The Psychology of your 20s

In this week's episode we discuss the psychology of your ego and what its trying to tell us! Ego can feel nasty and entitled but it comes from a place of deep insecurity that we need to unpack before we can truly understand ourselves. We look at the 6 signs your ego is in control, where ego comes from and how to replace it with self esteem and humility. We also discuss why ego and self confidence...

Love, dating and friendships can feel like a black box in our 20s when we're trying to make the most out of our formative years. None of us have the answers or a guide to some of our biggest questions - how do I actually make new friends, how many friends should I have, should I be settling down this early or exploring my options? In part two of this series we breakdown how to make the most out of...

How do we actually make the most of our 20s? Career anxiety, feeling stuck, taking risks and managing our money (do we spend or save) are all big concerns we have in this period. So how do we manage these dilemmas and choices to create our dream life in our 20s, and what does that dream life even look like? In part one of our mini series, we examine the major decisions we make during this decade a...

Trauma seems like a bit of a black box at times, something that we all experience as part of our life journey as humans but surrounded by a lot of misinformation. In this episode, we are joined by our guest, Dr MC McDonald, author of The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong to break down all of the science and psychology behind why we react to trauma the way we do, suppressed memories, what actually cou...

Love and attachment feel very similar, and it's very easy to confuse the two especially in the early stages of dating when we are overwhelmed by infatuation and the novelty of a new relationship. However, they are very different. Whilst love is a deliberate choice, mutual, selflessness, and long lasting, attachment is unconscious, can be one-sided and based on what serves our needs. Confusing thes...

In this episode, I want to talk about depression. And not just from a psychological and scientific perspective but also from a personal perspective, sharing parts of my story. It's not something I've talked about much on the podcast but recently I've really come to terms with my own shame and stigma and I want to discuss where I'm at now, the journey I've been on and how its impacted the life I've...

Everyone is talking about healing our inner child, but what about our inner teenager? We experience certain things in adolescence that we don't experience as children and these can manifest in different behaviours, defence mechanisms and emotional wounds that continue with us into adulthood. Whilst the inner child is seen as gentle and vulnerable, the inner teen may be angry, misunderstood and lon...

All of us are going to mess up. In our 20s and every decade thereafter. But its what we choose to do with those mistakes that's important. In this episode we explore why we often regret past decisions and actions, looking at the development of our brain and personality, we also explore the distinction between regret and guilt and why both emotions may actually be protecting us from future pain. Pa...

It’s something we all inevitably experience in our dating lives, the pain of a break-up, saying goodbye to someone we loved and then, one day, the realisation that your ex has moved on and is with someone new. It can be incredibly confronting and painful, so today we're going to explore exactly why it hurts, even if deep down, we know we were never going to work. We will dive into the psychologica...

This week we're discussing the secret and the science behind the healing powers of nature. Our generation has become increasingly detached from the outdoors and our wild roots, with over 90% of our days spent indoors or on a screen, often at the expense of our mental wellbeing, sense of self, psychological and spiritual connection with the land and overall physical health. In this episode we explo...

Independence is highly regarded as an admirable personality trait - we are obsessed with people who are self made, who solo travel, pay their own bills and don't seem to need anyone. However, our sense of independence can become problematic when we approach the point of hyper-independency. Hyper-independence refers to an excessive sense of self sufficiency and self reliance, in which we deny the h...

So often in life, we are our own worst enemies. The meanest and loudest voice in our head is our own. So why are we so hard on ourselves? In this episode we break down the psychological underpinnings behind our inner critic, from the proposed evolutionary role of negative self talk, to the influence of our upbringing including the distinction between conditional and unconditional positive regard,...

The term 'gaslighting' has grown in popularity in recent years and become part of our shared psychobabble, giving our generation the language to describe a pattern of behaviour that has existed for centuries. This week on the podcast, we explore a recent story in the media on gaslighting and dive into what gaslighting actually means from a psychological perspective. We explore the origins of the t...

