The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

I want to share something a friend sent me. We've known each other for sixteen years now, and she wrote that I would have compliments injected into my veins if I could. I blushed reading it, because that has not always been true for me. There was a version of me that deflected every compliment, minimized it, denied it, said something like "oh, I'm just doing my job." That version had desire, but i...

You have a very full life, yet a very empty feeling. You're competent. You're reliable. You're the person everyone calls. And somewhere underneath all of the planning, the executing, the managing, the performing, you've lost your spark, your desire, your turn-on. When I sit across from a woman and ask what she does for fun, what turns you on, what she desires, a lot of times she hasn't thought abo...

2 spots remain for private coachin g.  Apply HERE I had a call with a private coaching client the other day, and she had no libido. We've been here before. We worked together for years, and she was back at a point with no desire. One thing I had to impress upon her: you do not need to want sex to start wanting sex. That's the part no one is talking to us high-achieving women about, and it keeps us...

TRIGGER WARNING Most women who come to me with low libido, disconnection from their bodies, and no desire for intimacy are carrying something they have never said out loud. Childhood sexual assault. Adult assault. A relationship that slowly stripped them of themselves. A body that checked out because it knew something was wrong before their mind would let them admit it. Gwen Levey is a viral Nashv...

What actually has to exist before initiation means anything, and why most of what we have been taught about desire skips the most important step entirely. The three conditions of safety in a pleasure-centered relationship: physiological safety, clean and continuous consent, and autonomy over your own pleasure. What happens in your nervous system when those conditions are missing? Why do women go n...

Something is missing. You can't quite put your finger on it. You have so much to be grateful for, and yet you feel lonely, undesired, and like you're going through the motions. The sex is a checkbox sex. The texts are efficient, not flirtatious. Nobody's planning dates anymore. And the same fights keep happening on repeat, no matter how hard you try. I'm breaking down one of the biggest reasons hi...

If you have checked every box, the career, the family, the systems, the health protocols, and you are still waking up exhausted, still carrying the mental load, still the one tracking everything for everyone, this episode is going to name something you have been living but couldn't find the words for. Chanie Wilschanski is a leadership consultant, author, and the woman behind This Can't Be Normal:...

Three clients in two weeks. Same conversation each time.  And each time they heard it, it took their breath away. You are overcompensating for a problem that you didn't create. And not only that, it's gonna cost you your sleep, your health, your pleasure. There's an awakening happening right now, and our bodies are not letting us fake it anymore. Not in career, not in the bedroom, not in relations...

We were taught how to avoid pregnancy and how to avoid STDs. That was it. Nobody taught us about pleasure, desire, or what intimacy is actually supposed to feel like. Nobody taught us what coercion looks like inside a long-term relationship, or that consent is something ongoing and not something you say once and forfeit forever. Nobody told us that the clitoris is literally a pleasure organ, the o...

You have been told it is low libido. Maybe HSDD. Maybe perimenopause or a hormone problem. But what if your body is working perfectly? What if it is doing exactly what it is designed to do, and the system is the one that is failing you? This is a reintroduction to The Pleasure Principles and to the work. Over the last decade of helping hundreds of women reconnect to their relationships and heal th...

Most of us are just surviving. Getting through the day. And we know that is not a condition for great sex, intimacy, and pleasure. Kayla Moore is a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified sex therapist, and feminine liberation coach who left the clinical model for the same reason so many of us hit a wall. The system wasn't built to support humans, and trying to treat anxiety, depression,...

JOIN:  HOLD YOUR CENTER: For Women Who Are Done Losing Themselves to Overfunctioning April 29th, 2026 You have asked him to do it 17 times. It is still not done. That is not forgetfulness. That is not ADHD. That is weaponized incompetence, and it is the number one hidden brake on female desire that no one is naming correctly. Weaponized incompetence is when a person performs helplessly in a specif...

