communicating with each other it probably wouldn't happen.  It definitely wouldn't happen to the level we needed it to...

Choices turn into habits.  And habits determine your future. What kind of habits do you have with your spouse?  If you are anything like us you are busy and constantly on the move looking ahead to the next thing on the calendar or the "to-do" list. So when do you find time to intentionally catch up with each other?  We've found that it is absolutely essential in our marriage to cons...

Do you ever get frustrated or confused when it comes to your sex life with your spouse? At times it is good and meeting expectations and then for some reason it changes.  It starts to happen less.  It feels like your spouse isn't as interested but you don't know why.  Or do you ever wonder why you don't feel the sex drive as strong at certain times? Welcome to the seasons of sex! Si...

What will this holiday season look like for you? Will you enjoy it?  Will it be stressful? It seems more and more that the normal experience in the holiday season is less and less of what we actually want it to be. It's meant to be the happiest time of the year but it doesn't often turn out that way. The culture we live in forces us into a stressful and busy mindset that can leave us exh...

You were created for connection. In fact, one of the reasons we get married is so that this need is met. The beauty of marriage is that we get to walk through every season of life with someone we love.  With someone we trust. This is where it can get tricky.  When you feel disconnected from your spouse you have a huge void to fill.  It negatively impacts you, your marriage and your family.  While...

Every marriage has a foundation. It's what you turn to when times are tough.  It's the glue that holds your marriage together. There are many different foundations.  Some marriages are built on their sexual attraction, common interests, similar dreams, money being made, the kids or even each other. The question is will your foundation hold you close together through any and every season...

The old adage is, “Opposites attract.” Statistics show that most people marry someone that is opposite to them even though most of our friends are more like us.  Maybe we just like the challenge.  Maybe we are intrigued by someone we are not and innately we want to feed off of their different personality and way of thinking. On the other hand, the moment it sinks in that you and your spouse have l...

Money is the most common cause of divorce.  It's also the main reason married couples have arguments.  So, how do we approach such a tension-filled topic within our own marriage? The goal of this conversation is to encourage couples to find unity and common ground when it comes to your finances.  Most likely, you and your spouse approach money in two different ways.  One of you may be more ti...

Every relationship involves conflict.  There really is no way to get away from it. In all reality the goal shouldn't be to completely avoid conflict.  If done well, it can be a blessing to your marriage.  However, if done in an unhealthy way it can make life miserable. In this episode Heather and Griffin talk personally about four keys to healthy conflict within your marriage.  They discuss h...

Let’s talk about sex. It's truly one of the greatest blessings when it comes to marriage.  When God created the covenant of marriage He built in this incredible way a husband and wife could consistently reconnect with one another.  It's one of the most powerful experiences you can have with another person which is why it's meant for marriage.   That’s the intention. But what happens...

What is the main goal for a parent? If you are like us you feel the immense responsibility of being a parent.  We want to help our kids grow mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.  The sobering reality is that we have a certain amount of years to do the best we can in all of these areas for each of our kids.  Talk about overwhelming! For us, we believe the greatest goal we can strive f...

Oh, the in-laws.  Why is this so hard? Of course, most relationships are challenging and take work but this one seems different.   In this episode, Griffin and Heather talk about the challenges we all face to create healthy relationships with our in-laws.  We discuss how to protect your own marriage from the tension your in-laws can create between you.  We even share some of the trials we’ve faced...

Do you often feel too busy that you can't catch your breathe?  Overwhelmed and stressed by the day-to-day that you and your spouse seem like you never really connect? It seems like anytime you ask someone how they are these days they give the same answer: "I'm so busy!"  We all can feel like that.  And truthfully its hard to even avoid falling into a routine where your schedule...

How would you describe the culture of your marriage?  What words come to mind? If you are like us you want to create a marriage that lasts.  Something that in 25 years you can look back on and be proud of.  We often think about what our kids will say when someone asks them to explain what their parents were like.  We all have a way to describe the family we grew up in.  How dad spoke to mom.  If t...

For our first episode we want you to know two things: 1) Why did we start The Real Marriage Podcast? 2) Who are Griffin and Heather Gilstrap? You will hear about how Griffin got Heather to even marry him, how our relationship almost never happened and the heart behind the podcast. We love marriage, family and faith.  We believe in the power of marriage and how it can impact every aspect of our liv...