The Podcast At Dawn's House

OMG, Claudia got an A on a test and now everyone thinks she cheated! Well, by 'everyone' we mean her teacher, her parents, and Mary Anne, who is just the WORST in this one. Meanwhile, the Pikes are trapped in a hell of their own making, and we're trapped in a hell of Jared Mullray's making. On today's agenda: a bijou spreader event; public sector trophy wives; we all temporarily forget what a kaij...

OMG, Mallory's dad lost his job! The family makes minor economies for two weeks, he becomes a degenerate in casual clothes for a day or two, and then everything is fine again and they don't even have to sell their ten-seater boat. PHEW. Meanwhile, Amanda Delaney has tragic wealth-related problems, and we are joined by a taciturn but lovable guest.   On today's agenda: Aoife pulls off the ultimate...

OMG, Kristy's got a mystery admirer! It's a recipe for romance and/or murder! Also, time is a flat circle, and there's some sports. And some ICONIC Halloween costumes. On today's agenda: eldritch mystery admirer rituals; mandatory minimum scoldings; romantic similes that do not hold up; unfounded accusations of linguistic prescriptivism; the sophisticated New York sewer system; we plan the highlig...

OMG, Dawn's dating an older boy! Luckily, he's an insufferable douche as well as being a creep, so it doesn't last long. Meanwhile, Mary Anne's actually being canonically sensitive for once, and someone's caught Kristy's eye. On today's agenda: false promises of child chaos; toaster oven vindication; hazing in the NICU; the best use for fake teeth; podcaster charitability rankings; important Travi...

OMG, Jessi's got a babysitter! And she's phenomenally unimpressed! Meanwhile, Jackie Rodowsky is buying redacted chemicals at undisclosed locations and we've got big plans. Also, Barbie's on the moon. On today's agenda: the world's tiniest violin; rampant volcanophobia; what to do with 30kg of dry ice; fake spider follies; a perfectly good pancake conversation; passive-aggressive banner design; ma...

OMG, Claudia and Dawn are doing illegal daycare while lost at sea! How did this happen, you ask? It turns out they're massively into sailing, just huge boat-heads, and they always have been, you just didn't notice. Don't worry if you don't know anything about sailing, though – neither does Ann. We got a boat guy in to consult on this book and he was very upset. On today's agenda: massive, shameles...

OMG, there's a mystery in Stoneybrook! Fortunately Stacey's on the case, and it turns out she's psychic maybe? The important thing is, it's totally OK to drag your ailing babysitting charge around an unsupervised building site if there are ghosts involved. Plus, further discourse on microwaved bacon.   On today's agenda: a distressingly competent cover; important Dublin history; we have doubts abo...

OMG, Mary Anne has encountered some boys! We refuse to call it too many boys, because it's really not THAT many boys. It's, like, a slight oversupply of boys. Meanwhile, we concoct elaborate hypothetical situations to psychologically torture each other. Just normal friend stuff, really. On today's agenda: a disappointing lack of Catbus; baffling trampoline retcons; ten boyfriends and a terrifying...

OMG, Claudia might be adopted and has to go on a journey of discovery and learn how to use a microfiche machine! Meanwhile, Emily Michelle is… basically fine, actually. On today's agenda: science disappointments; the grammar skull; award ceremony trauma; fair pricing for witch labour; nobody in this book cares about data protection; phonetics phun phacts; casually swinging by the doctor's office f...

OMG, Dawn And Mary Anne are officially sisters! In a shocking, unforeseen twist, it turns out that sometimes sisters have fights, exactly like last episode! But fear not, Dawn's going to fix everything through the life-changing magic of gaslighting. On today's agenda: HIPAA for podcasters; cutlery-drawer degeneracy; further research in the field of cake science; we use the phrase "passive-aggressi...

OMG, Mary Anne's dad is marrying Dawn's mom and the girls are going to be sisters! In an unrelated development, we learn that sometimes siblings have fights! On today's agenda: completely imaginary cat drama; some baffling allegations; Karen Brewer must be stopped; subtle Laura Ashley product placement; the worst board game ever; a really super salad; conflict resolution through the medium of home...

OMG, the babysitters are going on a winter vacation! Kristy breaks a boy's ankle, we get short-changed on a ghost plot, Stacey wears the face off some guy, and the less said about Jessi's plot the better. On today's agenda: the Mallorys are a hardy folk; all babysitters and no Logan make Mary Anne go something something; we stan the Flugelmeister; great moments in theatrical history, starring Esth...

OMG, Mallory's found a mystery diary and she has a lot of thoughts about it! Stacey's house might be haunted, or not, whatever, and Buddy Barrett's learning about the Magic Of Archie Comics. Meanwhile, Karen's got some bonus content for you all and is real angry at her 12-year-old self. On today's agenda: an MBA in embezzling; how long it actually takes to zone out and narrate Chapter 2; how to tr...

