Scott Johnson

The Morning Stream

Comedy EN ↓ 1008 episodes

The Morning Stream, Mon thru Thurs, every morning, with Scott Johnson and the Frogpants Network. News, culture, politices and talk each and every day! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Author

Scott Johnson

Category

Comedy

Podcast website

frogpants.com

Latest episode

Jul 9, 2026

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Episodes

TMS 2176: The Crown's Gambit 20.09.2021

A Dramedy? That's A Camel, Right? Up your nose with a glowy hose. National Air Bender Day. I Say Keep the Damn Ottoman. Does that letter give good lumbar support. Are Space Orks Sporks? Handsome, Bald, and Famous. The Michelin Man Made Us Dinner and Still Has Fat Rolly Arms. Hot Cockles. You can't see my fingers at home. Take The Turkey in the other Room. I Can Eat 11 Nails and Fart the Longest. P...

TMS 2175: Burn the butterflies 16.09.2021

To Catch a Petabyte. NEED OUTPUT! Wasp-ception. My Husband Comes from Donut People. It all made sense in the dream. Everybody Loves Morrissey. Mowing Virtual Lawns and Pumping Virtual Gas. Not My First Isuzu Rodeo! Skeevily Biting Her Neck. Bobby Frankensteinburgerhymen. Moo Loo Poo. Dark Matter Multiplies Like Rabbits. Never Introduce Anything to Anything. Moo Left the Seat Up? Therapy Thursday a...

TMS 2174: Taco Del Ariana Grande 15.09.2021

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

TMS 2173: Ryan Maiden 14.09.2021

The Dog's Butt is Covid Free! The One About the One-Eyed Nun and the Four Monkeys. Gozer the lockpicker. Dressed Like A Kinder Egg. McGruff, The Crime Burger!! Small, Medium, or Roundabout? 18 Park Places and 35lbs Later. Just Okey, No Dokey. Doin' Half The Okie-Dokie!! Tourette's O'Riley, Road Rager!! She's not as methy as I expected! A Box Of Illuminati Pizza! McRover Value Meal. How-r-ye. Jury...

TMS 2172: Gin-Swilling Firecracker 13.09.2021

Ireland or D&D? You Be the Judge. Is Eastern Mysticism Real Because I Like Really Wanted to KNOW. Hawkeye? Not hawkeye? Like hawkeye? Minecraft Poop. Kiss Your Lucky Charms Goodbye! I Don't Like Pouring Coffeeeeeeeeee. Yabba Doo! How Fast is That in Kilometers Per Hour? Piss Off, Ghost! Squeeze the fart right out of Mitzula! Look, but don't touch the celebrities. I Like An OK" Hot Dog!" Truck...

TMS 2171: All Potatoes all the time 09.09.2021

My Wife Partner. Wonton Endangerment. A Pinch Full of Scott Makes the Weed Brownies Go Down! Beer as Dark as My Heart. Assault with a Deadly Fruit. Hitler is my middle name. Head, Shoulders, Hand, Foot, Mouth...Hand, Foot, Mouth. Undesirable Utah Shrimp! Put A Little Bit Of Weed In There. Virginia Pipette is my Stage Name. Science is cool and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more...

TMS 2170: Happy little sex tape 08.09.2021

Collateral finger damage. Our wives are our friends as well as the sexy stuff. Pizza Blob the Hutt. White Guys Talk about Rap. Napster Was Great. Ask Your Parents. A Raw, Meaty Hole In His Head. Mumford, But Not His Sons. Scannable pants. Nicole and Tom and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/priv...

TMS 2169: Battery Paranoid 07.09.2021

Cultivated Beard Unit. Kim Gets Thanked, Scott Gets Flipped Off! Found Unconscious In Shrubs... TV's Three Beards! Homeless Contactless Delivery. The Metabolism Of A Mosquito On Speed. The Sheep Is Judging You HARSHLY! The Dog Licked me. Now I have Pink Eye. Sand and Weed. Don't Epoxy That Floppy! I don't want your swampy butt. Jury Duty and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more a...

