The Real Marriage Podcast

It almost sounds like an outdated word. What does modesty look like is 2023?  Is it even something worth focusing on? In part two of our "Set Apart" series we dive into this topic.  You will hear Griffin and Heather walk through their process of figuring out as a couple how they wanted to approach modesty.  And while it's easy to focus on the surface level ideas about what we wear a...

The longer we are married the deeper our conversations get about who we want to become.   We talk a lot about our foundation, the growth areas of our lives and what we truly care the most about. For us, we want a marriage and a life that is set a part.  Free from what the world and culture is chasing, which by the way doesn't seem to work out for many people anyway, and driven towards what is...

Whether it is at work, with kids and parents, your faith and any other relationship you can think of we all prefer values more than rules.   No one wants to be dictated to or forced to follow a rigid set of rules because their is no heart to that. Parameters and boundaries are helpful but they are more powerful when they are based around a set of values that establish those boundaries.   Listen an...

There is a difference between being busy and being fruitful.   Life is jam-packed.  You've noticed that there aren't enough hours in the day and that you always have more to get done.   The tendency is to believe the lie that being busy is the best way to be.  That if you're busy you are moving forward and keeping up.  We live in an age of "hustle culture" telling you to s...

Have you ever been told you are too emotional? What about hearing that you don't show enough emotion?  Most likely, your emotional makeup is different between you and your spouse.  One of you wears them on your sleeve while the other keeps them close to the vest and doesn't show much at all. This can be a sticking point for many relationships.  Not understanding, valuing and caring for e...

Do you have clutter in your life?  As the weeks and months fly by it becomes so easy to get busy and overwhelmed with everything.  We get farther away from what our goals were at the beginning of the year and things begin to pile up.  Business becomes a major challenge.   It's easy to start losing focus of the main things we should give our attention to.  Our marriage, kids, faith, etc.  It m...

The real reason we feel like we have a successful and growing marriage is because of God's involvement in our everyday lives. We talk often about how God has led us or shown us something.  So, can you really hear from God?  What does that exactly mean and can that happen for you? There are so many questions when it comes to faith but when it comes down to it, us hearing from God has been a ga...

Last episode we tried to answer a common question people ask us.  How do you balance it all? The truth is that it is very difficult.  It's a constant conversation of where we are lacking and how we should adjust.   This week we touch on the different area of our life that each of us has had the toughest challenge with balance.  Heather speaks on the challenges of having to focus on the kids t...

One of the most common questions people ask us is how do you balance it all? It's a great question and it's forced us to really think hard about how we approach all that we have going on in our lives. It certainly isn't easy and it was harder in the beginning.  For us, believe it or not, it has gotten somewhat easier the more we have added.  We have matured and learned so much along...

Fights and disagreements happen for various reasons.  Whether it is stress induced, miscommunication, using the wrong tone at the wrong time, etc. conflict is just a part of the marriage equation.  So, when your spouse lets you down or puts you in a difficult position how do you handle it?  Do you respond with love and patience or are you more prone to being frustrated, annoyed or bitter towards t...

It's been nine months since our last episode and so much has happened with the Gilstrap in that time. Covid, new home, new job, new school for the kids and a new baby is just the beginning of our last nine months.  We share it all in our first episode of season six along with the challenges we have faced as a couple and as a family throughout the process.  Thank you for taking this journey wi...

In this episode Griffin and Heather give an update on their move to North Carolina and what that means for the future of The Real Marriage Podcast.   Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com .

How do you know it’s God’s voice? We received this awesome question last week and got really excited to talk about it.  Of course, we are Christians and are seeking to grow in our faith every single day.  That journey has led to daily wanting to be led by the Lord in our thoughts, decisions and way we live our lives. For us, with so much responsibility as spouses, parents and leaders we do not wan...

Your greatest strength is your greatest weakness. At first glance it keep seem a bit odd.  But the more you think about personalities it makes total sense.  Your strength in one area of your life is great but can create a weakness in other areas.  Maybe you are very driven which allows you to thrive at work but it causes you to give less to your family.  Or, you are extremely creative which produc...

Stress can come unannounced. Life seems to pile up the challenges quickly.  Circumstances can change in an instant and so many things can happen that you just aren't ready for.  Griffin and Heather have walked into a season just like this.  And even though what they are walking into are all good things  the stress has come very fast.  In this episode Griffin and Heather talk about how they ar...

Ten years of marriage. The old cliche is definitely true, time flies when you are having fun!  It feels like yesterday that Heather was hitting on Griffin on the first day of our freshman year at Stetson University.  And here we are with four kids and one on the way about to move our whole lives to a new state!  It's been a great ride. As we reflected on our first ten years of marriage we rea...

Life is full of surprises! We didn't anticipate taking a break this early in the year but so much has happened in March for our family.  As overwhelming as our two announcements are we feel incredibly blessed and excited about what God is doing in our lives. Take a listen and hear some big updates from the Gilstrap family! Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your...

Who should be leading your marriage? Should anyone lead a marriage?  Isn’t it supposed to be an equal partnership with mutual share of the decision making? Honestly, it can get complicated quickly.  Many of us grew up and saw different things.  Maybe you were in a single-parent home where a mom had to really step up and take care of a lot of things on their own.  Maybe it was more traditional in t...

Should your marriage make you happy? It seems like an obvious answer.  I mean, we didn't get married to feel unhappy with someone for the next 50 years.  We want it to be fun and positive.  We want to enjoy marriage. But what do we do when our spouse doesn't make us happy?  How should we feel when they frustrate us or disappoint us?  As much as we want to feel happy with each other all o...

"Rut" - A habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change. Yep, we've all been there.  Whether it's your job, your schedule, your marriage or even your parenting we've all been in a rut.  Our excitement has waned and our enthusiasm for life in general has tumbled as a result.  Although these seasons of life are common they are also...

Waiting is hard. Many of us have had to wait to get married, to have kids, to get that promotion or to walk into our dreams. Waiting is a consistent part of our journey and it's something we want to thrive in.  The challenge is learning to wait well and to not allow the waiting to be wasted.  Because the reality is that the seasons of your life where you are waiting can either be a catalyst f...

Most people don't like change.  The anxiety of it.  The unknowns you have to face.  Change is hard for individuals and it can create unexpected stress for your marriage.  However, we all understand that change is inevitable. Whether it is having kids for the first time, moving to a new state, changing jobs or a change to your life that you didn't even ask for we all face transitions.  Th...

How can you make sure you don't lose yourself in your marriage? It's a good question with a complicated answer.  God created marriage for two people to become one.  It's a lifelong journey of merging two lives together to make something amazing. It takes compromise and sacrifice of yourself to do it well. But, on the other hand, there is something special about each individual.  And...

“It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish.” Maybe you have heard that quote before from a coach or a parent sometime in your life.  It makes sense.  It’s all about the finish.  But let’s be honest, a good start gets you to the finish you want much quicker.   Most people are elated that 2020 is over and 2021 has begun.  It’s like a fresh start that we all needed.  We want new, different and bett...

You can’t wait for this year to end.  We get it! It’s been a year unlike any other.  We have all been challenged in ways we never expected and are hoping that a fresh new year will provide something better. But, before you get ahead of yourself, have you considered how important these next 31 days are?  Think about it.  2021 will not magically create an easier life for us.  You know you will face...