The Liquored Up Low Down: A Bizarre News Podcast

Send us Fan Mail This episode is packed with song and dance and Jell-O shots. We have animal stories, and Bryan talks about his disdain for pickles. The Drink: The Long Island Iced Tea ½ fluid ounce vodka ½ fluid ounce rum ½ fluid ounce gin ½ fluid ounce tequila ½ fluid ounce triple sec (orange-flavored liqueur) 1 fluid ounce sweet and sour mix 1 fluid ounce cola, or to taste 1 lemon slice The Sto...

Send us Fan Mail It's a good thing our mics stifle laughter. Hopefully it's contagious and you laugh with us. Bryan gets really drunk due to a risky cocktails substitution. The Drink: https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/a62599833/cherry-lime-margarita-recipe/ Parking Garage Fiasco:   https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/winnipeg-pedestrian-run-over-st-james-1.7491149 The (Flor...

Send us Fan Mail This week is LULDian to the max: Arson, Tigers, Sex Toys, Boobs and Cats. The Drink: The Negroni https://www.liquor.com/recipes/negroni/ World's First Sperm Race: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2025/04/17/Sperm-Racing-Los-Angeles-Hollywood-Palladium/1181744921463/ Incels and Migrant Wives: https://www.politicalflare.com/2025/04/california-gubernatorial-candidate-threatens-immig...

Send us Fan Mail Our best episode since the break! The Drink: The White Russian https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/222900/white-russian-cocktail/ Police Chief Bob Farley has a lot of explaining to do: https://patch.com/new-jersey/hoboken/police-chief-defecated-office-put-viagra-coffee-nj-cops-claim Boeing Bannis latch issues: https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/ntsb-warns-of-boeing-evacuation-sli...

Send us Fan Mail This one has everything, Vape-agotchis, WTF Texas?, And Dough Ball Clusches. The Drink: The Gin and Tonic https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/49355/gin-and-tonic/ Vape or your Tamagotchi will die: https://screenshot-media.com/culture/internet-culture/new-york-vaping-invention-tamagotchi/ Public lagoon sex: https://nypost.com/2025/03/26/lifestyle/couple-caught-having-sex-at-family-sw...

Send us Fan Mail Virginia Zoo responds to gorilla escape rumors: 'we don't have those':   https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2025/03/14/Virginia-Zoo-escaped-gorilla-hoax/9441741983178/ A Diamond in the Rough: https://thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/gilder-follow-285937 Dogs can shoot guns: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/memphis-man-says-was-shot-dog-lying-bed-rcna196189 The great...

Send us Fan Mail #DroppingThingsOnYourFoot https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/national/24956420.tiktokers-dropping-heavy-objects-feet-viral-trend-risk-lifetime-pain/ Valentine's Day "in Paris" . . . oh wait . . . murder? https://people.com/man-allegedly-killed-wife-reaction-valentines-day-plans-police-11683783 Soon Bang tells you "soon bang": https://nj1015.com/woman-name...

Send us Fan Mail The end is nigh, according to AI: https://www.ladbible.com/news/world-news/scientists-computer-modelling-technology-ai-society-collapse-920494-20250207 "Bet you I can dodge a bullet mother fucker.": https://www.abc4.com/news/wasatch-front/arrest-dodge-bullets/ The Lake of Death (and the Lesser Flamingo): https://www.ladbible.com/community/weird/deadliest-lake-natron-secr...

Send us Fan Mail Cholesterol is a bitch: https://www.fox13news.com/news/man-eating-6-9-pounds-butter-cheese-day-develops-cholesterol-hands-while-carnivore-diet-jama McAffee comes back from the dead: https://mashable.com/article/john-mcafee-aintivirus-memecoin The F1 Dream Trip; Wife says FU: https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/im-taking-dream-trip-female-34524795 Liar, liar, pants...

Send us Fan Mail The drink: The Gimlet: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/gimlet/ Bears and Rolls Royces and Mercedeses, oh my! https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/nov/14/california-bear-costume-car-insurance-fraud Florida man has secret underground lair: https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article298231938.html Monkeys escape (our theory is they used the "3 monkeys in a trenchco...

Send us Fan Mail Perhaps there really was an Israeli Mossad Commander whose name translates to "Made A Fart" and he got into military operations because high school was so terribly, terribly hard for him. https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/article-709031 Axes! Coming to a bar near you! https://www.kiro7.com/news/local/state-votes-allow-axe-throwing-businesses-with-liquor-licenses/YKWBQXOD...