TMS 2168: Meat Juice 02.09.2021

Put Sugar in that Boy, and Send Him Home with More! Go To Ireland For the Lucky Charms And The Whatnot. Just Lean Back and Look at the Ducks, Man. Male Lard. Conjugal Visits Are NOT Allowed at the Zoo! Lady Maderna. Pull Out Your Thing, Blow on it, and Shove it Back in! Hot Tubs are Water Coolers for Old People! A-Salting your meat with Bobby. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morni...

TMS 2166: Stabby Noodles! 25.08.2021

Don't Show Me Dildo! The best part of wakin' up, is Cat Butt IN YOUR CUP! Warming the creamer. Beer, Book, Battlestar Galactica. This Lawsuit? Nevermind. This Lawsuit Smells Like Teen Spirit! I left my flip flops in the clip clop. Silly Rabbit, Stabs are for Straights! Michael Rooker's balls are all CGI. Come for the beans, stay for the corn. I left Randy Newman in my hotel room! WE Don't Love You...

TMS 2165: That wine gets a Si from me 24.08.2021

I Do Not Like These Beans In My Pene Dr Green! This Is Where His Chode Will Go. Folding My Arms During the Theme. Don Knotts' Death Montage. Step-Fantasy Island. Adobe dropped support for Flash mobs. Tappin' Out a Wiener. Roney Boney, the San Francisco Treat! Cork Dorks. Full View of Hottub Land. Fifty Shades of NO. Socially Distanced Planking. Start With Lentils And Work Your Way Up. Nyaaaaaah Se...

TMS 2164: $5,000 Per Moron 23.08.2021

Daney Curry. Taking a gulp of Skin Air. Smelled Like Duck Hell. In Heaven everything is in the Cloud. Don't go chasing heart failure. T-pops? T-pops? Not T-pops? Give me all ZEE CONDOMS! Repelled by the UnNormals. Call 976-Dial-a-Nigerian-Prince. Big Macs and Velvet sunsets. Sell it before it gets wet. Do You Have A Two Year Old Of Any Sort? Pushing him away like he was t-pops. Going to Hell for t...

TMS 2163: Send Your Emails To 2012 19.08.2021

Gene Hackman, President of the Nipplefolk. White Guy Dancing for Everyone. Two Ciders and a Benadryl. What do the Irish do when theyâre weird? Shave your head for the job you want. Does this spot look infected? Jamming 70 Jupiters Together with Bobby. Smoke Rain everyday! Cheeky Jell-O Shots. 4:20 Shenanigans. That Man Came Out Of Nowhere. hawkeye? Hawkeye? Not like Hawkeye? Uranus has a ring arou...

TMS 2162: She Gets a Tatu, not a Tattoo 18.08.2021

Boobs Butts and Beyond. 50 Shades of Nope. Check Out My Oily Fans! Tornadoes Never Come to Visit Me. A Goatse Hole In The Middle! The Chive & The Onion Are Owned By The Potato Conglomerate. Buy Low, MRI While High! Who Wants A Nooner??!? Freecock Peacock. Expired food roulette. Losers are always welcome. Weiner in the pie. Philip K Dick eyes. Bringing Yik Yak Back with Tom. Reccamentals with N...

TMS 2161: Beef Sheets 17.08.2021

The chatroom is my spider. Quarter Horse's Top the DPS Meter. Lucky charms, now part of your traditional Irish Breakfast! My Name is Mug. 88 Point Whatever Giggawatts! How do decimals work because I really want to know. Kirkland Heroin: Better than it Oughta Be. Dream Warrior! It Wasn't Huge, But it DID Come Back to Life! If you have a goatee then you are in the evil timeline. We're not Democratic...

TMS 2160: Screw you Man-eater! 16.08.2021

You Can't Drink All Day Unless You Start In The Morning. I don't like crotch beeeeeeeeeees. Hospitals. They're full of sick people. The answer is always Murderers. Can I get that with Hall and Oats Milk? I've only seen one murderer, ooops I'm Dead. Hot Nozzles That Poop Out Plastic. Touching Feet at a Gentleman's Club! Spider Peen! Baby Shark Every Week! Brown Beard takes his booty. Swift Punch In...

