The Long Watch

You know what the real monsters are? They’re Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson. They got claws. They got antennas. They got multiple eyes. They got pincers. And they walk sideways at times. Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchLawson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchJeaun⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Forgive Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson if they’re not trembling in their BOOTIES! ALSO DISCUSSED * Coyote vs. Acme (2026) * Resident Evil (2026) Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchLawson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchJeaun⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson are guessing you’re not an A-negative blood type, mate. ALSO DISCUSSED * Hope (2026) Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchLawson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchJeaun⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

So… one day I was selling my wares, and I walked past this old creepy castle. And I look at it and think… “Very old and creepy.” And then these creatures fly at me! They dragged me back to this dark dungeon and bit into my neck. And just at the point of death, these creatures forced me to suck their foul blood. And then, they opened their wings like this and hovered above me, screeching, “Now you...

Sorry, Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson are Schmuel in this story!? They’re not the girl from Odessa? ALSO DISCUSSED * American Vandal: Season 2 (2018) * The Last Czars (2019) PITH TAKES * Argylle (novel, 2024) * Death of a Salesman (play, 1949) * Kingsman: The Golden Circle – The Official Movie Novelisation (novel, 2017) Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠...

In Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson’s line of work, you tend not to give a s—t what a bottom-feeder like yourself thinks about anything. ALSO DISCUSSED * American Vandal: Season 1 (2017) * Clue (1985) PITH TAKE * The Ghost of Tom Joad (album, 1995) Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchLawson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchJeaun⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

This war has made Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson realize that we cannot rely on politicians to do their job properly. ALSO DISCUSSED * Widow’s Bay: Season 1 (2026) PITH TAKE * The Gospel According to Paul (stage play, 2019) * Human Touch (album, 1992) * Lucky Town (album, 1992) Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchLawson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson would never shoot Mr Pickles! ALSO DISCUSSED * Disclosure Day (2026) * Spider-Man: Brand New Day (2026) PITH TAKE * & Juliet (stage musical, 2019) Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchLawson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchJeaun⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson rather fancied a future as colourful megalomaniacs. ALSO DISCUSSED * Batman: Caped Crusader – Season 2 (2026) * Spider-Man: Brand New Day (2026) PITH TAKE * Tunnel of Love (album, 1987) Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchLawson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchJeaun⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson are topping from the bottom. ALSO DISCUSSED * Masters of the Universe (2026) * The Odyssey (2026) PITH TAKES * The Book of Mormon (stage musical, 2011) * Born in the U.S.A. (album, 1984) * The Worlds of John Wick: The Year’s Work at the Continental Hotel (essay collection, 2022) Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchLawson...

Master sleeps in Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson’s bed. ALSO DISCUSSED * Kink (2013) * Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere (2025) PITH TAKE * Nebraska (album, 1982) Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchLawson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchJeaun⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson have never taken anyone in the helicopter. Ever. Only you. ALSO DISCUSSED * American Experience: Citizen King (2004) * American Experience: Malcolm X – Make It Plain (1994) * Evil Dead Burn (2026) * Fifty Shades Uncovered (2015) * The Mandalorian: Season 3 (2023) PITH TAKE* The River (album, 1980) Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lo...

Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson love you, Bunny Monkey! ALSO DISCUSSED * Scary Movie 2 (2001) PITH TAKE * Danse Macabre (1981, non-fiction book) Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchLawson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchJeaun⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

You must have known, when you put Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson in that hole, you couldn’t hold them there forever. ALSO DISCUSSED * 4 Little Girls (1997) * Disclosure Day (2026) * Supergirl (2026) Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchLawson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LongWatchJeaun⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Wait. Are you saying Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson killed the dinosaurs? ALSO DISCUSSED * American Experience: The Blinding of Isaac Woodard (2021) PITH TAKES * 1898 (audio drama, 1998) * Beetlejuice (stage musical, 2018) * Hamlet (play, 1600 or 1601) * Inside North Korea (radio documentary collection, 2021) * Unruly: The Ridiculous History of England’s Kings and Queens (nonfiction book, 2023) Remembe...

Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson never had any f—king rights and never will! ALSO DISCUSSED * American Experience: American Coup – Wilmington 1898 (2024) * Assassins (2020) * Backrooms (2026) * Dennis Rodman’s Big Bang in Pyongyang (2015) * Project Almanac (2015) * Pussy Riot: A Punk Prayer (2013) * They Will Kill You (2026) Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠LongWatchLawson⁠⁠⁠...

Never go into a place that doesn’t have more than one exit. Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson are very slow, but they’re not dumb. Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠⁠ ⁠⁠LongWatchLawson⁠⁠ ⁠⁠LongWatchJeaun⁠⁠

Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson still love each other. That’s what they’re best at. ALSO DISCUSSED * The Boys: Season 5 (2026) * The Christophers (2025) * The Lovers & the Despot (2016) * Send Help (2026) * Spider-Noir: Season 1 (2026) Remember to follow us on Letterboxd ⁠LongWatchHarlly⁠ ⁠LongWatchLawson⁠ ⁠LongWatchJeaun⁠

Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson just watched you take your ring off, okay? Don’t be a scumbag. Go home. ALSO DISCUSSED * The Bride! (2026) * The Carpenter’s Son (2025) * The Duke of Burgundy (2014) * Inside North Korea’s Dynasty (2018) * Ironheart (2025) * The Silence of the Lambs (1991) * The Thing (1982) * Timbuktu (2014) PITH TAKES * Six Characters in Search of an Author (play, 1921) * The Spook’s Mi...

In finding Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson, you have found yourself

Do not shush Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson! They have just been spilled upon by a chilled liquid! ALSO DISCUSSED * The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026) * The Incredible Hulk (2008) * Mortal Kombat II (2026) * The Punisher: One Last Kill (2026) * Shrek (2001)

Just one sandwich contains all the vitamins and minerals Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson need for the whole day. ALSO DISCUSSED * Daredevil: Born Again – Season 2 (2026) * Hulk (2003) * Marvel Zombies: Season 1 (2025) * What If…?: Season 3 (2024)

Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson don't care about trains, Mother. They are leading men! ALSO DISCUSSED * Alien (1979) * Team Foxcatcher (2016) *We Bury the Dead (2025)

Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson are just… hanging out with their friends. Yeah. They’ll see you at home soon. ALSO DISCUSSED * Lee Cronin’s The Mummy (2026) * Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) PITH TAKE * Batman: The Knight (comic limited series, 2022)

God help us all. Harlly, Jeaun, and Lawson on trampolines. PITH TAKES * The Spook’s Battle (AKA The Last Apprentice: Attack of the Fiend, novel, 2007) * Three Little Words (play, 2017)