The Luke and Pete Show

Pete’s got a brand-new pup! On today’s episode, he “reviews” his new furry companion much to the astonishment of Luke.  Elsewhere, we hear how our new passion for Lime bikes is influencing our listeners and our mission to make Prime uncool spreads across the Atlantic… Are you helping us make Prime uncool? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukea...

Pete's a renaissance man. Or is he a Tudor? Who bloody cares?! Either way, he tells us all about his most recent role-playing exploits on today's episode. We also hear about his quite bizarre and utterly on brand journey to Wembley and Luke explains why a previously unknown elderly gentleman has been dancing around his house. It's just another Thursday really. Join us! Want to contact the sho...

Pete’s 41, wearing a heart monitor, had a recent near-death experience in the ocean... and he’s drinking a bottle of Prime! If Prime isn't uncool now then I don’t think it ever will be. A massive thanks to our listener Noah for sending us our first case of Prime. The revolution starts here - join us! Want to join the revolution? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter o...

Archaeologists have dug up a 2,000-year-old Roman sex toy - those naughty Romans! On today’s episode, we have a plausible theory about who it belonged to. Additionally, Pete’s been given access to a puppy! He’s also been given access to a heart monitor and – amazingly – he starts to take it apart live on the show. It wasn’t worth it for the batteries he found inside… Want to contact the show? Emai...

The streets are paved with chocolate! Didn’t you know? That's what Pete thinks anyway. Listen in to see how he tries to explain this one... Elsewhere, we discuss the possibility that UFOs are flying over America and – shockingly – Luke appears to be sympathetic towards a group of so-called ‘conspiracy theorists’. You really have to hear it to believe it. Want to contact the show? Email: hello@luke...

Luke has discovered the 19th-century version of Pete Donaldson. You’ll never guess his profession… Pete then airs his dirty laundry with Luke following comments about his clothes, Luke continues to air his dirty laundry with Thames Water, and both lads air their dirty laundry with pop-punk covers. Have any dirty laundry to air? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or...

Pete’s been on Facebook Marketplace again… What he’s found is predictably strange and, of course, unnecessarily explicit. Once we’ve recovered from that, we then host our very own email read-out festival headlined by petrol pumps, an atomic wedgie gone wrong and Tamagotchis. It’s a beautiful lineup! What to be on the lineup for our next festival? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can ge...

Today’s episode sees the boys confronted with the disturbing fact that sloths used to be over six feet tall. And if that isn’t enough to get pulses racing, Luke discusses outdated pagan rituals before Pete reviews the autobiography of Hacksaw Jim Duggan. There’s also drama in the much-loved battery section due to a contested new player causing havoc… Wa...

Pete’s been on holiday. Unfortunately, he didn’t see another pear but he did come face to face with the prospect of death. Yes, really. Poor Petey. Meanwhile, a listener experienced more weird behaviour at the hands of everyone’s favourite furniture store, and Luke’s delighted to find out the chat about bin men has made it all the way to America. Want to get in touch...

Luke starts the show with the sad news that his toaster has finally broken after nine years of service. Amazingly, this foreshadows what turns out to be a very dramatic and abrupt ending to today’s show. Elsewhere, we hear 2023 predictions from journalists writing in 1923 and we’re not kidding when we say some of them are INSANE! Anyone for a kidney cosy? What are your predictions for 3033? Email:...

Luke's redecorating his house. Should he make wallpaper out of screenshots of his best tweets? The answer is obviously yes. Elsewhere, Pete reveals he's never seen School of Rock and we hear about a Mafia boss that survived 30 years on the run. We'll let you decide which piece of news is more shocking... Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch o...

What do you eat at the cinema? Popcorn? Nachos? Maybe a hot dog? Well, if you’re Pete Donaldson you eat a fish sandwich… of course! As well as discovering that on today’s show, we also call out the news outlet that tried to claim the atomic wedgie was the cause of a terrible crime. Luke then relives his youth as he teaches Pete all about infamous playground punishments. What playground punishments...

