The Loving Truth

“We need to talk.” Do those four dreaded words sound familiar? They usually lead to defensive feelings and another argument with your spouse. But you two have been stuck in limbo for a while now. You really need to sit down and have that difficult conversation you may have been putting off about moving forward (or not) in your marriage. So, how do you approach this much-needed conversation without...

If you’ve been with someone for a while, you have certain ways you typically engage with one another. While some of these patterns of engagement are helpful and work for you, others can be destructive. Having the same destructive patterns re-occur creates greater disconnection and dysfunction in your relationship. Once you are aware of them, though, you can change them. But how do you become aware...

You’ve seen those TV or radio shows with experts taking calls, right? They answer questions from people about their financial issues, parenting problems, and other topics. Today, for the first time, I’m doing my own version of that and taking calls to answer your questions about your greatest relationship challenges. In this episode of The Loving Truth podcast, you’ll learn the answers to the foll...

Marriage is forever...or so you’ve been taught. You can change (or end) other things like jobs and even other relationships, but marriage is “sacred.” And because you’ve been indoctrinated with this, the notion of ending your marriage can carry all kinds of bad feelings--sadness, guilt, feelings of failure, and so on. But what if you accepted the idea that relationships are meant to be im permanen...

You’ve made the decision to divorce your spouse. Perhaps you’ve already had the first difficult conversation about it. But then...you get stuck. You stall and don’t file the papers. This can last for weeks, months, or even years! People tend to think getting a divorce is a straight-lined process. And when they discover it isn’t and go into stall mode, they can beat themselves up over it. It’s not...

“Why isn’t my husband invested in making our marriage feel good? Why is it always on me?” This is something I hear from women all the time! It’s something I’ve asked myself. In this episode, I’ll decipher this very real phenomenon and explore ways you can work to change this dynamic in your own marriage.  Be prepared to dive deep… We’re going to consider the very real foundations of society’s uneq...

From the outside, Mary had the perfect life: She was a successful mother, wife, and college professor. But from the inside, Mary felt lonely and disconnected in her marriage.  When her affair started, Mary thought, “This is it! This is the answer. I have to leave my husband for this man… because this is what makes me feel alive!” But I say, “Not so fast!” It’s not so simple. (It’s not that easy.)...

I regularly share Cold Hard Truths with my clients (and on this podcast!) But in this episode, I’m sharing one of THE most important ones you need to know. Even if it’s not something you WANT to know… Even if it’s not something you’ll WELCOME with open arms…  Listen in to learn the Cold Hard Truth that’s vital to understand for couples and people in long-term relationships. If you’re struggling to...

Arguments between partners are completely normal, even necessary within intimate relationships. If you’re not arguing (at least occasionally!) you’re not talking about the important stuff. The problem is NOT that we argue with our partners... the problem is that we never learned how to argue. If you’re in a committed relationship, you’re going to experience disagreements and arguments. This episod...

 Relationships are a core priority (particularly for women), which is why disconnection from our most intimate partner leads to so many problems.     Disconnection leads to resentment leads to blame and opposition.      How can you rebuild the connection… when you’ve got one foot out the door?     In this episode, I’ll explain what it takes. You’ll walk away knowing the 5 most common things that o...

Making the choice to leave your marriage takes a very long time. You try and try again.  When one person finally makes the decision to leave and the other person claims to have been “blindsided”… can that really be true?  In this episode I’ll answer the question, “Were you blindsided… or were you just blind?” (Thank you to Kelsea Ballerini’s Blindsided lyrics for this episode’s title inspiration!)...

Can you consider the “lessons” you learned from your affair relationship? I know this might push your trigger points… but I invite you to open to the possibility. Yes, affairs are complicated and messy. Yes, affairs cause pain and monumentally impact our families. But in this episode, I invite you to consider the lessons you can learn from an affair relationship (and the gifts these lessons might...

