The Real HouseBears Podcast

The Housebears are back and so glad to be talking about our favorite topics: Housewives and ourselves. This week, we're cathcing up with the Housebears. Hunter's proposing Vanderpump parallels with this season of #RHONJ. Papa the Bear is Patient Zero in his college horror story. We're both wondering when Frank is going to come back into our lives. Don't be a has-been; be a double s...

We finally get answers in part 3 of the #RHOSLC Reunnion, but we are left with even more questions. This week, Hunter ponders if Mary dives into the women's insecurities to hide her own. Papa the Bear wonders if Monica would be any good on Traitors. We both need to know if Meredith ever got an apology from the women for believing the Greek Mafia DMs were from her. We are taking a short break n...

Bravo might be saving all of the juicy bits for part 3 of the reunion, but we are giving you all of our juicy bits for part 2. This week, Hunter has opinions on mothers who smother. Papa the Bear thinks that Jack Barlow has comedy. Both of us think that Mary has poor judgement of Whitney. Join us for another week of laughs and Dumb Bitchery.

Reunited and it feels so good, at least for the Core 4. This week, Hunter uses Monica's own words against her. Papa the Bear explains how Lisa's ring saved Henry's life. We both have many people to thank and make #HousebearsFamous. We watched the uncensored version of the #RHOSLC reunion part 1, so expect a little less censorship from us this week.

This was possibly the best episode of The Real Housewives in Housewives history. It was definitely the best finale. This week, Hunter is convinced that not only does Monica find the dirt on these women, but she also found Lisa's ring. Papa the Bear explains why he thinks about Heather Gay during sex. We both debate whether Monica should come back next season. Recap this mind-blowing episodes w...

We'd rather be Swimming with the Fishes than miss recapping this week's #RHOSLC. This week, Hunter is a gay reindeer with a shiny nose. Papa the Bear is curious about the anatomy of Justin Rose's nose. We both hope that our anatomy doesn't get exploited, but we kind of hope it does. Who knows? It's our last episode of the year. Happy Holidays from The Housebears!

You'll have a Blue, Blue Christmas without our recaps of episode 13, Bermuda Views and Bathtub Blues and episode 14, Bermuda Birthday Blues . This week, Hunter admits that his core issue with Housewives is jealousy. Papa the Bear is taking a Bible Break. We both give insight into Heather's sexual boundaries. Hook up the IV and get your makeup done. It's time to rally!

If We C ould Churn Back Time , we might have recorded an episode last week instead of stuff ourselves with food. Instead, we have another supersized episode to match our supersized guts. This week, Hunter is not interested in traditional Pioneer cuisine. Papa the Bear claims to be Heather's best match. We both continue to share our love of Lisa Barlow. We have some new sound equipment, and off...

We want Mormons to Get a Good Rap, so we completely support a Lisa Barlow Hip Hop Christmas album. This week, Hunter is the star of the episode. Papa the Bear hears with all the colors of the wind. We both think that Heather's castmates should read her book. Don't be loose like Mary's wig; this #RHOSLC recap is tight.

We stand with Beauty Lab + Laser and give an admittedly one-sided recap of this week's #RHOSLC episode. We're in between work trips and Papa the Bear's birthday weekend in Portland, so The Real Housebears are going raw once again. This week, we have a lot of opinions about the Don't Come for My Sound Bath episode, but it's really all about Papa the Bear's birthday...at leas...

We're back after a week off, and ready for some Moms, Missions, and Mayhem. This week, Hunter finds Monica's long lost sister. Papa the Bear thinks the truth is somewhere in the middle. We both choose our favorite lines of the show. We're as happy to be back in the Hot Closet as Monica's mom is to be on television.

The finale of #RHONY marks a new season for The Real Housebears, and now it's all about #RHOSLC. This week, Hunter discovers that he is a Greek dancer. Papa the Bear thinks that Angie K is giving us classic Housewives. We both want to get loud with Seth. This highest rated season of Salt Lake City is like an Olive Branch to viewers without the Thorns.

Suprise! We have been Connecticut-ing the Dots and realized that a few dots weren't connected. We decided to give the #RHONY finale it's own special episode so that we could give the ladies of RHONY the respect and attention they deserve. This week, Hunter thinks that people In the Know wear their masks to a masquerade party. Papa the Bear is recovering from Bumper Car PTSD. We both make s...

