The Movie Buff and The Cinephile/Bent Wookiee

EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! - Day 18 "I understand. I really do." Well, I DON'T!!! A sorta-classy, quasi-chamber piece revolving around an enigmatic mind game between two strangers featuring Malcolm McDowell, bizarre dialogue, and a doozy of an ending.

EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! - Day 17 "You certainly have an obsession with sex and death. Well, who doesn't these days?" The most obscure and least seen of the Barbara Crampton/Jeffrey Combs movies, this once-lost short finds the Empire dream team tackling, what else? An H.P. Lovecraft tale which is both nightmarish and kinda kinky: "Kiss me like you used to."

EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! - Day 16 "RAT BURGER!!!" All I'll ever need is Michael Moriarty lip-syncing and gyrating to Blue Cheer's "Summertime Blues."

EMPIRE (maybe) STRIKES BACK! - Day 15 "We are people! REAL PEOPLE! Everyone else is phony, but we are REAL!!!" One of those obscure titles that I can't confirm or deny Empire distributed, this is nevertheless a punk schizophrenic mash-up of genres and tone featuring Linda Blair, Tab Hunter, AND Angel herself, Donna Wilkes!

Day 14 - EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! "What can you tell me about your penis?" Displaying a resolute commitment and determination to being a silly, uninhibited blast, DeCoteau is in fine, even satirical form with this raucous sci-fi/comedy featuring bounteous breasts, a rockin' heavy metal number, terrific galactic effects by future Oscar winner Greg Cannom, and of course, the consumption of cool, refresh...

EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! - Day 13 The Species of its day. "Whoevah told ya a cheap dinnah in a second-rate Itah-lian restaurant was a ticket to a girl's bedroom..."

EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! - Day 12 A punk witch tale. I hope you enjoy Satanic interpretive dance! Incomparable performances, especially from a fabulously sassy and prickly coroner who brings a Paul Lynde level of bitchiness: "It's suicide, honey!"

EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! - Day 11 The Space Shuttle Sex Murders?! Now, THERE'S a prequel they shoulda made! Oh boy...we've entered the Tim Kincaid era and it's all big hair, bad acting, and sexy, sexy mayhem.

EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! - Day 10   "Death is Sad!" Just remember, if you ever get writer's block, just grab your handy dandy Necronomicon for inspiration!

Day 9 - EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! And who could forget dear, dear rat girl? Sure, there's been a nuclear war, acid rain makes travel impossible, and a monster's lurking about, but do you think that's gonna stop Linnea Quigley from showering with one of her co-workers? I don't think so!

Day 8: EMPIRE (doesn't) STRIKE BACK...'cause Empire was already long gone, baby! The great Jim Wynorski directs this ridiculous trifle featuring the return of Peter Liapis from the original and Stacie Randall, whose outfit does most of her acting. "You barely speak English! How do you know an ancient language?!"

EMPIRE (sorta) STRIKES BACK! - Day 7 Charles Band sold the rights to stave off bankruptcy, so it's technically NOT an Empire production, but it's still Ghoulies, baby! A raucous comedy that begs the question: What iconic line will Kevin McCarthy be remembered for? Invasion of the Body Snatchers' "They're here already! You're next!" or "The Ghoulies have no dicks!"

EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! - Day 6 "Bon appetite, motherfucker!" G2 opts for an edgier, nastier approach and delivers an inspired carnival sequence of delightful mischief and mayhem.

Day 5 EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! Empire's first legitimate hit, Ghoulies has a plethora of Buechler's trademark slimy, diminutive beasties and an iconic VHS cover.

Day 4 EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! "I reject your reality and substitute my own." It took a while, but people are finally starting to realize that EVERYTHING began with The Dungeonmaster. The aforementioned quote, screen handles (X-Calbr8), the power glove, cybersex "She can't link up like we can," Google Glass, and as Dave Chappelle put it, "everything looks better in slow motion." Oh, and a cameo by WAS...

EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! Curses, witchery, hallucinations, and very poor driving skills abound in this very early Empire pic – Wikipedia even lists it as the first one – and I really don't see why Robert Ginty couldn't EXTERMINATE every one of those asshole demons!

31 Days of Horror/Day 2: Parasite (1982) "I really hate liars," said the creepy government dude with a retractable laser. For his third feature, producer and director Charles Band embraced what the public wanted: blood, gore, nudity, and monsters. Look, I'm not saying they gave the Oscar to the wrong Parasite, but...

EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! That's right! We'll be featuring the films of Charles Band's Empire International Pictures this month! If one were to filter a fairy tale through the prism of a group of filmmakers who have no problem with copious blood-letting, then the resultant movie would very likely resemble Dolls.

Don't gimme yer life story, PAW ME! S07E02

Tales does Groundhog Day! S06E03

Agatha Christie would bitch slap this episode.  S07E03

Proudly touting its only IMDB trivia entry: The lowest-rated episode of the series on IMDB. 

Jon Polito WITHOUT a moustache?! Sacrilege!

A Malaysian Death Match?!

Hello Boils and Ghouls! Join me, if you SCARE, for a new season of Bent Wookiee and my ranking of all 93 Tales from the Crypt episodes! It's going to be a FRIGHT-fully good time!