JOIN: HOLD YOUR CENTER: For Women Who Are Done Losing Themselves to Overfunctioning April 29th, 2026 The same traits that make you exceptional at your career make you exquisitely sensitive to context in sex and relationships. You do not have low desire. You are not inherently bad at relationships. As a high achiever, you are hypervigilant, not high maintenance. Libido is not a fixed biological dri...

Something very interesting is happening right now. The women I work with are splitting into two camps. One group is more connected than ever, having better sex than ever. The other group is burning it all down, choosing separation, choosing themselves. Women with super traits do not have a lower capacity for desire. We have a higher sensitivity to everything surrounding it. We are exceptional at t...

Are you the higher drive partner, wondering why your husband never wants sex as much as you do? Do you feel rejected, undesirable, or like something is wrong with you? You are not broken, and you are not alone. I am answering your most pressing questions about mismatched libidos, how to close the desire gap in your relationship, the best vibrators for women's pleasure, and why a self-pleasure prac...

If you are honest with yourself, most high-functioning women already know the answer. Needs are the basics, the foundation. But desire is different. It is where intimacy, connection, and pleasure actually live, and it is the first thing to go when you are overfunctioning. This is what I see every day. Women who are successful, capable, and holding everything together, but feel disconnected in thei...

Pelvic health physiotherapy is something many women still do not even know exists. If you are having issues with peeing, pooping, pelvic pain, pressure in the pelvis, constipation, leaking urine, pain with sex, or difficulty reaching orgasm, there is help available. I'm joined by pelvic health physiotherapist Kristen Parise, owner of Blueberry Therapy Pelvic Health and Pediatrics. Kristen has been...

You are lying there, maybe alone, maybe next to someone, and still feeling miles apart. You go to that same place of dissociation during sex. The spark, that erotic aliveness, is nowhere to be found. You have done everything right, checked all the boxes, excelled in so many areas, and now you are asking, what is wrong with me? Am I broken? Low libido, low desire, difficulty getting aroused or stay...

Chellie Carlson is a transformational wardrobe stylist, and this conversation goes way deeper than clothes. After leaving an abusive relationship, I had zero body confidence. Zero idea what to wear. I did not know what clothes I liked. I did not know what was acceptable. I went from enjoying getting dressed and going to work every day to standing in my closet feeling lost. Chellie works with women...

Pleasure was never just about sex. It has always been about power. What is happening inside women's bodies, inside heterosexual relationships, and inside healthcare systems is not separate from what is happening culturally and globally. These dynamics mirror each other. The same power structures that silence women medically also shut down desire, libido, vitality, and connection in relationships....

Many high-functioning women are successful in their careers and still struggle with intimacy, desire, and connection in their relationships. They feel distant, numb, over-responsible, and exhausted despite doing everything right. When you have super traits, responsibility, empathy, loyalty, and competence, you often become the over-functioner in relationships. You manage emotions. You do the invis...

Most women are not fully enjoying the sex they are having. Low desire, arousal issues, pain with sex, numbness, difficulty reaching orgasm, and mismatched libidos are common, yet women are taught to blame themselves for them. We are told it is a hormone failure, a personality flaw, a lack of effort, or something we should accept as we age. We try harder. And when effort fails, shame fills the gap....

Women with super traits know how to get shit done. They are hardworking, loyal, independent, and high-achieving. Some want better sex and a deeper connection and cannot figure out why it feels so hard. Others say they don't care about sex anymore, but what they're really saying is I don't feel met. I don't feel safe enough to erotically open. Desire didn't disappear. Effort replaced it. Survival c...

You do not lose desire. For women with super traits, desire does not disappear. It goes offline when you override yourself one too many times, and your body adapts because it knows it is not safe. We are taught that desire fades slowly. That it is stress, hormones, perimenopause, being busy, or having too much on your plate. In my clinical and coaching work, I see the opposite. Desire shuts down a...

Over the Christmas break, I had several private clients reach out, and what I noticed was that the transformations had not been completed. The holidays brought up ruptures, disappointments, and old patterns at a time when most women were already running on fumes. The holidays come with extra expectations and very little capacity. Many women even get sick once their bodies finally feel safe enough...