Heavens to Betsy! Old Josiah Crowley promised to leave his fortune to a wide assortment of nice people, then left it to the worst people ever! If only there was a second will that left everything to nice people! Can plucky girl detective Nancy Drew save the day, armed only with advanced boat-repair skills, a vast amount of societal privilege, and a heroic capacity for eavesdropping? Today's hot go...

OMG, Stacey's parents are breaking up! Will she move back to Stoneybrook and rejoin the BSC? It's completely impossible to know. A real nail-biter. The suspense is KILLING us. But more importantly, Alan Gray has an absolutely GLORIOUS hat. On today's agenda: the all-important sophistication hierarchy; how to tell if your baby is a Communist; tfw you can't leave New York because you need to keep an...

OMG, Jessi's babysitting an extremely minor celebrity! Also, she gets a bit freaked out about ballet and wonders if the modelling industry would be a less toxic environment. Meanwhile, we review a disappointing nun cemetery. On today's agenda: Jessi absorbs the lingering Stacey vibes; bizarre vinyl collections we have known; we find out too much about esteemed critic AN Wilson; Janine sources regi...

The girls are going to camp! Stacey's catching every disease going, Jessi and Kristy are prioritising revenge through dance, and Mary Anne is exceptionally ready to cut a bitch. We talk about our own camp experiences, DIY piercing techniques, and the etymology of names, because we're cool like that. On today's agenda: spite-based framing narratives; tfw nobody needs your fish knowledge; Ann helpfu...

OMG, Tigger's missing! Logan's cranky, his brother is sneezing, and everyone else is loving the drama. Meanwhile, Karen has advice for what to do if your cat gets lost, and Esther has advice for every other problem you might face in your life. On today's agenda: debating the optimal amount of phonetics discussion for a BSC podcast; an aggressive poster campaign; the Mancusis are still very much on...

Omg, it's Mother's Day! Kristy's celebrating with illegal daycare, her mom and Watson are celebrating with a very questionable surprise adoption, and everyone's a bit sad about Mary Anne's mother being dead, but not THAT sad. On today's agenda: full-on, balls-to-the-wall babysitting; faces are hard; monkey-level physics; bad gift epiphanies; Aoife the tragic Victorian orphan; the avocado curse; ho...

Dawn goes to California! She has a lovely time! Turns out Californians are laid-back but also very judgy about food and bright colours, and they lack the vicious business instincts of Connecticuters. Meanwhile, we get violently nostalgic for air travel and warm weather. Also, Karen would like it to be known that that one line about the doctor is actually a quote from Hamilton and not just her bein...

Happy Halloween, everyone! Kristy's trapped in a haunted mansion due to underfunded local infrastructure! Also, there's a lot of scrapbooking and a trip to a fabric shop, which makes Esther very happy. On today's agenda: making chaos work for you; reasonably sized haunted mansions; an important PSA about your old cassette tapes; we finally take an editorial position on Dan Quayle; the triumphant r...

The Mancusis have too many pets, and Jessi's babysitting all of them! Meanwhile, Kristy's in beast mode again, Mary Anne's a liability, Dawn's learning to swear, and we contemplate getting a horrible Boomer parrot. Also, we complain extensively about Mrs Braddock but we actually meant Mrs Barrett, so, uh, sorry about that. On today's agenda: Chekhov's fat hamster; things the Queen wears; a hearten...

aka I Think, Therefore I Mall Mallory's babysitting the Arnold twins! But more importantly, earrings earrings earrings earrings and, in conclusion, earrings. On today's agenda: Twins With Threatening Auras; the only Pike rule; David Michael gets into highbrow manga; Mary Anne uses SHOCKING ADULT LANGUAGE; a veritable orgy of earring-giving; Byron gets all the personality traits; they try to make "...

Kristy's Krushers make their first appearance! And so do Bart's Bashers, ugh. Kristy is her best self for once, we refuse to know anything about baseball, Jackie Rodowsky is not particularly disastrous, Watson is the wholesome content we need, and Ann M. Martin is too tired for a B-plot, which at this point is fair enough. On today's agenda: it's all baseball, for the love of God don't @us; Kristy...

aka Do You Want MRSA? Because That's How You Get MRSA Claudia babysits local demon-child Betsy Sobak, and gets a broken leg for her trouble, so the BSC do the obvious thing and set out to demolish Betsy psychologically. There's no B-plot, unless you count Kristy's sudden obsession with wearing food. Karen hallucinates a version of this book where everyone behaves sensibly and it's over by chapter...