The Podcast At Dawn's House

OMG, we're back! Esther's more or less regained the ability to speak, Aoife's got hamster facts, and Karen's having a sports-induced breakdown. Meanwhile, Jessi's hooked on synchro and Mallory's hooked on self-pity. On today's agenda: getting hyped for the 2226 Winter Spacedeathlympics; Claudia experiments with copyright infringement; Karen falls for a fictional billboard; we are menaced with sea...

OMG, it's almost the end of the year and we still haven't recorded the second half of Jessi's Gold Medal! The poor girl will be freezing by the time we eventually manage to get her out of that pool. In unrelated news, we haven't yet shaken off the curse that may or may not have been placed upon us by an angry fictional eighteenth-century New England farm hand. However, we have worked out a way to...

We'll be back once Esther regains the ability to gab for several hours at a time.

OMG, there's a missing child! And for once, a bunch of middle-school girls actually *are* the best people to solve this, because the adults are busy making casseroles and phoning Kristy to trauma-dump. Meanwhile, Mary Anne makes Jell-O. On today's agenda: cutting-edge computer technology; a mysterious lack of Jessi; a catalogue of OSHA violations; Barratt family revisionism; how to get your kissin...

We haven't gone away, things just got busy over the summer. If only we could send our kids to an illegal daycare to free up some time...

OMG, Mallory's finally found her dream horse! Unfortunately she's also found her nightmare horse, so, win some lose some. Meanwhile, we debate which legendary Irish figure would look best on stilts, and there's some stuff about a blanket. Our theme song is 'The Incredible Shrinking Larry' by Matt Oakley and 'Big Band Jingle A' is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive. If you like our show,...

OMG, Kristy's running for eighth-grade president! Which sounds extremely low-stakes until you compare it to Mallory's unopposed run for seventh-grade secretary. Plus, a delightful glimpse of what might have been, if only Scholastic weren't COWARDS. On today's agenda: Alan Gray's writhing corpse; pizza legalities; Esther questions the nature of her reality; gritty, challenging middle-school theatre...

OMG, there are 2 many babies! Well, it's more like two actual babies and a ton of eggs that the girls and their pretend husbands have imprinted on, because it's the mandatory egg baby episode! Plus, we all learn a valuable lesson about not relying on were-hedgehog erotica for accurate information on natural history topics. On today's agenda: real men dispose of their documents responsibly; Karen g...

OMG, Mallory's found a ghost cat! Or a reincarnation cat? Or possibly just a regular cat? This book definitely comes down on the side of "ghosts are real", but is EXTREMELY vague on what ghosts actually are and whether they can use a litterbox. Also, the Pikes learn about Alzheimer's! Merry Christmas, folks! On today's agenda: a litany of crimes against food; the cool lesbian biker auntie we all w...

OMG, Laine's coming to Stoneybrook! Unfortunately, she's become a huge pain in the ass! And she's way beyond pigs. Thank goodness Kristy's here to be loudly unimpressed. Meanwhile, we plan for extremely specific hypothetical fights among our various children. On today's agenda: Chekhov's bathtub; respecting your friends by blowing up their graves; everyone's favourite sleepover movie; china clown...

OMG, Dawn's got a big date, some homemade sweat skirts, a repertoire of PUA techniques, and a new personality! Also there's some terrible stuff about fat-shaming. Meanwhile, we sample authentic Californian cuisine, learn about amino acids, and make some travel plans we may come to regret. Simpering wistfully into the void; a black hole of dysfunction; alcohol and violence and sexy postcards and ea...

OMG, we're back! After a lengthy hiatus involving international travel, LARPing toddlers and multiple cases of Covid, it's finally time for part 2 of Snowbound!   On today's agenda: we finally hold Belgium accountable; Get Ready With Kristy; southern boys be skiing; how to know when it's true love, Ann-style; the haunting of Bart Taylor; Chewy's double life; Esther says a wrong word; Richard Spier...

OMG, the babysitters are snowbound! And they're very very surprised by this, despite extensive weather forecasts warning them about this exact situation! We had so much to say about this one that we couldn't fit it all in one episode, so this is part 1 of 2. Will the babysitters die of hypothermia and/or embarrassment? Stay tuned! On today's agenda: a tragic lack of mole people; Kristy negs her wa...

