The Psychology of your 20s

Acne has just as many emotional and mental symptoms as it does physical. Having acne in our 20s is a significant source of insecurity, frustration and hopelessness, impacting how we go about making new friends, dating, career opportunities and so much more. In this episode we break down the psychology of acne, investigating the myths about the causes of acne, the subsequent stigma towards acne, th...

Sustaining a relationship has a lot more to do with the division of domestic, emotional and physical labour. A massive component is the mental load - the additional energy that goes into organising, scheduling and managing the daily tasks, chores and things that need to be done whilst also accounting for your partners needs. It's not a secret that women carry a lot more of the mental load than the...

The end of a relationship or a friendship can leave us with a lot of unanswered questions, especially when the split is sudden, out of the blue, and the other person is unresponsive. In other instances, we don't quite know what went wrong and are looking for answers. In today's episode we talk about the elusive myth that is closure: whether we need it, how to get it, and why we should not rely on...

A considerable question for those of us in our 20s is how do we create a good life? What does it mean to design a life we love and how exactly do we do that? In today's episode we break down five ways we can do this, including:  Deconstructing your old life for your new one + the Odyssey Plan Prototyping your new life + the 15 minute rule  Addition through subtraction  Pursue daily joy  Positive f...

Sometimes we become more attached to the idea of someone and their potential, than the reality of who they actually are. We begin to project our wants and desires on to them and ignore the red flags, the disappointments, the truth. This is what we call fantasy bonding and it prevents us from seeing someone for who they truly are, causes us to be lead along and invest in the wrong people. In this e...

Anger is one of our most primal emotions and yet we have no idea how to manage it. We suppress it, allowing it to rule our lives; we hide from it, we let it explode onto people who don't deserve our rage. In this episode we break down the psychology of anger and why anger is often a secondary emotion, masking our true fear, anxiety and insecurity. We explore how to manage our anger, use it for fue...

Two of the most noteworthy elements of our 20s are dating and our experiences with mental health. They also interact - our mental health will influence how we date, how we deal with rejection, how we meet new people, and subsequently, our dating experiences can have a profound impact on our mental health. In this episode we dissect everything about this interaction and how we can take care of our...

Being able to travel and explore the world in our 20s is such a unique privilege, but sometimes we can overdo a good thing and hit a point of complete emotional, mental and physical exhaustion, causing us to want to go home early, abandon our trip or enjoy our travels a lot less. In this episode we break down the psychology behind travel burnout, why it occurs, what it says about our human need to...

We experience chronic guilt towards a lot of things: guilt for resting, guilt for not resting, guilt for prioritising ourselves, guilt for being a bad friend, a bad partner, a bad student, for not deserving your opportunities. In today's episode we break down the guilt complex by exploring:  The childhood guilt wound People pleasing  The fawn response  Perfectionism  Negative self esteem  We also...

In today's episode we are going to discuss the psychology behind our health anxiety, something we don't speak about enough in our 20s. Health anxiety leaves us feeling incredibly hypervigilant to symptoms or feelings in our body that could indicate a life threatening illness or impending death, even if they are just a projection or derived from stress. This comes from our need to feel in control o...

Getting into a new relationship can bring up a lot of past trauma from previous relationships, and cause a lot of self sabotage or anxiety, resulting in behaviours such as:  Emotional unavailability Knit picking behaviour  Starting unnecessary fights  Stone walling  Pushing people away  Ignoring red flags  In this episode we answer the question "do you need to completely heal before entering into...

Many of us find ourselves obsessively focused on the opinions and judgements of others, letting their opinion of us influence our sense of self worth and confidence. However, true power and success comes when we embrace the courage to be disliked and recognise that the negative words of others come from their own insecurity, rather than as a reflection of us. In this episode we break down this con...

