The Overwhelmed Brain

A listener calls me out and tells me, "You couldn't take a couple minutes to answer me personally?" I read her message on the air and respond to it. I always do my best to act from a place of integrity... did I mess up? Also, I received an email from someone in a relationship that may not work out. She wants to know how to balance her own personal growth with the work she's done in her relationshi...

Kids get overwhelmed brains too. After hearing from a few kids that listen to the show, I decided to dedicate an episode talking about the hardships that kids face. From school and getting made fun of to home and some of the dysfunctions that can be present there. Kids have it tough, because the whole world is new and they are developing experience on the fly. Whereas adults already have so much e...

Are you annoyed by affirmations? It's how I start off every show. I take a few minutes to explain why that is. Also I talk about positive thinking and bridging the gap between emotions and reason. Next when you fear honoring yourself, what can you do? It's great advice to tell someone: "Just honor your boundaries then you can start creating the life you want!" Which of course is something I say al...

When we talk to ourselves, we really are communicating with another part of ourselves, a deeper subconscious part that has within it a deeper understanding of what really motivates us in life. Sometimes we don't want to communicate with a part of ourselves that feels the pain, but if we don't, that part feels neglected, lonely, hurt and rejected and more. Also, is there a path out of generalized o...

Why do we fall off course so easily? When you prioritize tasks that take your time away from the things you want to accomplish, you fall back farther and farther until you are no longer making progress. In fact, you might even end up going backwards. Sometimes you are not in alignment with a bigger vision for yourself. The reason is because you might actually have a value hidden under the surface...

Are all of your needs met? Do you know why you make the decisions you do? Our needs motivate our behavior. If you respond to life's events from a low level of survival, it'll be more difficult to succeed in a loving relationship or keep steady employment or even gain a level of self-esteem and confidence. Let alone being able to pursue your hobby and passions. When you can start responding to the...

Being in abusive relationship of any kind, especially where you have a dependency on the abuser for one reason or another leaves you in a tough spot. Can you leave and still be okay, or are you so dependent that leaving will put you in a worse situation? This is a tough position to be in so what do you do? Also, sometimes you reach the limits of practicality and have to explore deeper, alternative...

Codependence is when two or more people fulfill a need for each other that strengthens a dysfunction between them. You usually see this kind of thing between a helper / people-pleaser and a drug addict or an alcoholic. Of course, even someone who is just needy or desperate for attention can be the second half of a codependent relationship. In either case, there is the dysfunction of one person con...

Have you ever felt alone in your struggles? It's hard to imagine anyone else dealing with the same thing. Yet, there are many. And I receive a lot of messages from people that reinforce that. How does that help you? There might be something bigger at play here. Also, I talk about a message I received from someone who feels very alone in her relationship. Her partner just doesn't seem to want to in...

I watched a recent Ted Talk with Dr. Judson Brewer who teaches mindfulness to cure addictions. I was surprised to learn that I actually did the process he talks about to cure my addiction to sugar many years ago. I share that story and what you can do to use mindfulness to help you feel better in almost any situation, whether it's a craving or a negative emotion. For the Ask Paul segment, I read a...

I got nervous when I was invited to speak on a world record breaking authority summit... but I did it anyway. But why was I nervous? I host a show that thousands listen to every week, so why is it different? When there's no Edit button, things get real. But that's a good thing because when you're absolutely real, even when you're nervous, you end submitting to the person you really are. If you're...

It's an Ask Paul marathon! First, I'll talk about how bullies love when you react negatively and what to do to squash the energy behind their bullying. This is from a letter from a kid who got bullied in school and was humiliated to the point where he didn't want to go back. Adopting a "who cares?" attitude can be very helpful in situations like this! Second, I talk about someone with an irrationa...

The quest for happiness and staying positive is fraught with sadness and negativity, yet the existence of those things is exactly what it takes to experience the totality of a fulfilling life. You can't always be happy, and you wouldn't even know what happiness is if you didn't have the contrast of sadness. At the same time, if your life is full of hardship and pain, maybe happiness never arrives....

Getting into an abusive relationship is a quick path to a horrible future. Getting into a great relationship however can seem like the best thing that ever happened... unless they cheat, then it feels like an abusive relationship, sometimes. If you decide to stay in a relationship where you know infidelity is happening, are you being abused or are you abusing yourself? There's a mindset that kicks...

Metaphysical malpractice was a term I was unfamiliar with until a friend of mine mentioned to me how a few metaphysical teachers were incongruent in their teachings. They say and teach one thing, but behave an entirely different way in their personal lives. I have some comments on that I share in today's episode. In Ask Paul, I answer an email from someone who is having trouble keeping her cool at...

Childhood is one of those times that many of us wanted to enjoy, but simply couldn't. Some of us had to suffer because of a dysfunctional upbringing, which caused us to create false beliefs about the world when we turned into adults. These beliefs ruined jobs and relationships, and caused us to question our lives by saying, "Is this all there is? Is this all I have to look forward to for the rest...

There's a reason we run into obstacles that stop us from getting what we want in life, and that has to do with what we are aligned with most at a deeper, unconscious level. When we are out of alignment with that, we fall off course and things fall apart. Today I give you a quote, well really a question, to stick on your refrigerator, cubicle wall, bathroom mirror and everywhere else you'll see it...

Henrik Ibsen said that "Home life ceases to be free and beautiful as soon as it is founded on borrowing and debt." When I was in my first long-term relationship, I wanted to get married, and fortunately, so did she! However, I said we'll get married as soon as we're both out of debt. The next 6 years of being engaged and not being married really made it clear what my priorities were in love, money...

If you're a "yes person", you find yourself saying "Yes" to others. However, what you're really doing is saying "No" to yourself. Doing this causes you to reach burn out after a number of years. You get jaded by friends and family taking advantage of your "generosity", all because you're too nice to say no. There's a way out of this, and it will take baby steps, but it's time to gain some empowerm...

There are jerks in our lives, at least that's what we tend to call them sometimes, that just never stop getting on our nerves. We hope they act differently, but they never change their ways. Is there anything we can do? Well, we can open our hearts and see what happens. Scary thought! And why would we want to open our hearts to someone who acts so badly toward us? Find out in this episode. Also, i...

How can you live with chronic pain? How do you get through the suffering? Is there a path to freedom or is it a never-ending event that will plague you for the rest of your life? Also, in the Ask Paul segment, I receive a letter from a gay man in his 40s suffering from a deep depression who cannot get a good night's sleep and hasn't "come out" to show the world the way he truly wants to live and w...

We all have a snapping snapping point and it can change our world when it happens. I remember the first time I stood up for myself. I was 10. We had just finished wrestling, as boys tend to do, and I was done... but he wasn't. I sat at the table, tired and really not interested in wrestling anymore. And he kept saying, "Come on, let's wrestle some more." I was like, "Nope, I'm done. Too tired, don...

Brene Brown said it so eloquently: "Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others."Many years ago, I remember having to disappoint my bosses during my one year anniversary. They brought me in for my evaluation, gave me a promotion, praised me for the amazing work I'd been doing over the past year, were excited about where I was going...

So much of our emotional pain that doesn't get expressed can turn into actual physical ailments that won't go away until those emotions are expressed and released. Sometimes the damage can be permanent and we'll need to seek medical attention, and other times the healing starts right away. One thing for sure, you start healing when you start expressing. In today's Ask Paul segment, a woman is stil...

With bombings, shootings and other terrorism going on, how can you find peace and see the world as a better place. The news sensationalizes the bad but never glorifies the good. It's okay to feel okay, and I'll tell you why in this episode. Also, I receive a listener email that talks about wanting to save her relationship after a big move. She moved away, then he moved down to be with her, then th...