The Psychology of your 20s

All of us find ourselves remincising on the 'good old days' every now and then, but sometimes we can find ourselves getting trapped in the memories of the past and feeling like it will never be as good as it was. This is the nostalgia trap and it can keep us from being present, from enjoying our current season, or making new memories, it can also lead to nostalgic depression. It can be particulalr...

Journalling is seen as one of the holy grails when it comes to trying to improve your mental health and emotional wellbeing, but what about it is so great? The people who love it, absolutely swear by it, but where do we even begin? How can we make it less like a chore, and more joyous? In today's episode, we break down the psychology and fundamentals of journalling, including:  The history of jour...

Our fear of being alone forever and never finding the right one is scary, but it's also pretty natural. Whether you have never dated before, or are worried that you have missed your chance for true, long term love, it can be hard to imagine ourselves finding the right person without getting really caught up in the dating process. Today, let's talk about how to overcome your fear of being alone or...

One of the biggest questions we seem to encounter in our 20s and beyond is: what is my calling? What is my purpose, my mission, my passion? So many of us are left feeling panicked and like we are wasting time looking for the answer. Shouldn't this be obvious? Shouldn't I know by now? Actually, finding your purpose is not as simple as it looks, but in today's episode we dive into the Japanese conce...

Resentment is sometimes labelled as an ugly or bad emotion, something that is derived from a sense of entitlement. In actuality, resentment is a really useful emotion, it serves as an emotional alarm, it teaches us what we value, and it can help us understand our own expectations and sense of self worth even more. Despite that, when we don't manage our resentment well it can also come to harm our...

Survival mode is, at its core, a stress response. When our minds and our bodies are put under extreme stress or believe we are in danger, we can enter a state where all we care about is getting through the next day. This can turn us into a person we're not and make us lose the enjoyment and love for life, but also feel overwhelmed by constant panic and anxiety. In today's episode, we discuss how t...

We all want long lasting, passionate, meaningful love and in our 20s it can hard to figure out exactly how to find that. With so many 'rules' around what to do, pacing, when to become exclusive, when to say 'I love you', when to move in together, it seems the secret is to go slow and build emotional intimacy. In other words, embrace the power of the slow burn, the 'slowmance' and low pressure begi...

Is the secret to a happier, less stressful, more connected life actually play? A lot of the research is telling us so! As we get older sometimes we lose a bit of our joy, awe and wonder, and the time we have for our friendships becomes more restricted by work, obligations, distance, commitment and seriousness. In today's episode, let's talk about why the solution to that may be to bring back adult...

Our self doubts are what is keeping us in our own way. It is the foundation for our inner critic to tell us: you're not good enough, you're not talented enough, intelligent beautiful, hardworking to have the life and success you want. When we let our self doubts take control, it often means that we end up self handicapping or sabotaging before we get to the start line. In today's episode we are go...

Today on the podcast we are talking about toxic positivity and the problem with always being positive and putting a fluffy, warm, positive spin on things. Often our unrealistic optimism comes from a good place and our desire to be happy all the time but any person knows that isn't always possible. We break down:  The reason we gravitate towards toxic positivity What toxic positivity looks like The...

We all know what red flags are, they tend to be universal at any age, but there are some redflags that are specific to our 20s, certain features of a relationship during this decade to look out for even if they don't look concerning at first. On today's episode we talk about the five biggest red flags for relationships in our 20s, including:  Relationships that stop you from having experiences Rel...

The period after graduation can be really difficult, filled with emotions like grief, anxiety, worry about the future, loneliness and nostalgia as we leave the structure and comfort of college and university for the big, confusing real world. In today's episode we break down the psychology of the post-graduation blues, including:  What defines this experience How long does it last?  The loss of fr...

Very few of us ever receive an education on coping. We are taught bad things happen, we are taught pointless math equations, we are taught to grin and bear it, but not effective psychological ways of integrating stressful, painful, frustrating experiences. In this episode, we break down the psychology of coping mechanisms, including:  Problem focused vs. emotion focused coping Maladaptive vs. adap...

Conversations seem like they should be the easiest thing in the world, but we all know that sometimes that is not the case! Mental distractions, running out of things to talk about, feeling a bit off, all some of the roadblocks we face. In today's episode we break down FIVE tips to have better conversations:  The 2:1 question ratio The fast friends protocol  Story topping and bright siding  The 5...

Love bombing has been a hot topic as of recent, but what does it ACTUALLY mean or entail? In today's episode we are breaking down all of the psychology of love bombing, including:  The cultish origin of love bombing The three stages of love bombing  Why people love bomb? The interaction between narcissism and love bombing  Intensity addiction and love bombing  The five questions for determining: i...

Since the beginning of this show I've been super open about my mental health so I thought I'd share an update (the bad, the good and the really good). Let's normalise talking openly and honestly about what we're going through even when its not pretty  or aesthetic. Thank you for all the support! Mental Health support in your area: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/   Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmas...

The thought of having children in our 20s feels like an incredibly adult decision, and is one a lot of us probably don't consider. We want to protect our youth and our freedom a little bit longer, or perhaps have decided we probably will never want children. But whether you want to have children or not, having a clear understanding of your future intentions or choices, your reproductive health, th...

Struggling with our self worth can often impact how deserving we feel of love. This sense that we may be 'unloveable' causes us to miss out on healthy, fulfilling relationships, self sabotage and stay with people who don't deserve us. In today's episode, we discuss:  The origins of why we feel unworthy of love Childhood wounds  Early romantic scripts and teen romance  Repeated rejection and shame...

All of us have insecurities when it comes to our appearance, but what happens when these become obsessive and a point of fixation? In today's episode we break down the psychology and pathology of body dysmorphia, including:  The origins in childhood experiences Family history and influence  The differences in expression between men and women The relationship between body dysmorphia and cosmetic su...

We all want to be happier, but are probably sick of hearing about 'exercising more, eating better, sleeping 8 hours'. In today's episode we break down FIVE evidence based tips that are simple, accessible, actionable and inexpensive for becoming a happier person and the research that proves it:  Focus on platonic love over romantic love Small acts of kindness + how we are spending our money wrong a...

Going 'no contact' after a breakup or relationship breakdown is promoted as one of the best ways to move on from an ex. But why is that the case, and what is the psychology? Is it always that easy? In today's episode we break down the psychology of going 'no contact': why it works, the science, when it's necessary and how to stay committed, even when it feels impossible. Listen now! Our notebooks...

You're not imagining it! The job market is getting harder, especially for 20-somethings who are entering the job market for the first time and trying to find their path. In today's episode we break down the psychological toll that the job hunt takes on us, the constant rejections, unrewarded effort, resentment and frustration. We also discuss why our generation has it tougher and it's not just a y...

Our mother wounds represent the unprocessed trauma and insecurities we pick up from the dynamic we each have with the women who raise us and shape us. In today's episode we break down the psychology of our mother wounds including their origin, their impact and their manifestation, from our body confidence to our competition with other women, our ability to trust and connect, our fear of disapprova...

We often think the secret to not being passive in our lives is to fill up our days, set countless goals, always be striving for progress and productivity. What if we told you the secret was slowing down? In today's episode I am joined by Caroline and Ann Catherine from Girls with Goals as we discuss:  What it beens to be passive vs. active vs. intentional How to create momentum  Why big, long term...

In today's episode we're going old school, back to a good old fashioned chatty sit down episode and life update. I have been recovering from a pretty terrible bout of tonsilitis and it's made me realise...I have a toxic relationship with productivity. Even when I'm sick I can't slow down, and I don't think I'm alone.  We also discuss how I'm finding living alone, a little relationship update and h...