The Luke and Pete Show

What do they do with zoo elephants after they've died? Pete thinks he has the answer, but Luke isn't convinced. What Luke is convinced about though is the hilarious nature of Pete's gaming chair, something he feels may be putting off prospective romantic partners due to the cache of chilli beef that's fallen down the sides. Disgusting. On the listener front, we hear from another man who thinks he'...

It's Luke and Pete Show time here at Stakhanov, and on this damp and dreary Monday we try and brighten things up with a good old fashioned, healthy look at all the things that have interested us across these past few days. Expect UFOs, Japanese mascots, Mindhunter, and Luke having his hair accidentally doused in a foreign liquid when he least expected it. Elsewhere, there's Pete's trumps, a quick...

If you're have a tough old week at work, don't worry, you're nearly there now. It's Thursday, and Luke and Pete have got your back for another half an hour or so. Kick back and relax listening to tales of a dolphin playing keepie-ups with a jellyfish, the price Pete would want for his different body parts, and the week our two eponymous heroes spent in bed together in Johannesburg back in 2010. An...

Happy Monday and a warm welcome to The Luke and Pete Show, it's very nice to see you! Pete's been to Rotterdam for the weekend and has been very impressed by the architecture. Luke isn't sure how much Pete actually saw of it (boozing), but is happy he had a nice time. In other news we discuss ungratefulness, how important sorbet is to Pete, radio phone-ins, and we also hear from a man working in t...

Welcome to your all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show, in which we talk about possibly the most diverse range of subjects ever. From fridge dumping and courgettes to foreskin removal and UFOs, and just about everything else in between. Meanwhile, Pete crosses the line when talking about masturbation, but Luke gets his own back on Pete regarding the now infamous mercury maze. And, in some absol...

If you had the chance to incorporate a long egg into a recipe why wouldn't you? Luke and Pete find themselves incredulously discussing why a celebrity chef wouldn't take the opportunity. Elsewhere there's a rather unorthodox approach to removing a swarm of bees from a house, a police chief being tasered, and news on what the baby from the David Bowie film Labyrinth is now up to, 35 years on. And,...

A very good evening from Luke and Pete towers. Apologies for lateness with this one, Luke uttered the word ‘technically’ and everything went ever-so-wonky…so the second half of Thursday’s little boi is a little best-of. It’s still good, though. Haway, don’t slag us off, we’re doing our best.   ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods....

Happy Monday! This time on your all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show, Luke's been to the Lake District, and Pete has been out for a drink with his friend and his friend's cobbler. Yes, really. We're not sure what to make of that either. Elsewhere, there's wasp stings, talk of a huge brawl started by a clown on a cruise ship, and lots of animals being naughty. We also answer a question from a...

FIRE IN THE BOOTH! It's the hottest day of the year, but just when you thought it couldn't get any hotter, here come Luke and Pete with some fresh #realtalk, so hush your gums, open your ear lids and enjoy. This time they're talking vasectomies, otters being disgraceful shits, outright quackery from people purporting to be medical professionals, and pink, yes pink, sheep. There's loads more beside...

50 years ago last weekend, Apollo 11 touched down on the lunar surface and the men within it made history. Luke and Pete take some time to celebrate that before Pete then takes it down a 'plane crash videos on youtube' angle, predictably.  After that, a listener gets in touch referencing an animal Luke had never heard of before, another listener blows our minds with a theory about Bryan Adams...

Pete's been hobnobbing with celebrities again, this time around it's The Smashing Pumpkins' Billy Corgan, Primal Scream's Bobby Gillespie, and Bagel Man. Elsewhere, we hear more tales of school injustice, try to work out what went wrong with Judy Finnegan's wardrobe malfunction at the Brit Awards in 2000, and then recount a chilling tale about quicksand just a few miles from where Luke grew up. Te...

We would like to cordially and warmly invite you to the latest episode of The Luke and Pete Show, half an hour in which we discuss Serena Williams, Megan Rapinoe, and Bernie Sanders (a man who Pete, to be absolutely fair to him, does a pretty good impression of), before heading in a different direction to take in the world of statistics, synaesthesia, and sharks. There's plenty from you guys as we...

