The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast

This example from Edwin Friedman's video on leadership through self-differentiation will help you manage anxiety in any relationship system. Show Notes: Leadership Through Self Differentiation A lecture by Edwin Friedman on YouTube Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter.

You can’t make another person responsible. If you’re trying, you’re likely doing it wrong. Here’s why and how you can do better. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue  by Edwin Friedman Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  emails.

When you manage your anxiety by assuming you know what others are thinking, you often forgo the best possible outcomes. Show Notes: Are You Saying "No" For Others? - by Kathleen Smith Note: this is behind a paywall, but you can subscribe for $5/month (not an affiliate link). Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter.

Understanding the concept of psychological reactance can help you avoid a conflict of wills and increase the chances that people will react positively to your leadership. Show Notes: Rebel with a Cause - Choiceology Podcast Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter.

The triangle is the most stable form of human relationship. Learning to recognize a triangle and how to manage it is essential to being a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Kathleen Smith, PhD, LPC Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter.

In A Failure of Nerve , Edwin Friedman maintained that societal regression is counter evolutionary. In this episode, I unpack his five evolutionary principles of life as leadership principles. Show Notes: Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter.

Anxious people want a quick fix. Non-anxious leaders know this is not the answer. Here's why, as well as how you can respond to challenge in a way that will make a difference. Show Notes: How to avoid the most seductive leadership mistake by Ed O'Malley and Julia Fabris McBride Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter.

This episode explores Murray Bowen's prediction for when we will emerge from the current societal regression, as well as what that will look like. Bonus: a few examples of a self-differentiated leader right now. Show Notes: A Perspective on a World on Fire: Societal Regression by Michael Kerr Societal Emotional Process — The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family Societal Anxiety/Regression...

Murray Bowen's concept of societal regression helps to understand the conflict and division we face in society today. This episode explains what that is and my takeaways on this. Show Notes: Reflections on Societal Regression by Stephanie Ferrera A Perspective on a World on Fire: Societal Regression by Michael Kerr Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tue...

This episode covers how Mel Robbins' deals with overfunctioning and the similarities to family systems theory. Show Notes: ⁠⁠The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About⁠⁠ by Mel Robbins ⁠⁠“The Let Them Theory” Book Summary, Chapter-by-Chapter ⁠⁠ by Vanessa Van Edwards ⁠⁠Become a Patron⁠⁠ for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠⁠⁠Tw...

This episode covers how Mel Robbins' "Let Them Theory" applies to leadership through self-differentiation. Show Notes: ⁠The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About⁠ by Mel Robbins ⁠“The Let Them Theory” Book Summary, Chapter-by-Chapter ⁠ by Vanessa Van Edwards ⁠Become a Patron⁠ for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠⁠Two...

Mel Robbins doesn't say it, but her Let Them Theory resonates with family systems theory. Here's how. Show Notes: The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About by Mel Robbins “The Let Them Theory” Book Summary, Chapter-by-Chapter by Vanessa Van Edwards Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter...

Being a non-anxious presence doesn’t come naturally. Here’s what you can do to better prepare for difficult situations.   Show Notes: People With High Emotional Intelligence Use 5 Simple Words to Become Exceptionally Persuasive  by Bill Murphy Jr.

Joe Rigney's War on Empathy was inspired, in part, by Edwin Friedman. Here's where I agree and disagree with him. Show Notes: The Sin of Empathy — A Conversation with Joe Rigney - AlbertMohler.com The Anatomy of a Steer by Joseph Rigney Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter.

Martha Beck's concept of the anxiety spiral and creativity spiral resonate with Edwin Friedman's definition of a non-anxious leader. Here's how. Show Notes: Beyond Anxiety: Curiosity, Creativity and Finding Your Life's Purpose by Martha Beck A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesd...

A paradox in leadership is that we think we can control more than we actually can. This leads to micromanaging, which is more damaging than helpful. This episode shows how leadership through self-differentiation is different and more effective. Show Notes: How to Solve the Leadership Paradox | Inc.com  by David Finkel Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tues...

Here's how Dr. Sunita Sah's definition of defiance is self-differentiation and how you can do it skillfully. Show Notes: DEFY : The Power Of No In A World That Demands Yes — Sunita Sah Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter.

Evolutionary forces have created two competing psychological needs that contribute to happiness. Here's what they are, as well as the difference that self-differentiation makes. Show Notes: ⁠For a happier life, we must balance two old psychological needs ⁠ by William von Hippel ⁠The Hadza: Hunter-Gatherers of Tanzania⁠ by Frank Marlowe ⁠Become a Patron⁠ for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to...

Self-differentiation is about knowing your own goals and values, which builds resilience. Here’s the research that shows why. Show Notes: How To Be Resilient: 5 Secrets To Success When Life Gets Impossible  by Eric Barker Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter.

Dr. Michael Kerr, who studied under Murray Bowen, identifies two levels of self-differentiation. Here’s what they are and why they matter to the non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Interview with Michael Kerr 2007  from the Family Systems Institute Dr. Michael Kerr Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter.

When a leader overfunctions, their followers naturally underfunction. Here are three things you can do if you have followed such a leader. Show Notes: Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter.

Overfunctioning parents aren't helping their kids, they're hurting them. The same is true for leaders. Here's what that looks like and what to do differently. Show Notes: Parents Who Hire Elite Tutors Are Setting Up Their Kids for Failure by Katie Roiphe Support My Work for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter.

Emotionally dependent people make demands that often use fear, obligation and/or guilt. Here's how to manage yourself and the situation. Show Notes: How to Disarm any Narcissist Behavior Expert Reveals Exactly What To Say To A Narcissist - Chase Hughes Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter.

How we respond to challenge and crisis is a big factor in whether we will survive and even thrive. These three factors come from a lecture that Edwin Friedman gave in 1985. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue The Center for Family Process Subscribe to my weekly  ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠  email newsletter.

Non-anxious leaders take action, however small. Even if you are happy (currently), this episode covers what you can do when you're frustrated with your country and the world. Show Notes: Future Christian Podcast Ground News Episode 304: What to Do Now that the Election Is Over Episode 276: 10 Steps to Effectively Deal with Resistance (Part 1 of 2) Episode 277: 10 Steps to Effectively Deal with...