The Patrauma Party - Heal from trauma, improve self worth, and learn to love yourself, dammit

NBD just going through life feeling like you're always the problem because you weren't treated like you were good enough to be heard, seen, respected, or loved as a kid! In this episode, psychotherapist Kelly Lewis joins me for a deep dive: neglect, anxious attachment, conditional love, perfectionism, and having to earn approval—and how all of them are related to not feeling good enough. Plus we l...

Are you feeling like you're always on the brink of a panic attack while a government of racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic oligarchs squeezes every last ounce of democracy out of our country? Then this one's for you. If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠ here. Want to connect? Find me here: ⁠Instagram⁠ ⁠ TikTok⁠ Email: patraumaparty...

Healing after a breakup suucckkks—the grief, the anger, the fear. In this episode, I sit down with somatic practioner Laurie James to talk about The 4 E's (we especially love "expel"), self-compassion post-breakup, and even breakups with friends and family. If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠ here. Want to connect? Find me here: ⁠ Ins...

A lot of families don't take sibling abuse seriously—behavior they would never accept from a bully at school, they completely gloss over when it's happening at home. How do we heal from that trauma? And when it continues into adulthood, can we even mend the relationship with our sibling? In this episode, I coach Jackie through these questions, letting go of what isn't working so that she can recla...

Does your internal monologue ever sound like, "I'll never get better," "I'll never have the life I want," "I'll never fall in love"? Then this one's for you, baby! Learned helplessness is when we learn (often in abusive households growing up) that we don't have any control over the harm being done to us, so we just stop trying. We basically learn to be helpless. In this episode, somatic marriage a...

After a sexual assault, you often spiral into a hole you feel you'll never come out of. In this episode, Rima writes in to ask for help with the feeling that she will be never the person she was before she was assaulted. For clarity's sake, the phrase "sexual assault" is an umbrella term that applies to many experiences, including but not limited to rape. If you or someone you know has been sexual...

So much of what we think about ourselves and the world is A. not helpful, and B. operating on automatic without our even knowing about it. If we think we're not good enough, not worthy of love, always going to be broke, never going to feel happy again, etc. etc., we're letting self-defeating beliefs run the show of our lives. In this episode, I'm joined by therapist and author Judith Belmont to ta...

People keep telling Maggie to write gratitude lists to help her while she's struggling emotionally. But every time she tries to do it, she feels worse and sometimes even cries, which makes her feel like there's something wrong with her. Is there a part of her that's resisting happiness? or is there a problem with gratitude? If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot...

Anyone else feel like they're not good enough for people to stand up for them? Anyone else get a hit of unworthiness when people don't have your back? In this episode, LCSW Sydney Linden joins to talk about the different ways it can look to go unprotected in childhood, what core beliefs it creates for us in adulthood, and what it looks like to heal. If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, bir...

Chloe's father is a malignant narcissist, but now that he's dying, she's deeply wrestling with her decision to go no-contact. How can she truly be a loving, forgiving person if she refuses to be in contact with him? In this episode, we talk about healing the wounds of being in relationship with a narcissistic parent and redefining what "love" means when it's time to go no-contact. If you'd like a...

We think of empathy as always being a good thing, but like everything else, too much of a good thing can be toxic. I call "toxic empathy" (not a clinical term, BTW, just my term), the phenomenon that occurs when we empathize with others to the point that we can't feel our *own* feelings. We can't feel anger when people hurt us, or we order a cocktail we don't want because our friend doesn't want t...

Teal grew up being super parentified by her addicted mother. The house was dirty, there wasn't food, her mom was at the bars, and Teal was in charge of her siblings. In this episode, we dig into the self-limiting beliefs around self-worth that resulted from Teal's struggle (the people pleasing, resentments, and lack of self-knowing) and look at what it means to heal. If you'd like a one-on-one coa...

A lack of encouragement in childhood leaves a deep mark on us—it can impact our sense of self-worth, of safety, of resiliance—you name it. Sometimes it's easy to see that we weren't encouraged, but for many of us, we don't even realize that it's at the root of many of our struggles. In this episode, I welcome writer and therapist Solasta McIntyre back to the show to talk us through how a lack of e...

There are so many ways to approach healing the mother wound, and what works for one person won't necessarily work for someone else. That's why I was SOOOO excited to have hilarious comedian, internet star, badass feminist, daily meditator, mental health advocate, and sweet baby angel Toni Nagy on the show to talk about what her process has looked like in working through the mother wound (plus we g...

Never heard of limerence? You know that feeling when you don't know if someone's into you, but you can't stop thinking about it, you get stuck in daydreams about them, and you're just waiting with bated breath for the next time they talk to you? It's that feeling of romantic obsession that keeps you stuck on people who don't reciprocate, and turns out—it's a trauma response. In this episode, clini...

Lucy writes in about being "discarded" by her ex-boyfriend who struggles with addiction. She wants to figure out why he's acting this way—she wants it to make sense. How do we navigate relationships like these? If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠ here. Want to connect? Find me here: ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠ Email: patraumapar...

It's not something you can slap a dinner party on and call it good. Chronic loneliness is often carried into adulthood from childhood—usually due to neglect. In this episode, I talk to psychotherapist Zara Neukom about how chronic loneliness starts, how it impacts our lives, and what it can look like to change from a lens of hyper self-reliance to one of mutual support. If you'd like a one-on-one...

Many of us have been cheated on—but also, many of us had parents who cheated. In this episode, Robin writes in to share the trauma she experienced as a child around her dad's cheating, and the way it impacts her still as an adult. We talk about what our inner child needs in those moments, why our worthiness gets tanked when we're cheated on, and why learning that a partner is cheating is actually...

You know that feeling of being in trouble that makes you want to throw up? sob? jump out of your skin? It's really common, but especially when you grew up around dysregulated adults or were abused as a kid. It's not just emotionally exhausting, it also sends your body into emergency mode and can cause all kinds of illnesses (!!!). In this episode, somatic practitioner Veronica Rottman talks us thr...

After getting rejected from countless job interviews, Aaron started believing he was a failure, stuck in a rut that would never change. In this episode, we dig through the past to find and heal old beliefs, while looking for new ways of relating to the pain of rejection and lack of control. If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠ here. Wa...

As a recovering people-pleaser, I can ONE HUNDRED PERCENT attest to the fact that we are motivated by fear. It's a survival tactic that tons of us learned to navigate abusive or chaotic childhoods. But the problem is that it doesn't end in childhood—we take people-pleasing into our friendships, our sex lives, our living situations, our professional spheres—literally everywhere. In this episode, I...

After her painful, messy divorce, Erika is isolating from her friends. She doesn't want to be a burden on them or fail in her role as the "reliable" one. Together, we process the underlying emotions of feeling unchosen, unwanted, and unworthy. If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠ here. Want to connect? Find me here: ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠...

We're back! My hiatus has come to an end, and I'm jumping back in with psychotherapist and certified grief specialist Courtney Carver to talk about resilience—my brain's least favorite activity! (Big fan of despair, loves it). We get into why it's so important, what it looks like, and how TF we do it. PS! There's a vulnerable moment in this epi that I almost cut out, but I decided to keep it becau...

Just popping in to say what's up and give some updates. ALSO sharing some brief thoughts about everyone's favorite and least icky topic: shame. Feels like I left a long message into a friend's voicemail TBH—that's where we're at rn! More soon. x If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠ here. Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email: patra...

She's taking a break! This is my final epi before I head out for a few months (back in March), and I'm leaving you with some thoughts on resilience for your new year. May you wear something slutty as the ball drops, and I'll see you in 2024. If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠ here. Want to connect? Find me here: ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...