The Maestro Movie Podcast

"Stepped on me, stepped on me? Are you kidding? This guy was dancing on me! I mean just look at this, broken, broken, gone, gone, broken, broken, broken..."

"Police: Are you classified as human? Korben Dallas: Negative, I am a meat popsicle."

Coach Finstock: There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

Wesley: [upon seeing a dead woman hung on a meat hook] Oh my God! Hey, we can't shoot a dead woman! She might be somebody's mom! [Fox shoots the corpse in the head] Gunsmith: You need to know what it's like to put a bullet in a body.

Robin: I need a sign that you've turned over a new leaf. Ivy: How about "slippery when wet?"

Robin: Holey rusted metal, Batman! Batman: Huh? Robin: The ground, it's all metal. It's full of holes. You know, holey. Batman: Oh.

"Honey, I'm home. Oh, I forgot. I'm not married."

Nic: Don't kill me! Don't kill me, man! Don't kill me! Don't kill me, man! Batman: I'm not going to kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me. Nic: What are you? Batman: I'm Batman.

Officer Fletcher: John, don't run. John Anderton: You don't have to chase me. Officer Fletcher: You don't have to run. John Anderton: Everybody runs, Fletch.

"Am I too turtley for the Turtle Club?"

Max Fischer: I like your nurse's uniform, guy. Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs. Max Fischer: O, R they?

"Earthbenders! Why are you acting this way? You are powerful and amazing people! You don't need to live like this! There is earth right beneath your feet! The ground is an extension of who you are!"

"If you ride like lightning, you're going to crash like thunder."

"Gwen Mason: [panicked, desperately] I've been good! [Santa hits her with a table leg]"

Po: Who are you? Li: I'm Li Shang. I'm looking for my son. [everybody gasps] Po: You lost your son? Li: Yes. Many years ago. Po: I lost my father. Li: I'm very sorry. Po: Thank you. [pause] Li: Well, good luck to you. Po: You too. I hope you find your son. Li: And I hope you find your father. [they both walk off, everyone facepalms]

"Got it.  Stealth mode."

"I'm not a big fat panda.  I'm THE big fat panda."

Joe: Time travel has not yet been invented. But thirty years from now, it will have been. It will be instantly outlawed, used only in secret by the largest criminal organizations. It's nearly impossible to dispose of a body in the future... I'm told. Tagging techniques, whatnot. So when these criminal organizations in the future need someone gone, they use specialized assassins in our present call...

Paulo: Put your hands up! Hans: No. Paulo: What? Hans: I said no. Paulo: Why not? Hans: Because I don't want to. Paulo: But I've got a gun... Hans: I don't care. Paulo: It doesn't make any sense! Hans: Too bad!

Larry Gigli: You know something? You're right. It is sadness. Its sadness and I'm fucking sad. You got me. You're a genius. You know why I'm fucking sad? Because I got this fucking beautiful-sexy-gorgeous-hearthrob-o-rama-fucking-smart-amazing-bombshell-seventeen-on a fucking ten scale girl sleeping in a bed right next to me. And you know what? She's a stone cold d***. A fucking untouchable, unhav...

Emily: Thackery Binx, what took thee so long? Thackery Binx: I'm sorry, Emily. I had to wait three hundred years for a virgin to light a candle.

Ash: You should probably put your bandit hat on now. Personally, I- I don't have one, but I modified this tube sock. [they put on their 'hats'] Kristofferson: We look good. Ash: Yeah. We do.

Dr. Arliss Loveless: Mister West! How nice of you to join us tonight and add COLOR to these monochromatic proceedings! Capt. James West: Well when a fella comes back from the dead, I find that an occasion to STAND UP and be counted! Dr. Arliss Loveless: Miss East informs me that you were expectin' to see General McGrath here. Well, I knew him years ago, but I haven't seen him in a COON's age! Capt...

V: I need a hundred bucks or I'm gonna get slapped, you think you can do that? Frank Wheeler: Here, take it. V: Where'd you get all this money? Frank Wheeler: My friends and I want to see a naked lady. V: How much of a naked lady? Frank Wheeler: As much as a hundred dollars will buy.

Barry: I have to get more pudding for this trip to Hawaii. As I just said that out loud I realize it sounded a little strange but it's not.