The Queer Quest Podcast | Exploring Queer Healing and Transformation

As a gay man, I’ve woven self-improvement into almost every part of my life—but how much time do I spend enjoying being me? I reflect on perfectionism, growing up being bullied for being gay, and the guilt that sometimes comes with resting, alongside the growth I genuinely enjoy. From a weekend on the couch to being ridiculous with my partner at the gym, I explore who I am beyond my goals and rout...

I can share incredibly intimate parts of my life publicly, yet when something difficult is happening privately, asking for support often doesn’t even enter my mind. In this episode, I explore why I instinctively deal with things alone—even though I’m not afraid of vulnerability. I reflect on the difference between expressing myself and actually receiving support, how my partner shows love through...

Some things I learned as a child still show up in my life at 40. Growing up gay, I was bullied at school and afraid that telling my parents would mean explaining something about myself I didn't yet understand. I kept it inside, escaped into games, and became used to dealing with difficult feelings on my own. In this episode of Dear Christiano, I explore feeling overlooked, remembering myself a...

What happens when you spend years changing yourself to be accepted, only to realise that people might not know the real you? In this deeply personal episode of Dear Christiano, I explore growing up gay, childhood bullying, people-pleasing, and the different versions of myself I created to feel worthy of love. From Christopher becoming Christiano to the exhaustion of performing in friendships, rela...

I’m 40. I’ve been openly gay for about half my life. So why am I still coming out? In this deeply personal episode of Dear Christiano, I revisit my coming-out story — from being bullied with gay slurs before I understood what they meant, to standing in front of a mirror crying because I physically couldn’t say “I’m gay.” I talk about telling someone for the first time, being outed at work, homopho...

Who would I be if I wasn't gay? Not who would I have dated. Not who would I have slept with. Who would I actually be? In this episode, I trace the thread of being gay through my entire life—from being bullied as a little boy before I even understood what gay meant, to masculinity, body image, sex, partying, relationships, loneliness, ambition, burnout, healing, Bali and the creative work I'm build...

I used to think there would be a number in my bank account where I'd finally feel safe. I've had savings. I've had more than $30,000 in credit card debt. I've spent five years paying it back. I've watched investments collapse and recover. I've left a secure career, built businesses, invested money, made money, lost money and done some pretty deep work on my relationship wit...

What happens when someone you love is going through a dark chapter — and their darkness starts landing on you? In this deeply personal episode, Christiano opens up about the complicated reality of loving someone through mental health struggles, emotional overwhelm and periods where the relationship itself begins to feel unsafe. After five years together, he reflects on feeling like the emotional p...

A night out at a gay club brought back memories of my twenties, the friends who shaped those years, and a version of myself I sometimes miss. But it also reminded me that I wouldn't give up the life I've created to go back. In this episode, I explore the complicated grief of old friendships, the relationships we leave behind as we grow, and what recent experiences have taught me about comm...

Eight years ago, I travelled alone to Peru and drank ayahuasca seven times over two weeks. I went there after reaching a breaking point. From the outside, my life looked successful. Underneath it, I was lonely, guarded, abusing substances and carrying years of shame, rejection and unresolved experiences. Ayahuasca didn't magically fix my life. But something happened in Peru that changed the wa...

What happens when you believe in something before there's any evidence that it's going to work? This week, I found myself deep inside one of the most intense creative periods I've experienced in years — creating around 30 LGBTQIA+ songs, building a new music project from scratch and spending entire days completely absorbed in bringing an idea to life. And hardly anybody is watching yet...

Why is it sometimes easier to completely stop than to simply find balance? After another intense reset — including an 84-hour water fast — I’m questioning my relationship with discipline, queer body image, indulgence, healthy habits and why stripping everything away seems to unlock something creatively in me. Because maybe the hardest part isn't stopping. Maybe it's learning how to build a...

