The Luke and Pete Show

On Thursday, we heard all about Pete’s trip to St. Lucia. It’s now Luke’s turn to update us on his holiday antics. He may not have had an encounter with a pear but he did meet a real-life turtle. However, that moment was not as magical as it sounds either.  We then find time to read a few emails in relation to things “getting lopped off.” You can thank Pete for that one. Do you have any stori...

The two busy young thrusting executives you have access to have returned from their holidays. On today's show, we address the rumour that Pete went on holiday to a swingers retreat. But before that, we had to hear about a car bootist’s dream purchase. There is also a VERY special treat contained in our email section. Trust us, you don't want to miss it... Do you have a question you would like to s...

New week, same Pete Donaldson, who is back reading stuff out from Reddit. Today’s topics include - Elton John, Voldermort laughing in different languages and Wrestlemania, which Pete is lucky enough to be visiting. In the second half, Luke has a big conspiracy theory relating to Wetransfer and the emails help us uncover that the outlaw mod hairdresser may have returned. To get in touch with the sh...

We’ve neglected our duty on the Luke and Pete Show. It’s been a month since the Winter Olympics and we still haven’t spoken about the man with the frozen penis. We can only apologise. That aside, Luke tells us about the infamous soda drinking black bear, Hank the Tank, and we watch some ducks “annihilate” a bowl of peas. Do you have your own animal-related story? Email hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or...

Pete went to the arcade at the weekend and it turns out he is very good at the coconut shy. He's now rich with arcade tickets – just a shame that he can’t use them to buy his pub. Elsewhere, Luke revels in the joys of a Danish goose parade and we try to settle two mysteries: do billionaires have enough money and what really happens in Berghain? Do you know what really happens in Berghain? Email he...

Breaking news, Luke has officially been added to the neighbourhood Whatsapp group. A major development in local news that can only be topped by the fact that Pete might be buying a pub.  In the emails, we have some slightly strange chat about Super Mario’s nipples and there are some developments in our mission to find the most famous Eileen. Do you have any advice for Pete about buying a pub?...

Happy Birthday Albert Einstein! We celebrate this special occasion by hearing about how Wayne Rooney was knocked out by fellow footballer Phil Bardsley during an after hours boxing match… Plus, we read a couple of emails relating to Only Fools and Horses-themed outlets and Luke reveals that Pete’s got a deep dark secret concerning Peaky Blinders. Do you want to share your deep dark secrets? Email:...

Small people are being verbally attacked by pro gamers and Pete is reeling. REELING. This begs the question: what would Pete be like if he was 6'3? We also consider the amazing world of Pokémon and get an update on the alternative versions of TV shows in China. Oh, and Pete has an interesting new email topic… Have you ever had anything lopped off before? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can...

Pete’s well-publicised tax issues have led to Luke coming up with a genius money-making scheme for the pair of them. Warning, it involves NFTs and some sensitive Donaldson content… We also hear about some of our good deeds that have gone wrong and finally finish our hand-hurting emails.  What to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or...

Is Luke a Giant Wotsit, a Wheat Crunchie, a Frazzle, or all of the above? The answer lies in today's show... Plus, more hand-hurting emails! We discuss sitting an exam with broken fingers and a drunken accident when someone tried to sneak in without waking up their parents. Any advice for sneaking in after a few drinks? Let us know, email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitt...

Pete’s living in his own world and he’s making the rules, which makes for one scary society if we’re honest. We hear all about the rules in his kingdom and they are as expected.... interesting.   In the second half, we finally get round to our hand hurting special and warning, it's not for the faint heart. We hear about a medical marvel of a pinky and an unfortunate story relating to con...

Luke is looking resplendent in a shacket on today’s show. That being said, he wasn’t looking so good when he waded through the mud to watch Rocket from the Crypt at Glastonbury ‘98. In other news, Luke’s still not over Pete ruining Game of Thrones for him and we managed to find some time to try and enter some new players into our big battery database.  Think you can contribute a new player to...

Luke and Pete are attempting to take on fashion today, although it ends up being more of a fashion disaster (we’ll let you decide if that’s a surprise). We hear all about the lads' suit dilemmas and some of their worst haircuts. We then have a listener claim he witnessed a panther attack in England. Don’t worry, we were sceptical too. Send us your most far fetched (but real) stories, email: hello@...

