The Pleasure Priority

We have all heard of trauma healing and nervous system healing and how important it is, but what does it actually do? How does this healing affect your life? In this episode, Amber talks through the experience of living in a regulated nervous system and the noticeable differences from operating in a dysregulated system. She juxtaposes the differences in herself, those around her, and her clients....

In this episode, Amber releases her live masterclass: Decolonize your Pleasure. In it she weaves her own story and experience in to explain how we are all colonized in ways we may not even realize and how that colonization effects what we believe we can want, have, and how we live our lives. She goes over what colonization is, how you can identify it in yourself, and how you can decolonize your pl...

This week I'm back with the OG homie g - Hailey Thomas, and we're talking how romance isn't just for the hopeless, but for the whole. After a quick conversation on the heels of watching an old Esther Perel webinar, Hailey and I decided to come to the podcast and hit record.  We're talking all about romanticizing your humanity and how the need to feel joy and satisfaction is required for a bal...

We all experience that deja vu feeling in our healing journeys - the "haven't I learned this already!" when we just seem to keep having to exercise that same muscle group. And sometimes we even get onto ourselves about not doing it 'right' or not learning the universal lesson well enough the first time. But that's not how it works! We are sent different iterations of our lessons not as punishment...

This week we have Carlos DelaPlaya, the Self Expression Coach with us and we're talking the hero's journey. How we must go through the pain, the doubt, the muck in order to have the audacity to become the hero's in our own story. As we are both big anime fans, we use the medium to relate these character stories to real life lessons. In this episode we're talking about that voice in your head that...

In this episode, Amber gives an update on what's been going on in her dating life since her divorce. She talks about how she's developed a romantic friendship, what that even is, and the learning and healing she's experienced as a result of it that has paid dividends across multiple aspects of her life.  PREVIOUS EPISODES MENTIONED Ep. 5 - Why did I get married? Ep. 6 - Why did I get divorced...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: what are you waiting for? You have everything you need to go after what you want, and if you don't have it, you have the means to realize it or attain it. We confuse what we need with what we would like or what would be nice to have in our jou...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: how well do you trust yourself? If you've ever uttered the words "I can't trust myself" or have questioned the trust you have for yourself, this episode is for you. Our inner knowing is our guide, it's how our ancestors have survived and made...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: have you celebrated today? Celebrations are key to integration. When you celebrate yourself and the world around you for the big and the small things, you create more and more to celebrate. It's the gift that keeps on giving! In this epis...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: what's the impact you want to leave? When we think about pleasure, it can be easy to get caught up in the here and now without really thinking about the long term. When we think about the impact we want to leave in all areas of our life,...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: who do you want to be? This episode is all about connecting with the version of yourself you desire to become and embodying them now. You don't have to wait to reach the goal, get the partner, or until your bank account has the 'right' am...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: When's the last time you've done something for yourself? It's so easy to get caught up in the spin cycle of life, especially in a society hyper focused on productivity, success, and external validation. We can get so far away from ou...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: do you have the desire to "fix" someone else? No matter how bad we want to, we can't control someone else, their behavior, or how they show up in the world. However, we can reflect on what they trigger in us so that we can use that unders...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: are you avoiding your feelings? You probably are, as most of us were taught to "stop crying", "don't let them see you sweat", "put on a smile", etc. but most of us weren't taught to get familiar with our feelings and learn how to process...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: what can you decide ahead of time? Decision making is powerful, almost magical. When you decide, you create clarity and direction for yourself and others, you reclaim the brain space from pondering, going back and forth on something, or j...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: where are you telling yourself no when you really wanna say yes? I already know what you're thinking - "but you can't just say yes to everything you want". Not gonna argue with you, but today I'm breaking down the difference between insta...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: what are you making your productivity mean about you? Capitalism has taught us the false narrative that our worth in this world is tied to what we put out and do in it. We then compound our suffering by playing into that narrative and bel...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: where are you not acknowledging your choice? When we believe we don't have a choice, we end up believing we don't have any power or control. Then we act like our back is against the wall and we make decisions from a place of survival and...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: are you having high quality sex? All sexual experiences are not created equal! However, we get to create the standards for the experiences we desire. In this episode, I highlight a few of my markers for high quality sex and how you can un...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: how can you have your own back? I break down what having your own back even means and how it's crucial to prioritizing your pleasure and actually enjoying all the amazing things you create. I teach you that having your own back is a decision t...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: where are you downplaying yourself? Especially when we are unlearning, we can tend to overlook the areas we already are good at or like about ourselves and start to view them differently. For example, you take pride in your appearance but begi...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: what would make it more fun? We can get in the habit of believing that some things just aren't fun and that's the way it is. We stop trying to play, explore, and learn new ways to do the same things and learn new ways to relate to ourselves. H...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask, well really answer - how to: for the recovering people pleasers.  Many of us are realizing what people pleasing is, how we've taken part in it, and how important reclaiming the authority of our pleasure is to our mental health. So I wante...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: where are you doing where you could be being? I'm sure you've heard it before, but we are human beings, not human doings. Our job here is to explore and experience, not to constantly do, pursue and achieve.   There is a time and plac...

In this episode of Pleasure Starters, a podcast miniseries inviting you to tangibly create more pleasure in your life through pondering my questions, I ask: why are you apologizing when you're not sorry? Especially for those socialized as women, and even more for women of color, we are taught to apologize for any and everything we do that doesn't meet the standard of societal expectations. Since t...