I love having my family visit. I also really love when they leave. 😂 After having family stay in my home, I started questioning why the people we love can trigger us in ways almost nobody else can — and whether I sometimes confuse "different from me" with "less evolved than me." This is a conversation about family, siblings, boundaries, judgment, people-pleasing and learning t...

I used to make my life sound more interesting, successful and desirable than it really was—not simply to impress people, but because I didn’t believe the real me was enough. In this deeply personal conversation, I explore how childhood loneliness became perfectionism, how rejection was disguised as choice, and how my desire to appear successful followed me into friendships, dating and business. Be...

What happens when your dreams stop inspiring you and start replacing your real life? In this deeply personal episode, I explore the difference between imagination, manifestation and escapism. For years I built elaborate fantasy versions of my future. Some eventually became reality. Others simply distracted me from appreciating the life I'd already built. This is an honest conversation about pe...

I think I’m lonelier than I sometimes admit. It’s strange to say that when I have a partner I love, close friendships, a full life and people around me. But I’m beginning to realise that being alone and feeling lonely are two very different things. In this episode of Dear Christiano, I’m exploring something I’m still figuring out in real time: the loneliness of feeling different, the loneliness th...

Have you ever looked back at your life and realised the same kind of person keeps showing up? For years, I believed I had a pattern of attracting controlling people. Different friendships. Different workplaces. Different chapters of my life. But the feeling was always the same—I would slowly stop speaking up, second-guess myself, and lose my voice. In this episode, I'm exploring a difficult tr...

You don't need more confidence. You don't need another sign. You don't need permission. Sometimes the life you've been dreaming about begins with one small step taken before you feel ready. In this episode, I reflect on the moments that changed my life—from coming out and changing careers to moving to Bali, starting businesses and finally launching this podcast. Every transformatio...

One of the hardest parts of changing your life isn't changing yourself. It's watching your relationships change with you. In this episode I reflect on giving up alcohol, leaving Australia, moving to Bali, losing friendships that once meant everything, and learning that loneliness isn't always something to fix. Sometimes it's simply the space life creates before introducing the peop...

Turning 40 wasn't the beginning of a midlife crisis. It was the beginning of finally becoming myself. In this first episode of Dear Christiano, I share why I stepped away from everything I had built, what burnout, reinvention and turning 40 taught me, and why this podcast exists. This isn't about having the answers. It's about having the conversations with ourselves that change everything. If you'...

There were so many times I wished I could trade in my life for a different one. As a kid, I fantasized about being a world-class tennis player, a celebrity, a famous speaker — anything that would make me liked, adored, loved. Because the truth was, I had no friends. I was invisible. Bullied. Alone. In this vulnerable episode of Dear Christiano , I reflect on how childhood fantasies and people-plea...

This is not just a meditation. This is a reclamation. This is a vow to live your queerness as holy, unapologetic, and revolutionary. In this deep 3-part guided journey, you’ll awaken the fire of rebellion that lives inside you — not as chaos, but as sacred truth. You’ll step into your queer power, meet your Sacred Rebel Self, and return ready to live your daily life as proof that queerness itself...

Internalized homophobia and transphobia are the invisible chains many LGBTQIA+ people carry. In this 4-part series, Christiano Green unpacks what it means to heal from these internalized voices of shame, fear, and unworthiness — and how to step into queer joy and liberation. You’ll learn how these patterns show up in our lives, how to break the cycle with compassion and community, and why embracin...

To the outside world, you may look raw, open, and unafraid to share your truth. But inside, you know there’s always another layer you’re struggling to reach. In this intimate episode of Dear Christiano , queer coach and storyteller Christiano Green reflects on the deeply personal, non-linear process of vulnerability. From growing up in a family that never talked about emotions, to learning how que...

What if you could step through a doorway in time and meet the version of you who already made it? The one who is free. The one who is thriving. The one who carries no shame, only wholeness. This deep, introspective queer meditation will guide you into a sacred space where you’ll meet your future queer self face-to-face — to receive wisdom, love, and courage for the journey you’re on right now. In...