The New Man

What’s the common link between workaholism, greed, and love addiction? Does your sense of self worth go up and down like a rollercoaster? And is there more to life than protecting our egos? If you’re like everyone else on the planet, then you’ve probably struggled with feeling “enough.” Today Alyson and I dive under the hood to discuss Terry Real’s unhealthy forms of self-esteem so that we can all...

If you’re angry, is it better to bottle it up or lash out in retaliation? Do you get stuck in a loop thinking of things you should say to that jerk who pissed you off? And how is emotional constipation draining our aliveness and motivation? In this conversation, Alyson and I discuss the problems that arise with anger. For many, we feel stuck — if we say something with anger it might make the situa...

Is our drive for more money, more status, or more stuff really just an attempt to fill a God-sized hole in our lives? Do you ever feel awkward when expressing love to others? And how does our need for safety block us from having satisfying relationships? Today Alyson and I try to understand why love can be so challenging to receive. We discuss the ways we armor ourselves to avoid vulnerability and...

Are you with someone because you really want them or because you’re more afraid to be alone? Are you settling for junk food relationships that never satisfy and leave you feeling empty? And how does loneliness drive us to choose lousy partners? Relationships are hard and the only way to learn is to get in the mix. Today Alyson and I find some friction when it comes to dating and playing the field....

Has therapy ever been frustrating for you? Is the purpose of therapy to just dig up junk from your past? And is it possible to find healers that can really help you move forward? Today Alyson and I talk about why many folks — including therapists we know and love — find the conventional form of therapy to be limiting. We discuss why she forged her own path instead of continuing as a licensed thera...

Can a neutered nerd become a stud? Is your inner critic an enemy or an ally? And is self rejection fueling your ambition to be better? Today Alyson and I react to a movie called The Hitman and the topic of reinventing ourselves. This leads us to discuss pickup artists, neutered men, and facing our inner critic. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2024/07/reinvent-yourself COACHING - To learn more abo...

Do you trust your gut when making decisions? Is there a way to quiet the harsh critic that constantly judges you? And how can we combine the benefits of western psychology with eastern mysticism? Put on your scuba gear because today we’re going deep with author, entrepreneur, and former Navy SEAL commander Mark Divine. In this conversation we discuss the power of embracing our emotions, intuition,...

What’s going to happen to you after you die? Is death something you ignore or something you use to enjoy your days more? And are near death experiences proof of an after life or just the brain going apeshit because it’s losing oxygen? Sebastian Junger is no stranger to death. As a war correspondent he survived an IED attack on his vehicle and spent a grueling stint in the treacherous Korengal Vall...

Do you feel pressured to get married because you’ve been with someone a long time? Are you and your partner kicking the can down the road so you don’t have to face the reality of your challenges? And how much longer can you tolerate your relationship if it doesn’t change for the better? Today’s question comes from someone whose relationship is stuck in a rut. Their sex life is boring. They avoid d...

Is FOMO driving you to constantly be busy, busy, busy? Is it scary to admit that the hustle and grind is killing your motivation? And when is our resistance trying to help us? Today Alyson and I discuss motivation, resistance, and the cult of success. We talk about how it’s necessary to learn how to thrive in the world, but ultimately we have to stop jumping through hoops, forge our own path, and...

Do you ever feel like something is just not quite right with your life? Do you have most of what you could want but still feel like something’s missing? And who are you underneath that ambition to succeed and avoid failure? Today Alyson and I talk about why so many folks feel empty inside even though they have amazing lives on the outside. We discuss what it means to find our gold, to reveal our e...

Does your BS meter keep you from having a spiritual life? Are mystical experiences just our brain chemicals fooling us to believe we have a connection with God? And is spirituality something you can cultivate on your own or should you depend on a tradition or guru? Today my wife Alyson and I talk about religion, spirituality, and just how common it is to wrestle with this stuff. I share a bit abou...