This episode of The Luke and Pete Show involves a story from Pete Donaldson which beggars belief, and it involves a child at an onsen. An onsen is a hot spring in Japan. Trust us when we say it is remarkable.  Listen out for that, but also listen out for a great email from a listener on the subject of wedding photos, some stuff about scientific discoveries, an interesting theory about the lin...

In which we lament the passing of Eddie the Sea Otter, talk about the nature of time, wonder what's going on with the Stranger Things kids, and try to put together a comprehensive list of animals that have been known to masturbate. There's also something about Quentin Tarantino, but to be honest my notes for this episode are a bit threadbare because Pete wouldn't stop talking about bonobos and it...

After an extended break involving several 'best of' episodes, Pete and Luke are back in the studio and talking through all your old favourites, as well as some new stories besides. This time around we go over Pete's experiences in Japan (clue: it involved a lot of rain), hear about an amazing loophole in the law preventing driving solo in the car pool lane, and marvel at Pete finding himself on th...

Pete and Luke return with their final summer best of. They'll be back this Thursday with more daft nonsense. In this special, Luke submerges himself in a bath of Bannatyne, and a man eats some seriously old scran.  Have you ever eaten anything really old? Email us:  hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It...

Pete and Luke are taking a break for one solitary week (and one normal-sized day) this summer, so Pete's got his razor blade out and sliced up a cheeky little special.  Warning: contains Stewart Donaldson, unleashed and in your ears.  Have you ever been chased with by a man with a machete? Email us:  hello@lukeandpeteshow.com ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Po...

Pete and Luke are taking a break for one solitary week (and one normal-sized day) this summer, so the former has cobbled together a special look back at the first summer of the Luke and Pete show. Don't worry, there's a brand new email about drugs and vultures in the bag too, so don't make that face.  Elsewhere there's Japanese yokai and Buzz Aldrin making a reappearance.  To tell us how...

Lock picking. Fuelling cyclists. Bone conductors. Just three things you better prepare yourself for when you hit play on today's episode of The Luke and Pete Show.  We also take in a truly incredible story about an ill-fated trip to an aquarium, hear yet more of your kebab-related stories, and Pete tells us about his favourite restaurant in Japan. Unsurprising hint: it sounds absolutely appal...

This is an episode of firsts for Mr Pete Donaldson. Within it, we hear of the first time his Dad left him adult-less with only a friend called Fraggle for company, the first time he rode a bike, and, more disturbingly, the first time he realised that elephants have huge breasts. And yes, you read that correctly. There's also time to take in a truly remarkable story about a search party, some furth...

Hello everyone! We're back, and celebrating Boyd Tunnock's knighthood. Richly deserved for a great man who's made a fantastic contribution to society (and Luke's waistline), we're sure you agree. Elsewhere, we find out why the Queen has two birthdays, hear of a man who walks everywhere backwards, debate self-driving cars again, and talk business class on transatlantic flights. There's also plenty...

Hello there, nice to see you. This time around on your hot-off-the-press Luke and Pete Show, Luke's been to the Deep South and has come back as brown as a berry, Tom Cruise has had a gauntlet laid down to him by Justin Bieber, and we have a man who has suffered an unfortunate event just before his wedding. Elsewhere there's prosecco with watch batteries in it, Disney chat, and another story about...

Hear the one about the vegan man who turned meat-eater? It's not gone down terribly well, as you can probably imagine. We discuss that on today's episode and lots more - some new kids games are brought to the table including the legendary Kerby, we get a Muswell Hill Hostelries update, and we chat about Quentin Tarantino. There's also some Richard Ashcroft debate, and the recommending of another p...

What's it like to live off-grid for nearly 80 years? And could Pete Donaldson do it? Just two of the things we're investigating on today's episode, along with a man who went the extra mile to ensure his children always enjoyed their birthdays, and an impromptu edition of Kids Say The Funniest/Creepiest Things. Elsewhere there's a lot of kebab shop chat, including Pete predictably trying to order a...

Good morning and a very warm welcome to your latest instalment of The Luke and Pete Show. To take you through to the end of the working week, the two chaps are handing out their usual anecdotes and listener stories, which this week include an encounter with the Royal Family, a beluga whale update, and a woman with very dry eyes. There's lots more besides, so get your download on! To get in touch,...