The Patrauma Party - Heal from trauma, improve self worth, and learn to love yourself, dammit

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠ here . Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com Find us on: Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠ The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one loc...

Most of us struggle with decisions to some degree, but for those of us who grew up in trauma, decisions can feel like life or death in adulthood. How do I know for a fact how this will turn out? What if people get mad at me? What if I make the wrong choice and everything falls apart? (Just a fun sh*t storm of anxiety!) In this episode, therapist Kiana Joyner joins me to talk about working through...

Self-doubt can plague us, especially when we come from trauma and abuse. We don't put ourselves out there for the jobs we want, the friendships we're drawn to, the crushes we have. It can be so frustrating (!!!!). But what if we could put some distance between us and that self-doubt? What if we could poke holes in the lies it tells us? What if we could learn more about what's behind it? Hop in, hu...

Not feeling chosen by your caregivers is such a painful experience that it gets tucked into our subconscious, where it thrives without us even knowing! It's just hanging out in the shadows of our minds, making (usually not great) decisions for us and making us feel sad as hell. In this episode, we get into the impact of not being chosen in childhood—how it shows up in relationships, why it can be...

Maybe we're constantly dieting or abstaining from eating, maybe we're obsessively counting calories or working out, maybe we're spending crazy amounts of money on anti-aging procedures or products, or maybe we're just looking in the mirror and talking mad sh*t to ourselves. In this episode, I welcome therapist Gina Gratza to the show to talk through what's at the core of criticizing our bodies (hi...

Everyone talks about authenticity, and there's even a lot of shame for not "being real." But when you come from abuse and/or emotionally immature parents, it's actually really complicated to know how to be authentic. People-pleasing, fawning, emotional shutdown, freeze, and other trauma responses (often results of CPTSD) prevent us from even knowing how we feel, much less being able to express it....

Unsafe people aren't going to walk up to you and tell you they're unsafe. But there are lots of signs if you know what to look for. Unfortunately, many of us had that internal alarm system groomed out of us as kids so that we could survive our unsafe parents and caregivers, and we literally don't know what to look for. Until now. TW: This episode talks about acts of violence ICE has enacted on Ame...

When we're taught that "love" is conditional on outside approval, when we're taught to fear authority rather than stand in our personal power, when we're expected to provide unwavering loyalty and praise, even at our own expense—we come into adulthood deeply emotionally debilitated. Emotionally immature parents and caregivers leave lasting wounds on their children—a fear of rejection and abandonme...

It's my first epi of 2026! And we're getting into depression. Depressive episodes are so painful. You might think you'll never bounce back, and even worse, you might feel like you have to hide how sad you are so people won't reject you. In this episode, I spill the tea on my Christmas depressive episode and get into what I USED to do, what I did differently this time, and what I learned in the pro...

Our conversation on attachment styles continues! This week, we're getting into disorganized attachment style, aka fearful avoidant. One of the reasons this style is so hard to understand is that it's rooted in contradictory desires—wanting something while simultaneously fearing it. It can be as confusing for the people with this attachment style as it is for the people in relationship with them. H...

How many people are walking around performing success—achieving, following the "rules," doing everything that's "supposed" to make you happy on paper, only to find themselves depressed, disconnected, and dissatisfied? Why do we do this? What's at the root of it? And how do we reroute our lives? In this episode, Danielle Mcgeough , professor, speaker, and transformation strategist, joins me to dig...

This is a continuation of the attachment style series! So many of us are avoidant *and don't even know it.* We avoid conflict, people please, shut down, and/or chronically fail to voice our needs in relationships (yes! this is what a fear of intimacy looks like!). So how do we go from avoidant attachment to a healthier, more secure attachment? In this episode, Dr. Diane Mueller , ND, DAOM, LAc, jo...

Have you heard about reactive defense, AKA reactive abuse? This is super important to know about if you've been in relationships with abusers (your family counts!), especially when narcissistic abuse is at play and YES, even chronic defensiveness. We're getting clear on what this looks like and how to get off the hamster wheel so we feel focused, clear, and powerful and not like we're about to los...