Alcohol is a drug, highly addictive, has proven to do damage to our minds and our bodies and yet makes up a huge part of our 20s, especially how we socialise and connect with others. In today's episode we are going to talk about the psychology of alcohol, the impact of alcohol on our brains, the influence our social circles and friendships have on our drinking habits, hangiexty, binge drinking and...

Welcome to 2024! With each new year on the podcast, we set a new theme or intention for the next 12 months. This year our theme is RISK, embracing our fear of change or making a mistake and embracing risk in all its forms! We discuss how we can get a better idea of what we want for our future, discover our purpose, what type of risks will get us there, the difference between bounded and unbounded...

Dating with an anxious attachment style comes with a number of challenges: struggling to feel secure, requiring constant reassurance, mistrust, a fear of abandonment, feeling unworthy of love or difficulty setting boundaries. But your attachment style is not a life sentence, it is something you can challenge and heal by embracing vulnerability, healthy love, boundary setting and applying the love...

Feeling stuck and dissatisfied with where you are in your life is never a place we want to be in. Perhaps you are contemplating a major life change - moving to a new city, quitting your job, leaving a long term relationship - that you believe will be the antidote to your future happiness and fulfilment. Psychology shows that this might not always be the case. Wanting to change something about our...

When we experience healthy love for the first time after years of unsettling, unhealthy, toxic relationships, one of the first reactions we can have is "why does this feel so boring?" Often we confuse safety with a lack of passion, or assume that just because this person doesn't activate our nervous system, we are missing the spark. This is often left over from past relationships where we have con...

As the holiday season approaches so does the expectation to start seeing family, including difficult family members who you would rather avoid. In today's episode we are joined by Alexis Fernandez, the host of the show Do You F***ing Mind, to gain a better understanding of how we can navigate those who we may be related to by blood but have a hard time being around, including:  Narcissistic parent...

Impulse shopping in an experience we've all had, the feeling of buying something you know you don't really need, but you want it desperately in the moment. Often during this decade we begin earning "adult money" for the first time and that means we can begin spending as a way to emotional regulate. Had a bad day? Buy a new pair of shoes. Been through a breakup? Shopping spree. There are so many wa...

We all know the feeling of going on a few dates with someone and, suddenly, you're unable to stop checking your phone for messages, wondering when they're free, imagining the wedding, your future kids. And then we are left depleted, ghosted or disappointed. This is what happens when we romanticise the idea of someone, engage in fantasy bonding and it can often end up sabotaging the relationship. I...

Often when we think about sex, we only think about the physical. We only think about the other person's enjoyment or what sex should   look like rather than what it could look like. Many of us have a very outdated understanding of what good, even great sex feels like and even less of an idea around how to achieve greater levels of pleasure and intimacy. In today's episode, we bring on the incredib...

Confidence truly is the secret to a better life: better friendships, better self esteem, better dates, better romance, better career success. Today, we are joined by the iconic, Tiff Baira known best for her show "Street Hearts NYC", her role as a matchmaker and model, as we explore how having certainty in your worth is the key to your dream life.  We break down the equation for true, undeniable c...

In 2021, Ellie Middelton received a diagnosis of ADHD and autism at the age of 23. It was one of the best things that happened to her. Today, she joins us to discuss why neurodivergence is typically overlooked in women, the misconceptions we have about ADHD and autism, unmasking and how to navigate a diagnosis later in life. She also discusses how to manage neurodivergence in our 20s, why self dia...

Do you ever feel like you need to be perfect, that you are responsible for the emotions of others, you’re the organiser in the friendship group, highly self reliant, an overachiever, constantly being told your mature for your age? I would make a good guess that you are the eldest daughter.  In today's episode we break down the psychology behind 'eldest daughter syndrome' and how birth order and ge...

Living in sharehouses in our 20s are like their own weird, social experiment. We put together a group of people with different upbringings, personalities, lifestyles and standards under one roof and expect it to work out. Sometimes it does, other times it doesn't and we see social harmony break down. In today's episode we discuss:  The four styles of roommates The Cinderella Roommate  The psycholo...