The Messy Recovery Podcast

I wanted to make this episode because I’ve gotten asked this question a lot. Why did I recover without medical supervision? The truth is, it wasn’t because I thought I knew better or because I think everyone should do the same. It was just the decision I made, and I wanted to share why. I talk about what was going through my head, the fears I had, and what it was actually like trying to recover wh...

What actually happens to your body and brain during an eating disorder? Why does food become an obsession? Why does recovery take so much longer than most people expect? In this episode, I’m breaking down the science behind eating disorders and recovery in a way that’s easy to understand. We’ll talk about how starvation changes the brain, why your body adapts the way it does, what happens to your...

Please ignore my dog whining in the background, she wanted to go outside and play! I thought recovery would be hard, but I didn’t expect it to look like this. Nobody prepared me for the grief of living in a body that feels unfamiliar, the frustration of doing everything “right” and still feeling stuck, or the loneliness of watching other people’s recovery journeys seem so much simpler than my own....

Everyone talks about deciding to recover. Everyone talks about extreme hunger. But almost nobody talks about what happens when you’re months into recovery and still don’t feel like yourself. In this episode, I’m sharing the messy middle of eating disorder recovery , the part where the excitement wears off and you’re left navigating body image struggles, physical discomfort, grief, comparison, lone...

When I first started recovery, I had questions constantly running through my head. Was I gaining too fast? Would the extreme hunger ever stop? Why did I feel so uncomfortable in my body? Was recovery even working? In this episode, I’m sharing the biggest questions I asked throughout my recovery journey and answering them from the perspective of someone who has now moved through many of those diffi...

Everyone talks about the beginning of recovery and the freedom that’s supposed to come later. Nobody really talks about the middle. The part where you’re eating, gaining weight, doing everything you’re supposed to do, but still struggling. The part where your body feels unfamiliar, your clothes fit differently, your confidence feels gone, and you’re trying not to panic every time you catch your re...

In this episode, I’m talking about one of the most overwhelming and misunderstood parts of eating disorder recovery: extreme hunger. The kind of hunger that can make you feel terrified, out of control, confused, guilty, and convinced something is wrong with you. We’re diving into the reality of what extreme hunger actually is, why it happens, why it can continue even after weight restoration, and...

In this episode i explore my experience with under eating symptoms, and the symptoms of going all in. I explore the fatigue, being cold 24/7, hair loss, rapid extreme edema, and why I still choose recovery every day.

In this episode i talk about my journey during my restriction, and overexercising journey, and the damage it took not only on my body, but my life.