It's the 3rd epi in my people-pleasing series! I have been DYING to know what human design really is, how it works, and if it can help us with people pleasing. Turns out, not only can it help, it can give you a map that shows exactly where your people pleasing started, how it works, and how you heal it. Human design expert and confidence coach Kelly Hughes joins me to show us the way. Want to...

This is episode 2 in my people-pleasing deep-dive! One of our biggest fears as people-pleasers is speaking up for ourselves during conflict—it can literally make us feel like we're going to pass out from anxiety! So how do we move from the knee-jerk "Sounds good, no worries!" to a thoughtful, authentic: "Actually, here's what I need..."? In this epi, psychologist, author, relationship expert, and...

It's my first in a series on people pleasing! We're looking at it from all angles, starting with people-pleasing at work. We do it to stay safe, even to get ahead in our careers—but it's actually sabotaging our success! The problem is, half the time, we don't even know we're doing it, and the other half, we've people pleased before we even have a chance to think about what we're saying (soooo frus...

How do you know when it's time to end a friendship, or any relationship for that matter? How do you know when you're just being "dramatic," like your family of origin always told you you were, and when you're self-advocating and standing in your power? How do you balance healthy boundaries with healthy compassion, especially when a person's toxicity is coming from being abused themselves? In this...

We've all been there—trying to figure out the exact right way to phrase the text so we sound cool and aloof when actually we've been crying for the last two hours. Anxious attachment style can suuuckkkkk so bad because it's rooted in deep feelings of not being good enough, not trusting people, and not loving ourselves. But what if I told you there's nothing wrong with YOU? Not just to hype you up...

Being anxiously attached in a relationship is hard enough, but anxiously attached during a breakup?? The feelings of abandonment, the hopelessness, the sense that you'll never get your life back—it can be a real codependent spiral. In this episode, we dive into what the breakup process can look like for anxiously attached folks, what lies we tell ourselves in those dark moments, and what we need t...

A lot of times, we think the antidote to burnout is a nap or a vacay (which, no shade, we love a vacay) but a lot of us are struggling with burnout from our own—often *subconscious*—repeated behaviors like perfectionism, overachieving (in an attempt to feel worthy or valid), people pleasing, or not setting appropriate boundaries. AKA, the call is coming from inside the house. In this episode, I we...

Do you ever get mad at yourself because you didn't hold a boundary? Are you SO over what a people pleaser you can be? Has anyone ever told you you need to respect yourself like they were talking to kindergartener and you STILL, to this day, carry that shame around with you? This is your epi, hunny. We're getting into the connection between people pleasing, boundaries, and self respect, and why sel...

Real talk—narcissistic mothers unleash a reign of terror over their kids, and for MANY of us, we don't even realize it for years and years! We may even adore, worship, and endlessly praise our mothers (which is what many narcissistic mothers groom their children to do BTW). The way it impacts our self-worth and ability to set boundaries is WILD. In this epi, I welcome coach and host of the Daughte...

Literally romantic obsession SUCKS. The longing is so intense, and there's no way to satiate it. In this epi, we get into how your unmet childhood needs are feeding your limerence, how we work with them, and why self-love is both the key AND just the beginning. Birth Chart Reading Giveaway Rules! Leave me a rating and review, screenshot it, post it on your Insta story, and tag me: @thepatraumapart...

Anxiety isn't just about your thoughts, it's about whether or not you see *YOURSELF* as capable enough to handle life (OOF!). In this episode, I get into this and SO much more with anxiety expert Dr. Stephanie Lopez (you can check out her FREE training for ditching anxiety here ). If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠ here. Want to conn...

In this epi, we're getting into the symptoms of growing up without a parent who supported and hyped you up or even hugged you—it can show up allll over your life—AND we're getting into how we heal. (Don't worry—it's a huge heartache, but we're starting small.) If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠ here. Want to connect? Find me here: ⁠I...