Is marriage a death sentence for the part of you that is wild? Do you ever wonder what happened to fun, adventure, and spontaneity? And how can we avoid becoming another Homer Simpson or turning our partner into a “ball and chain?” Today Alyson and I dive into the topic of domestication. We explore how responsibilities and structure are necessary, but they don’t have to kill what makes us feel ali...

Is watching porn the same as cheating on your partner? Is it wrong to fantasize about someone other than your partner? And what are we really seeking when we choose to watch adult entertainment? Today, my wife Alyson and I try to help someone who has a different perspective on porn than his partner. It may be tempting to get stuck in a debate about who is right or wrong, but what if we tried to un...

Is therapy only for the weak? Do you ever feel like it’s you against the universe? And how can you tell if you’re a warfighter or a warrior? Years ago, Navy SEAL Jeff Boss left the military and struggled to find his way as a civilian. Even after burying dozens of his friends, he believed healing was for the weak. Regardless of his elite mental strength training, he was fighting back the emotions w...

Do you believe in soul mates or is that just some rom com BS? Do you feel guilty for having a life outside of work and your relationship? And what relationship advice would have helped your younger self avoid a huge headache? My wife Alyson and I deal with past relationship failures, settling for nice guys, and what it may really mean to have a soul mate. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2024/03/s...

Do you ever feel like you’re at war with yourself? Are the blind spots holding you back obvious to others? And how can a wall become a potential pathway to get unstuck? Today, my wife Alyson and I discuss how so many of us are striving to improve ourselves by going to war with ourselves. And we explore what ultimately brings us the emotional peace we hope that victory will bring. https://www.thene...

Do you have an amazing collection of books but lousy focus and discipline? Do you get excited about new ideas but then feel bad because you don’t really do anything with them? And what would happen if you took a break from jamming new ideas into your head? Today’s coaching call is with a self-proclaimed personal growth junkie. He can easily spend hours pouring through books and podcasts, but when...

What would make you excited to commit to a relationship? Are you afraid to set a high bar for someone because it may mean you’ll end up alone? And what does it mean if you can’t stop nit-picking your partner? In today’s coffee date, my wife Alyson and I recall the first phone conversation we ever had. She grilled me for hours about my values — or as she puts it, “What makes you kneel or bow?” We t...

Do you wish you could change something about your partner? Is there something about them that keeps you from committing? And how is staying in the shallow end of the pool drowning your relationship? My wife Alyson and I share a cup of coffee and flounder through a conversation about changing your partner, refusing to be the bad guy, and why it’s so important to keep your side of the street clean....

Is meditation a tool to help you be more productive or an ancient practice for expanding consciousness? Is personal growth really just another way to escape the discomfort and uncertainty of life? And can peace only be experienced once we’ve accomplish all of our goals? Today my wife Alyson and I share another coffee date where we talk about what has drawn me into decades of spiritual practice. Th...

Do you know any white guys with dreadlocks? Could you be in a cult without even knowing it? And is it possible for science and spirituality to co-exist? My wife Alyson and I decided to have a coffee date…with microphones. This means I got to ask her silly questions, and she did what she normally does — dig down to find the deepest, grittiest stuff she can find. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/202...

Is success a way to make you look more impressive? Do you ruminate about ways to get the approval of others? And what truly motivates you to be more successful? Today’s call is an emotional one. Our guy has had a checkered past which has left him estranged from his daughters. He’s gotten his own life back on track, but when it comes to his girls there’s still a lot to repair. In this call we start...

Do you ever feel like you’re playing the wrong game in life? Are you overwhelmed by all of the personal growth stuff you “should” to be doing? And if you check all the boxes, should life be easy? Heroic CEO and app creator Brian Johnson is back to discuss his new book "Areté: Activate Your Heroic Potential". Since we last spoke a lot has happened including a challenge that nearly sank his business...

Do you get fired up to set goals but suck at following through? Are you waiting for inspiration or motivation to make it easier to battle procrastination? And would it bring you peace to give up on your dreams? Today’s call is with a guy who’s sick of allowing resistance to get the best of him. He sets tons of goals but doesn’t follow through. Pissing away his time, strengths, and gifts is killing...