On this week's episode we discuss why we fall into a so called 'rut' and how to pull ourselves out of it and rekindle our sense of self! Our 20s represent a transition into adulthood where we can find ourselves more and more detached from ourselves, uninspired, unmotivated, unexcited by life. The reasons for why this occurs varies, from the transition to full-time work, experiencing failure, the m...

TW: Domestic violence, sexual abuse. In her early 20s, Amy suffered an unimaginable loss. Her mother was murdered at the hands of her brother. But what came next is an even more incredible story of growth, advocacy and overcoming adversity and trauma. In this week's episode, we speak to Amy about trauma in our 20s and how we can push through grief and loss. We discuss the power of positive self ta...

Being single has never been more common, with more people being single than ever before in history. And yet, we still experience a great degree of social and internal stigma, and even shame, around our relationship status. From the comments of family or friends saying that "you'll find someone soon", to the movies where marriage and partnership is the happy ending, sometimes we feel the need to se...

Overthinking can sometimes feel like an endless mental maze that we're trapped in. This tendency to overthink can also lead to chronic indecisiveness and obsessive acknowledgement of the opinions of others. But overthinking is much more common that when we think, and may actually indicate a greater sense of self awareness and emotional intelligence. In this episode we explore why we have a tendenc...

The desire to be unique and individual is one that we all feel, especially in our 20s as we begin to establish our 'adult' identity and make efforts to distinguish ourselves. In this weeks episode we discuss seven major tips and strategies for being the most interesting and unique person in any room - from embracing unconventional thinking, rejecting the herd mentality of trends and the desire to...

This week we sit down for an intimate conversation with the incredible Claud Bailey, a queer film director and queer youth advocate based in Sydney, Australia to discuss what our gender and sexuality means for our 20s. We dive into the meaning of community, gender expression, the beauty of queerness and how to navigate coming of age as a queer person in the 21st century, along with the role of bei...

Today we're discussing the increasing prevalence of ghosting in modern dating. The use of dating apps has created a sense of choice overload, whilst social media has simultaneously allowed us a sense of online anonymity and diminished our ability to communicate, resulting in a rise in ghosting. Being ghosted can leave us craving emotional closure and feeling a sense of rejection. However, there ar...

HAPPY 100th EPISODE! In this week's episode, we are celebrating two very special milestones - 100 episodes of The Psychology of your 20s and the 2 year anniversary of the show. I decided to sit down and answer some of your questions around what I've learned from this experience, what advice I would give, how I'm going, my future plans, why heartbreak gave me the best gift I could have asked for an...

In our 20s we can often feel like we have to have a plan for our lives or a 5 year vision for where we want to be. This can cause us to be boxed in and blind to the surprises opportunities that life throws our way. The idea of a 5 year plan is a myth and in today's episode, we are going to break down why. From societal conventions of a 'good' life, the butterfly effect, the psychology behind impul...

Sometimes our biggest enemy isn't others, it's ourselves. Self sabotage is a complicated psychological experience whereby we unconsciously undermine our own goals and wellbeing because of an implicit belief that we don't deserve our success, are afraid of failure, or cannot allow ourselves to be happy. From dating people we shouldn't, to procrastination, indecision, doom scrolling and self destruc...

Long distance in any relationship can be hard, so why do we choose to do it? In our 20s our relationships take on an increased level of seriousness, but at the same time we are also presented with so many wonderful decisions to travel, move new places, try new positions and jobs and figure out what we want from our lives. However, our partners don't always make the same decision. In this episode,...

Recently I've been feeling, as the episode title says, ugly. My relationship with my body and sense of 'attractiveness' has always been complicated and in the past few months, certain events and experiences have only exacerbated a lot of the insecurities I've had since childhood. So I wanted to talk about it, because I know I'm not the only one. Our 20s involve a lot of self growth, coming into ou...