Luke and Pete have been busy in cyberspace since the last show as they finally managed to find time to play PUBG together. If only Pete still didn’t have his driver's licence, he might have spent less time blowing Luke’s cover by driving vehicles. Pete's then "delighted" as we get stuck into the world of Only Fools and Horses merchandise and as promised he tells us about all the birds that fell ou...

Pete’s health problems are raging on worse than ever thanks to an attack from an old jumper. However, Luke helpfully has a suggestion which might improve Pete’s health going forward… Potato milk! In the emails we finally get to the bottom of Episode 140 “Horses can’t vomit” (aka the missing episode) and the truth of the matter is far more harrowing than we expected. Remember to tune in next time t...

Welcome to Thursday’s Luke and Pete Show. Today's big news is that Fight Club has a new ending in China! More predictably, Pete's still not watched Yellow Jackets and he also once “clouted” a Hollywood actress with his dodgem car. In the emails, we also have an Egyptian contender for the most scenic commute.  Do you have a scenic commute? Let us know, email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you c...

It’s going to be a hot boy summer for Pete Donaldson because indie sleaze is back! Donald Trump is also back with his weird word pronunciations – and Pete may or may not have discovered his maddest one yet.   After the break, we dig into the ongoing drama surrounding the missing episode and hear about another famous Eileen. Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow...

It’s a transformational show for Pete today. He opens it with a major announcement about a seismic change he has made to his life. What's more, we then hear there's been an enormous change to the aesthetic of his alter ego, Diggory.  Finally, we have a delightful email relating to night-out shortcuts and getting attacked by big cats. We want to hear your stories relating to best/worst night-o...

Here at The Luke and Pete Show people look to us as the leading spokespeople in podcasting on social etiquette. Today we confront our biggest challenge yet and face up to the issue of night-out etiquette. Once we’ve solved that, Luke gives us a rundown on The Apprentice and we discuss whether men can breastfeed. We love to read out your stories on the show. Get in touch, email: hello@lukeandpetesh...

Welcome back! We start today’s show in the most obvious place: Shania Twain’s Wikipedia. We then take a deep dive into a series of film and TV reviews before hearing about Pete’s Eye of Sauron. We’ll let you decide if that's a euphemism. Finally, we have time for battery brands and hear about some of Luke’s lookalikes.  Know anyone who looks like Luke? Let us know, email: hello@lukeandpetesho...

It’s Monday, on today’s show Pete is very upset after hearing Logan Paul has been having issues with his rare Pokémon cards. Before we know it we're discussing deep state conspiracies and QAnon, obviously.  Luke then brings us back down to earth by telling us about ostriches that escaped from a zoo and in the emails we discuss acceptable bus etiquette. Do you need us to solve any other social...

Here we go, it's the day you have all been waiting for: today we finally announce the results of our big battery poll and reveal whether “Aerolatte” AAs will be received as a new player into our battery database. *drumroll please* But before that, conversation turns to the hazy world of UFOs and the Happy Mondays. Two naturally related topics, of course. Your stories are key to The Luke and Pete S...

This week, we start our NFTs special in the most logical place: Pete’s dad’s local pub. Once that is covered, we get back on track (slightly) by hearing about a woman who is NFTing her own farts.  We also hear from some people that actually know about NFTs and there's an email about Ninjas. Got a story you think we might like to hear? Email hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on...

Pete has been doing some “work” research by checking out Spotify's back catalogue of erotic podcasts. He reportedly hasn’t managed to find a Hero Quest episode yet, but we’ll keep you updated. We then discuss the prospect of replacing meat with bugs and there is some major controversy in our mission to enter some new players into the game. Do you have any thoughts on our battery protocol? Email: h...

It’s a new week and Luke has arrived with a story about how he chucked his Christmas tree out of the window. However, that has nothing on Pete’s chat about his New Year with a surgeon he has access to. Cue a full studio meltdown. Once the lads have calmed down, they find time to read an email about car theft and wheel locks. It’s good advice, really. If you want to share some good advice with The...