In some classically poor Luke and Pete Show admin, Luke has a gift for Pete on today's show that he was due to give him 2 months ago. In similarly poor levels of admin, Pete gets a takeaway delivered to him in the middle of today’s recording and an anonymous listener gets in touch to tell us that they worked for a delivery company that accidentally managed to lose half a million quid. Oh dear… Do...

Do you remember when everyone knew each other’s blood type and bin men collected your rubbish every day? Life was better in the 90s! Elsewhere on today’s show, Pete takes a break from remembering the good old days to get erotic in the battery section and we discuss the “King of Billingsgate” aka Britain’s most famous fishmonger. But seriously, bin men used to cook you breakfast every single mornin...

Pete’s New Year’s resolution no. 387: Get into running. Today, we hear all about how he is approaching the task with a predictable amount of chaotic energy. Elsewhere, a listener is ready to join our revolution against Wayfair after having a nightmarish experience while buying a sofa and we receive an update on our friend Herald who brought a hammer to Christmas. Want to join the revolution? Email...

Pete’s New Year’s resolutions keep coming! His latest one requires him to spend a predictable amount of time on his own in a dark room… Elsewhere, Luke gets a taste of his own medicine while trying to sell some furniture online and we sympathise with a listener that likes to chew sponges. Have any weird cravings? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lu...

Pete's made his new years resolution - just a week late - and it turns out that KSI and Logan Paul are now quaking in their boots... Elsewhere, Pete gives a potential untrustworthy film recommendation and Luke opens up a consumer advice service after he has a run-in with a major department store. Have any consumer rights issues needing solved? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in tou...

A walrus ended Scarborough’s New year celebrations in a shockingly explicit way. Not a good omen for the year ahead. To start 2023 off on a better note, the Battery Daddies kick off another year of reviewing cells by reading out our Christmas Day submissions! Pete also goes to war with all Scandinavian bands from the 90s. Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in...

Happy new year! Luke and Pete kick off 2023 with a tight eight minutes on rug doctors, obviously… And just as we think this year can’t get any better, we hear about a man who got a WWI bomb stuck up his bum and we ask AI to predict what the new year has in store for the lads. Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpetesho...

Pete's fed up of Luke's quaint highlights of the year, so today, the gloves are off as we complete our review of 2022. Elsewhere, Pete declares that his Fiat 500 is the world’s first three trillion dollar car and the lads also discover it’s possible to feel emotion towards a piece of tech on the surface of Mars. Thank you from Luke, Pete and the whole of the Stak team for all your support througho...

Will Smith slapping Chris Rock, the roof of the O2 ripping off and erm, Liz Truss… These are just a few of the mental things that have happened this year. Today, Luke has prepared a game to take Pete through the highlights and lowlights of another unprecedented year in the simulation. Strap in! Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagr...

Today’s a great day for rats, as listener Louise delivers some good news on whether Pete should buy his mum one for Christmas. Elsewhere, we read your festive traditions, which include some top-tier dad behaviour, and we applaud anyone who wants to spend Christmas swinging a hammer about having pissed their pants. Have a great Christmas! Love from The Luke and The Pete. Want to contact the show? E...

Christmas is just around the corner. As the preparations ramp up make sure you DO NOT drink that two-litre bottle of Fanta that has been bought for Christmas day. Elsewhere, we hear about a man that has found the baby Jesus in a pack of Revels and Luke educates Pete about some of the weirdest and most wonderful Christmas traditions from around the world. Want to contact the show? Email: hello@luke...

Feeling the cold this winter but also worried about the cost of living? Buy yourself an aga... apparently. Elsewhere, we plan our move into meme consultancy and pay homage to local radio in our own unique way. Want to contact the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. The Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny...

We’ve all been there: 18 years old and looking for a place to cause mischief, what do you do? Buy a boat, apparently… Luke tells us a brilliant tale about all that on today’s show! We then give our further thoughts on the new Cocaine Bear movie and reach the reasonable conclusion that all films should be more like Die Hard. We still want you to send your Christmas stories! Email: hello@lukeandpete...