This episode is especially for those of you who have already made the decision to leave your marriage or relationship… but feel wobbly in the execution.  This is important: Your partner doesn’t have to understand or agree with your reasons for leaving. Yes, the emotional unwinding of your relationship will be difficult, but that’s not a “good enough” reason to invalidate your own pain… to remain c...

What happens to your brain when you’re falling in love (and into an affair relationship) is the same thing that happens to your brain on drugs. The good news is: You’re NOT addicted to your affair partner. You’re addicted to the feeling of falling in love. In this episode, I’ll explain why that matters and what to do about it! If you’re struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage a...

Understanding the opposite sex can be difficult, but ONLY because we don’t know the science behind our natural (and vital!) differences.  Yes, men and women are scientifically different. Like it or not: That’s the reality. We can keep pushing against this (and fighting miscommunication with endless conflict…) OR, we can accept and appreciate it. In this episode, I’ll explain how! If you’re struggl...

Married men are being called to “awaken” inside relationships in a way that hasn’t happened before. That’s a very good thing!  And yet, rates of divorce (and the number of affairs) remain as high as ever.  In this episode, I’ll explain why I think this is happening, PLUS what we can do about it. If you’re struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding...

Are today’s women satisfied with cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids in exchange for protection and provision? The answer is no. It is clear that in today’s times, women can take care of themselves, and simply being the provider of the family is not enough to sustain a good marriage as a man.   In this episode, we will explore the question: what do women really want in a relationship? N...

Have you had an affair and wondered if you could have a fresh start with your affair partner? Maybe you’ve seen the statistics - which aren’t helping your optimism. What does it take to make that affair relationship last? And will it be worth it in the long run? In this episode, we will explore why people get into affairs in the first place, and what you are really looking for. The truth is, when...

Do you ever feel disconnected in your relationship, like there’s a gap between you and your spouse? Are you stuck repeating boring conversations about work, the kids, and the weather without any real connection? If so, you’re not alone - and the solution may be the opposite of what you think. Here’s the key: complaining does not work on men. Women understand that language, but most of the time, me...

Have you heard that date night solves everything, nothing should feel awkward after you’re married, or you should never argue with your spouse? If you have, you’re not alone! Despite being well-meaning, people often perpetuate 7 relationship myths that aren’t true for some - if not most - relationships. But the question remains - what does work when you’ve hit a rough patch? The truth is, most sol...

Does your partner ever say, “my love for you will never change”? Doesn’t that feel terribly romantic? However, unfortunately, this phrase, along with a few others, can be a sign of unhealth in your marriage, pointing to bigger problems around priorities and how you consider your spouse. In this episode, I explore three phrases that can be signs of marriage unhealth and explain why they unnecessari...

Are you a driven, type-A, get-things-done kind of woman? So am I, and I have found that, although these masculine qualities serve me well in my career and other areas of my life, I often find it hard to tap into my essential feminine side in my relationship. Whether you are the alpha or beta partner in your marriage, you have to learn to turn your masculine-feminine dials for optimum pleasure and...

Do you feel as if the spark has gone out in your marriage? Do you wonder where that magical attraction you initially felt disappeared to? Well, here’s the secret - there was never any “magic” outside your control. You can bring that spark back to your marriage today. In this episode, I explore what makes a relationship feel “magical” and how you can keep that dopamine and excitement flowing in you...

Even in faithful relationships, we still betray each other day in and out, even if we don’t call it a betrayal. How is that so? Well, betrayal can come in a variety of different forms, including any breach of trust. So how do you rebuild that trust? In this episode, I will explain how we betray one another in our most intimate relationships and what contributes to continued breaches of trust. We w...

So your partner had an affair. What do you do now? Whether an emotional or physical betrayal, any loss of trust is a big deal, and many partners find themselves desperately monitoring their spouse’s every move and venting to their friends and family. But the question remains - if you want to make the marriage work, how are you going to rebuild that trust? In this episode, I will explain how microm...