OMG, Dawn's gotta beware! There's a snake boy loose in San Francisco! Also, the local kids are manipulating the hell out of the babysitters, and we're here for it. Meanwhile, Stacey is having glamorous adventures and nobody cares. On today's agenda: Bruce Stringbean; Kristy's intervention consultancy; a frankly unreasonable amount of babysitting; extremely convincing California dialect; flagrant A...

OMG, there's a genius in Stoneybrook and it's not Janine! Janine WISHES she was as talented as this kid. Meanwhile, we experimet with a pivot to audio drama. On today's agenda: mandatory Disneyworld representation; unspeakable crimes against God and nature; Chekhov's Toupee; Karen's son makes Esther insecure; leave Mckenzie Clarke alone; Alan Gray surprises and delights us; Uncle Andy's Tar Machin...

OMG, Jessi's got a wish! Because this is an Ann book, everyone's wishes are heavily Disneyworld-focused. Ann also bravely raises some tough questions about tragic childhood illnesses, and then less bravely proceeds to answer exactly none of them. Meanwhile, we brainstorm activities for Aoife's funeral and raise much-needed awareness of Simian Foamy Virus.   On today's agenda: Mal and Jessi read a...

OMG, Mallory's on strike! We were very excited at the title of this one but it turned out to be less about labour activism and more about time management skills. And the value of airing your familial grievances in a thinly-veiled tell-all memoir.   On today's agenda: lawnmower-based punishments; grief counselling for mass extinction events; feels about eels; the Stoneybrook adults have the least c...

OMG, Stacey's accused of being a jewel thief! And more importantly, this leads to financial problems for Claudia and she's out for revenge! Meanwhile, the junior podcaster attempts to eat an entire box of staples. On today's agenda: Stacey cleans house; spicy Pepsi; digestive system DLC; the Ozymandias of footwear; a distressing scenario involving chicken livers; Karen sets the record straight; ob...

OMG, Mary Anne wants Logan back! More importantly, though, she wants an A on her group project and nobody is going to get in the way of that. Not Logan, not Cokie, not a particularly exhausting B-plot. On today's agenda: an unexpected Pete Black redemption arc; Karen has not forgiven Kerry Bruno; Hot Dog Laws; a very specific concept of romance; signs your date is not going well; authentic cat she...

OMG, there's a Baby Parade! Kristy and the gang grapple with the age-old question "What if illegal daycare, but on a poorly-conceived parade float?" It's a difficult one to answer, because Ann categorically does not know what a float is. Meanwhile, we have an idea for a TV procedural that is going to make us all extremely rich. On today's agenda: Scrabble trauma; fun with asbestos; any number of b...

OMG, the girls are going to New York! Again! There's Edwardian ghost children, adaptogen cannoli, and an assortment of generic bystanders. Meanwhile, we have some dating advice for the many teens who presumably listen to this show. On today's agenda: teenage mutant ninja cockroaches; Juilliard Junior High; the Jack Reacher movie casting we all need; the symbolism of roach motels; Mary Anne whiffs...

OMG, Dawn's having a big sleepover! Unfortunately, the sleepover itself is the only part of the book that didn't make us cringe violently. Well, that and the stegosaurus rap. On today's agenda: we are thirsty for Watson and cancelling Richard; a tragic lack of Lusk merch; Mrs Rodowski has no shame; Ann doesn't believe in research and we don't believe in the Colts; hot vegans in your area; Charlott...

OMG, Stacey's finally having an emergency! It's the pancreatic drama we've spent so long waiting for, and we're all very excited. Also, Charlotte Johansson has every disease in the world, and it's Mrs McGill's fault. On today's agenda: Funko Pop Roadshow; celebrity crusts; the world's most depressing train trip; a deep dive into 1990s nursing fashion; Karen airs a long-standing grievance; a deligh...

Hold your horses, folks, the Saddle Club are visiting a dude ranch in West Dakota! Things get real problematic real fast, everyone eats a lot of steak, and there's a blessed lack of romance. Oh, and they cause a death or whatever. On today's itinerary: we issue a much-needed apology; essential cow terminology; the manliest sundae possible; dying a dude's death; some overwhelming rhinophobia; Stevi...

OMG, Logan suuuuucks! He's suddenly performing traditional masculinity and nobody is here for it, except for his hot cousin Olivia. Jenny Prezzioso is in a bad mood. We have a lot of opinions about mashed potatoes. On today's agenda: a basket of cold tongue; Babysitters' Agency bullshit; Mary Anne gets hygge-blocked; the babysitters try to make "acute" happen; the incredible forbearance of the Bru...