Send us Fan Mail In this week's episode, learn about one practically perfect safety product for infants and toddlers, flawless with the exception of one small design flaw: https://www.pennlive.com/life/2022/05/federal-safety-agency-issues-warning-about-babyrescue-rapid-evacuation-devices.html#:~:text=Published%3A%20May.,the%20child%20inside%20the%20bag.%E2%80%9D Already working on the cover a...

Send us Fan Mail Cats are being locked down in a town in Germany because they like to eat endangered birds. At last, we have located the species responsible for environmental problems. Good thing we know where the fault lies!  https://boingboing.net/2022/05/23/cats-put-on-lockdown-in-germany.html  Child abductors beware, you may be exposed to salty language during the commission of your crimes. ht...

Send us Fan Mail In case you didn't know, killing people can be bad for you. The process of body disposal can be quite exerting, so be sure to check with your doctor and ensure you're healthy enough to bury someone before you murder. In other news, you'll be able to rest easy knowing your Parmesan cheese is legit. No more sleepless nights! And listen as we enjoy the freedom of being...

Send us Fan Mail First we talk about two Real Estate Agents who have some sexy times during an alleged Open House. Then we move on to a woman who drove down stairs because her GPS told her to. Florida does not like Farts or Butt stuff on the Vanity plates. We talk about Miska the cat who was a victim of government over-reach. Canada is the first to prosecute crimes . . . on the moon. Our Linktree:...

Send us Fan Mail We're drinking Martini's again, which succeeded in making Tom REALLY drunk. We first talk about a man who drinks his own pee. We then talk about the world's most terrifying teacher. An Art Collector buys a very expensive receipt from invisible art shows from the 50's. We did not know that "Fictosexuals" are really a thing. We close out the show with T...

Send us Fan Mail We first talk about Pit Toilets and how your phone will just be replaced . . . they just give you a new one, right? A Romance Novelist who wrote an essay on how to kill your husband is going on trial for (allegedly) killing her husband. Bryan tells a story about Customer Service at Blockbuster while he was in college.  We then talk about an Anus that is not very smart about fake n...

Send us Fan Mail First, we delve into the cottage industry of being a jerk at Funerals by speaking for the dead and telling the living things they may not know about the deceased. Next we tally up items from the most recent cleanup of Jersey Beaches and count up items from what could be the world's biggest party. Take cover because John Hinckley Jr. is on tour! Let's all go to Cementland...

Send us Fan Mail We start with a hoarder who does a surprisingly good job of burying his mom and his sister. Did you know that most people would be OK with a sex robot as a third partner? There are racists in Canada, and they are not polite. One woman loses her Appendix because she didn't fart around her boyfriend for 2 years. And we close out with a woman who was body checked into pressing t...

Send us Fan Mail Bryan tries to help Tom with his "barking dogs" problem. Did you know that McDonalds locations are part of a 5th Dimensional Plane of existence? Laundering money through Earth, Wind and Fire covers. A racist gets her comeuppance. "Here, you take care of my kids for me while I sleep." A construction worker drops poop from a crane and we ask "why?" for...

Send us Fan Mail We start with The Fajita Thief and talk about what's the Gentlemanly thing to do with $1.2M dollars of Fajitas. Bryan's met Super Mario: the man who jumps cruise ship to cruise ship. Ambassador Kid Rock (thankfully) refrains from telling DJT what do do about North Korea. We talk about a Japanese Man who is paid to be a silent companion for people but ponder what a toll t...

Send us Fan Mail Did you know that snakes can go dormant for years and then bite a mother fucker? Tom brings you your food porn with a pretentious Italian Chef. We throw you some red meat: a Florida Man story about meth and dumbness. Hidden Valley Ranch gets into the jewelry business. They can print balls now! Towards the end of the episode we admit we will sell out and we beg for sponsors. Still...

Send us Fan Mail We start with a harrowing Bus Ride heading down to Robben Island. Fans of money and Cadbury Eggs will like the story about a man who gobbled down a rare Cadbury egg but didn't get the prize money. We then get into our first story about someone putting something up their ass and requiring Medical help (and it probably won't be the last). Our fourth story is a follow up st...

Send us Fan Mail This week we try to find a job for Tom. A man thought a picture of a hipster was a stolen image of him, but it wasn't (the irony!). There is a job opening in Montana as a Bear Whisperer. A dog food company is paying people to sniff their own dog's poop. We discuss whether one can call dibs on baby names (spoiler alert: no, one can't). A St. Louis man tried to photoc...

Send us Fan Mail Did you know that using the wrong incantation as a Priest can make people go to Hell? "I am here for the interview . . . . cool tip jar." Our 3rd story is about attaching the wrong thing to your job application. Fatal attraction out there in Wyoming, PA. What would you change your name to, if you had the chance? Marie Unicorn Sparkles maybe? We also talk about another co...