You might have heard the Après Rumor that we've had a Night at Swingers, but we've actually just been hairy, sweaty bear missionaries. This week, Hunter is trying to save a Jonas Brother from the Whale. Papa the Bear is challenging Mary to a choir sing-off. We both think we're going to try Heather's Snow Diet. Check out another week of your drunk uncles recapping your favorite show...

The Nastiness and Rumors are true. We are not Well Healed coming back from vacation, but we're here, we're queer, and we're doing this podcast! This week, Hunter believes that conversations about threesomes equal healthy relationships. Papa the Bear thinks that Mary Cosby needs to host a Weakest Link reboot. We both think that we'd be pretty compatible friends with Erin and Abe. We...

We had the great pleasure of chatting with "Abe the Babe" Lichy, Erin's husband, from The Real Housewives of New York. Abe is a hidden gem on the show with a wide variety of skills and interests. In addition to taking Abe's Bravo podcast virginity, we also find out who he is inviting into his bedroom. The music takes us over with the Lichy Nuts and Abe's DJing skills. We all...

Don't Be A Drag; hang out with the Housebears as we solve the Case of the Missing Phone. This week, Hunter explores his embarrassment kink. Papa the Bear is experiencing a Nightmare on Groundhog Day. We both have been ruined by @drunkdrawn on Instagram. We're back from vacation and ready to fill your week with more Housebears than you ever knew you needed.

The Housebears are back on the road this week, so that means you get this week's #RHOSLC and #RHONY recap early. That also means No Tricks and All Trust for another raw and unedited episode. This week, Hunter's 23 and Me test reveals that he is the lycan spawn of Ubah and Brynn. Papa the Bear crowns the true Lucy and Ethel. We're both feeling Naughty-ical by Nature knowing that what we...

We're back in the Hot Closet, but we'd rather be crashing a Housewives Vacation in Palm Springs or Anguilla. This week, Hunter is in a hairy situation at the dinner table with Ubah. Papa the Bear relates to Monica's shopping needs. We both think we should be on Meredith and Seth's Hanging by a Thread Podcast. There's Nothing Vanilla about our RHOSLC and RHONY recaps.

We're having a difficult time keeping it Business Classy because we're so excited about the RHOSLC season 4 premiere! This week, Hunter wants to spend Christmas in Rockefeller Center. Papa the Bear finally finds out if Lisa Barlow has cooked eggs since last season. We're both hungry for sushi nachos. Once again we are away from the Hot Closet, but we couldn't miss this most importa...

If you Wreath What You Sow, then we must be sowing good times with a lot of laughs. This week, Hunter is Brynn, but has also joined Team Jessel. Papa the Bear appreciates that Erin is doing her job. We're both still waiting on our Jenna Lyons gift basket. We're not in the Hot Closet this week, so this #RHONY recap is raw and uncut.

We are absolutely Not Sorry for getting emotional during the Grand Finale of Crappie Lake. This week, Hunter faces his biggest fear: becoming Jessel. Papa the Bear wants to attend a school that has both international campuses and celebrity students. We both think that Craig from Benton has had a bigger arc than most Housewives. Don't miss this week's #RHONY and #CrappieLake recaps by Reali...

You don't have to worry about us being Fashionably Absent this week. It's Christmas in July in the Hot Closet, where the heat and humidity match Benton, Illinois. This week, Hunter shows off what a chess expert he is. Papa the Bear explains why Jessel is not the new Ramona. We both still wonder how many Housewives it takes to screw in a lightbulb. Relax in the Luann Suite and let the House...

It's easy to have creative differences when you know that you're the most Brynnteresting person in the room. This week, Hunter wants more traditional food for Friendsgiving. Papa the Bear wants to know who told Brynn about the first six months of her life. We both are really enjoying getting to know the ladies of #RHONY. We practiced with Courtney Cox for a full 30 minutes. Don't miss...

We're Taking Care of Business with this week's recap of #RHONY and #CrappieLake. This week, Hunter is Feeling Jovani. Papa the Bear is giving his hall pass to David, the trainer. We both play Two Truths and One Lie. This week's episode is hotter than a fresh plate of Shakshouka.