The Liquored Up Low Down

The Liquored Up Low Down: A Bizarre News Podcast

News EN ↓ 59 episodes

The most entertaining news stories aren't always on page one, and there's a good chance you missed the best of the best. The Liquored Up Low Down collects the finest obscure news stories, steeps them in alcohol, and passes them on to you, so you can stay informed and up to date on the most useless current events of the week. The cocktails are mixed and the Low Down is about to begin!

Author

The Liquored Up Low Down

Episodes

The Cow Costume Murder, The Steroid Olympics, The Boy Band Baby Daddy Caper, Cybertruck vs. Lake, Let's Fix this Pothole with the Truck 07.07.2026 53:45

Send us Fan Mail Lots of murder and cars in this one. The Drink: Old Fashioned: 2oz Bourbon or Rye Whiskey 1.2oz Simple Syrup 2-3 Dashes of Angostura Bitters The Stories: The Cow Costume Murderer: https://www.syracuse.com/state/2026/04/upstate-ny-man-in-cow-costume-accused-of-attempting-to-stab-family-member.html (Two Parter) The Steroid Olympics: Part 1 - https://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/2026/05...

Please Put Your Robot Away, Yet Another Sex Doll Caper, A Social Media Filter Does A LOT of Heavy Lifting, Taco Bell Shootout, "Ballsmaxxing" 23.06.2026 50:48

Send us Fan Mail The Drink - Gin and Tonic: 3 Parts Gin 1 Part Tonic Water The Stories: The Robot Traveller: https://people.com/southwest-customers-experience-one-hour-delay-due-to-an-unusual-robot-passenger-11963941 Translucent Chicken: https://www.odditycentral.com/foods/food-blogger-makes-translucent-fried-chicken-that-looks-like-glass-sculptures.html The Sex Doll Caper: https://pinktentacle.co...

The Voice-Operated Poop Car, I Can Speed Because I Drive a Supra, That's Some Freudian Stuff Right There, 91-Year-Old Grandma Pwns Noobz, The Mayor has No Pants 09.06.2026 49:36

Send us Fan Mail The Drink: The Royal Bermuda Yacht Club: 2 oz rum ¾ oz curacao ¾ oz falernum ¾ oz l ime juice The Stories: The Voice-Operated Poop Car: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c1l92yv4mydo I Can Speed Because I Drive a Supra: https://www.heraldtribune.com/story/news/crime/2026/04/10/drunk-florida-super-speeder-arrested-123-mph-bonita-springs-lee-county-supra/89548383007/ That's S...

Waffle House Teleportation, Vaping Squirrels, Lottery Guy - Robbery Guy, The Easter Bunny Covers His Tracks, Hemingway Could Not Have Written This Better 26.05.2026 56:51

Send us Fan Mail Longest intro ever! The Drink: The Manhattan: 3 oz Rye Whiskey 1 oz Sweet Vermouth 2 Dashes Angostura Bitters The Stories: Waffle House Investigation: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/03/us/fema-gregg-phillips-waffle-house-teleportation.html?unlocked_article_code=1.YlA.ZZqY.Irq7lWLGXjUM&smid=url-share Vaping Squirrels: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/03/25/vaping-squirrel-Lon...

Corn Hole Murder Guy, Let's Learn How Regional Dialects Work, Checking for AI Plagiarism by Using AI to Check for AI Plagiarism and Then Checking That AI for AI Plagiarism 12.05.2026 51:18

Send us Fan Mail Our first ever retraction! The Drink: The Raspberry Cosmo: 2 oz Vodka 1 oz Chambord 3/4 oz Lime Juice The Stories: Boy Kibble: https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2026/mar/25/boy-kibble-viral-meal-trend That's a whole lotta seats for yourself: https://soranews24.com/2020/03/15/osaka-man-reserved-and-cancelled-1873-seats-at-two-baseball-games-to-get-more-space-for-self/ The F...

The Tile Guy and the Van, "Have You Seen My Phone That I Forgot While I Stabbed Someone?", A Comedian Dies in the Woods and Makes a Sound, Honeybucket Conjugal Visit 28.04.2026 55:18

Send us Fan Mail Retraction: Bryan said that the bear in The DeCaprio movie "The Revenant" was played by Andy Serkis. It was not. The bear in "The Revenent" was played by Rugby player Glenn Ennis . Sorry Glenn! The Drink: The Boston Sour The Stories: Bryan's personal story: "The Tile Guy" Bank Robber "Success" https://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/h...

The Honest Drug Smuggler, Ocean's (Flamingo) 11, Don't Try This WFH Trick, The Athletic Director Who is Also a Pimp, Try the AI Version of . . . Your Boss? 14.04.2026 53:00

Send us Fan Mail A few LULD firsts in this one - we didn't like the drink. First time that has happened! The Drink: The Income Tax Cocktail (it was not good): 1 1/2 ounces gin 3/4 ounce dry vermouth 3/4 ounce sweet vermouth 3/4 ounce freshly squeezed orange juice from 1 whole orange 2 dashes Angostura bitters Garnish: orange wheel (optional) The Stories: Camel pageant thrown into chaos after...

The Middle Finger Can Be a Somber Thing, Dogs Get Excited About Everything, A Tale of Murder and Taxes, Crime! Crime!, These Smoke Alarms are Not So Alarming 31.03.2026 46:21

Send us Fan Mail The Drink: The Mini Egg Chocolate Martini: In a blender: 4oz Irish cream 3oz hazelnut liqueur 2oz creme de cacao white liqueur 15 Mini eggs 2oz almond milk 2oz vodka The Stories: Middle Finger Brothers: https://nypost.com/2026/02/13/us-news/colorado-family-ordered-to-remove-brothers-shared-headstone-for-this-reason-its-mind-boggling/ The Dine and Dashers: https://7news.com.au/...

Wait, Are Those Elephants? . . . . Wait, Is That a Crocodile?, The All-AI Social Media Site, Olympic Cheating Goes Next Level, Creepy Noise Revenge, