The Nonsense Burger

Send us Fan Mail What?!  A Saturday episode?!  Yep.  That's what happens when you forget to pump out your second show of the week, meant for Thursday.  We had to let this one ferment to produce a fine vintage flavor for all the Folks out there.  Hope you're enjoying your time away from work and we pray to God you love every minute of our part II conversation around things we used to enjo...

Send us Fan Mail Hey-O!  We're back with another evening episode and we're turning a leaf on a new set of numbers!  That's right, kids.  Episode 40 is knocking on your door.  Better let this one in because Francis and Michael go ballistic chewing the fat over modern conveniences that have been replaced by technology.  Newspapers, the infamous Sears catalog, and that fun behemoth of...

Send us Fan Mail Hey all you Fine Folks!  We missed our Thursday mark for the first time, but hey!  We're rewarding you with another doozy of an episode featuring Francis and his wife, Leigh!  The title alone should pave the way for all the trouble we get ourselves into.  What started as a hope to discuss the different things men and women have on their phones went haywire and turned into the...

Send us Fan Mail Alrighty!  Hey Folks!  Apologies for the delay in today's episode.  Better late than never and not a moment too soon!  You ever have shower thoughts?  You ever care to know how many calories you can burn when your nipples are erect?  How about the answers to those questions and a plethora of other random facts Francis and Joe spew out in The Burger's 38th episode!  We di...

Send us Fan Mail Oh the weekend is so close you can almost touch it!  Since it's not quite here, we're here to touch all you fine folks in all the right places.  Joe Joe's back and we're talking Disney villains (don't worry, it'll be the last parting shot to a diabolical monopoly), Vaseline on your nips, and more Price Is Right losing horns than your little hearts can...

Send us Fan Mail Wowsers!  Well, we are nuttier than a jar full of crunchy peanut butter today kids!  Quick; write in and tell us what mildly popular TV show from the mid-90's the opening monologue from today's episode is from and you'll win the second Nonsense Burger t-shirt from our first batch of goodies!  Make sense?  Good.  It never should.  Today Michael and Francis dive into...

Send us Fan Mail Hocus Pocus we just placed our foreheads on the end of a baseball bat, spun around 44 times and landed on some wacky content!  Our buddy Michael Washington is back to get some much-needed relief from his children, agree with Francis's distaste for bugs, and talk about winning an air guitar contest!  Oh, and just wait until you hear our outrageous stories when talking about th...

Send us Fan Mail Arnold said he'd be back and he "kind of" meant it.  We here at the Burger will keep coming back time and time again!  And what do you know?!  Here we are serving up an episodal sequel to our 80's movie discussion!  Joe Oko is back to disagree with Francis's favorite Die Hard character as well as try to disprove Roadhouse as a classic film.  It's all...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome, welcome Folks!  Does nothing say 80's movies like a few sequels?  Well, we started down the path and quickly realized we needed to break this sucker up into a few episodes for your consumption.  Today we dive into the Comedy genre and discover what we've all known all along:  there wasn't a bad flick from that decade.  Francis unveils his love for both Rick...

Send us Fan Mail We can show you the world!  Shining, shimmering, splendid.  Tell us, Fine Folks, now when did you last let your heart decide?  If you're wise your hearts are already set on The Burger, and today we grind through some of our favorite Disney songs from the days of old.  This inevitably turns to highest-grossing movie soundtracks of all time, which gets Francis all hot n' b...

Send us Fan Mail Ohhhh boy!  We've got a spicy one on deck for ya today kiddies!  Please allow me to introduce to the show for the first time....Leigh Settlers!  Who?  Just Francis's dynamite better half.  That's right.  Our first female guest on the Burger is the one who has the good fortune of dealing with this entire pipe dream, and my God does she deliver.  We talk about our cho...

Send us Fan Mail Oh, the fun one can have when navigating the adventure that is the job interview.  Seems as though every employer is looking for that "go-getter"; the one who thrives in a team environment!  And yet after all these years, it seems as though the dreaded interview questions have only gotten more stale.  Where do I see myself in five years?!  It's like the late, great...

Send us Fan Mail Hope all you Fine Folks RRRRRRRR ready for some pirate puns!  Full disclosure; we went into today's show with one particular mindset and ended up diverting into a deep blue sea of Nonsense!  Joe Oko and Francis get all sorts of wrapped up in buried treasure, assembling a present-day pirate ship complete with crew, and we even formulate a plan for our first raid once we'v...

Send us Fan Mail Bow wow wow yippy yo yippy yay!  Today is an homage to our furry four-legged friends and more often than not, their garbage owners.  Earl graces us with his presence to complete the Nonsensical Pair!  Care to guess what we dive into when referencing man's best friend?  Why guess when you can just as easily hop on in and enjoy the silly!  We're tackling shitty owners, pot...

Send us Fan Mail Ahoy hoy!!  Watch out for the second episode of the week - she's rolling into the station full steam ahead!  Michael returns to wrap up our discussion on how one might punish their child from both a parent's perspective and someone who wouldn't know the first thing about how to successfully raise a kid.  Today's scenarios involve the abuse of electronics, break...

Send us Fan Mail Greetings Folks!  Michael Washington's back to fill the entire week's slate of Nonsensical goodness!  Fun fact:  Michael's a father of three.  Another fun fact:  Francis is a father of none.  These two facts combined spur Michael to wonder what Francis might do to punish a child for an assortment of wrongdoings.  Not only does hilarity ensue, but Mr. Washington take...

Send us Fan Mail Guess who's back; back again?!  The Nonsense Burger's back!  Tell your friends!  Truly and deliberately tell your friends.  Spread the good word!  We're now officially a quarter of the way to 100 episodes!  We're not even sure if that's a relevant milestone but let's go with it.  Today we welcome back our good buddy Michael Washington who introduces u...

Send us Fan Mail Hur mår du Folks?!  Swedish for "How are you?"  The Burger's going global!  Care to know what else we're up to?  Well, today Joe Oko and Francis Osceola decided to rub some relieving cream across the globe and make you all feel a teeny bit better by sharing some of our most embarrassing stories.  We implore you to laugh at our expense today and use some of the...

Send us Fan Mail Wowsers!  Joe Oko stops by the Burger for yet another unforgettable episode and we couldn't be happier....or more appalled.  Oko's lighting things up like only he knows how.  Care to know HOW that secret sauce is made?  Well, get on in here!  Now we adore all you Fine Folks so much we'll toss out a breadcrumb trail that leads directly to an enormous pile of bananas....

Send us Fan Mail Hey All!  What ails you on this fine spring day?  Oh, that's right; post-holiday jitters.  Find yourselves caught in the Swamps of Sadness?  Well, fear not!  Unlike Atreyu's failure with his beloved horse Artax, we'll pull you from the muck.  How's about a fresh new show from your adorable crowd of Nonsensical jesters?!  Timmy Noffke's BACK and my goodness...

Send us Fan Mail Hey all you Fine Folks!  Ya know what they say, "If you can't run with the big dogs; stay on the porch."  Well, we here at the Burger say that if you're going to stay on the porch you mine as well tune in to the show that tickles you in all the right places.  That's us!  Today we bring in a long-time friend of Francis's, Timothy Noffke, and my God do...

Send us Fan Mail Greetings Folks!  Well, we're all one day down toward one of those splendid holiday weekends and the Nonsensical Pair is here to inject a little goof into your week!  What better way to accomplish that feat than by chatting condoms?!  You read that right.  We get right down to it and unwrap that package for some fun!   No one likes going out in the rain without their jacket! ...

Send us Fan Mail Ladies and Gentlemen!  Boys and Girls!  All you Fine Folks!  Gather round!  Prepare your eyeballs for death-defying Nonsense that could only be conjured up by The Burger!  There are no trapeze artists here.  There are no tigers leaping through flaming rings.  We've just got a couple of fellas spewing one absurd comment after another!  Today we're welcoming back a show fa...

Send us Fan Mail Morning Folks!  You'll all notice that for today's episode The Nonsensical Pair is graced, yet again by the presence of Michael and Emmet.  Discussions had ranged from farts on legs, getting caught or catching others performing sexual intercourse, and the glorious past conversion vans used to live in.  The group also plays a rousing game of "Would You Rather?"...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome to the weekend all you big beautiful bowls of M&M's!  Apologies for pulling up to the table a little late but our growing band of fans has proven a rather entertaining fireside chat!  That's right all you Fine Folks, we're providing weekend treats in the form of another Fan Appreciation Friday, although this time you get the pleasure of hearing other voi...