TMS 2159: The Magic Magician Industry 12.08.2021

Put it Back, Jeffrey! Pop Guns? We've Got Pop Guns? Pop Guns? Miles and Jeffrey at Disneyland. His arms wide". 20 years ago, this person was younger. I'm A Moderate, Not A FULL Star Wars Fan. Indiana Jones and the Journey From The Exit To The Queue. Strap-on Lightsaber. I Have Two Grey Hairs. Gimmie a second. I'll show you my dude. Common Wookiee Noises. Spine Reshuffling. Butts-on Burner. Playing...

TMS 2158: Carter's Jim Jam 11.08.2021

Commit to the tissues. Is Pejorative Pejorative? Live From The Aluminum Falcon! Jumping Into The Groot Chute. Having Chewbacca All To Himself. More Blood & Swears! First Name Bobby, Last Name Burger. Disney's Chippendales! Salacious Turd and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more...

TMS Disney Update 01 10.08.2021

TMS Disney Update 01, because why not! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

TMS 2157: Monkey Knuckles 09.08.2021

Constitutional Hoo-Ha! THEY CAN HUG RICE! Jimmy Carter and his wife Richard. Norman Didn't Die, He Went to Live on a Farm Upstate. Mayor McCheese Presides Over All Burger Arbitration! She Doesn't Get The 'Good' Equipment! Kim joins us and more, on this episode of the morning stream! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more infor...

TMS 2156: Affordable Meatballs 05.08.2021

This Candle smells like my meatballs. I Hope It's Mustard! A Naked Lady Making a Sandwich. Zero Sugar Delta Splash. I'm Not Your Google. Can Soda Shot First! Hey, this show is daily! The Bookcase Prefers to Be Called William. I Don't Know What She's doin, but It Ain't Sellin' a Phone. Isn't there an agency dealing with Firearms called A-T-Something? Stickers are also for men and women. One T-Shirt...

TMS 2155: Sean Cheese 04.08.2021

1% on rotten potatoes. HANDS ON BUZZARDS! Pavlov's Bunch of Freaks. Who Let The Dogs Out? Me...I Did it! That Stuffed Bear has a Twinkle in Its Eye. I Just Remember Boobs. Getting a Brazilian From The Neighbors! You Said Steeler, But It's Okay. So you hate fun. Toon Town is a rough neighborhood. Short-Time Listener, Long-Time Caller. Bad Smell RSS. Shouting At The Screen With Tom. Doin' Shrooms Wi...

TMS 2154: Full Twerkle 03.08.2021

My name is Twitch and I'm here to say, your channel is blocked for DMCA! Even Taco Bell is Suffering From The Chip Shortage! I DON'T TRUST I M D BEEEEEEEEEEEE! I Would Thumb Up Your Video. Sex & The City... But Old. MY BOOB HURTS! Meningitis Of The TEAT!! Never Tried Breaking Out The Jennifer Tilly! Five Golden Girls Are a Parasite. Not sure whether to apologize to Florida or Ireland. How's Th...

TMS 2153: There's A Smell And It's Not Good 02.08.2021

Do I Look Like I Turn Down Free Food? IT'S THICK! Grampa Lonely Pants only takes checks. It's Not Food, It's Denny's. Bad Diaphragm - Now Your Sprinkler is Pregnant. White Fungus was my High School Wrestling name. The one where Twitch craps out. Tripped, Flipped, and Popped. It's lump, it's lump, it's lump, it's birds nest soup. Drink from the Pink Tube. My Best Friend Phoebe. Use your lips there,...

TMS 2152: Grapefruit Pencil Shavings and pesticide 29.07.2021

No one like Malort or Truck Nuts. Reading Feedback from the Feedback with Gidget. Accolades Up The Wahoo! Bobby in The Wendi Zone. That Is SO Not My House! Great big test tubes. I'M DELETING THIS RIGHT NOW. Identity Thefted? You need to be a wizard to finish this quiz. Just Because You Have the Nuts Doesn't Mean You Need to Put Them on Your Truck. You bastard! You served Kenny! using my big boy br...

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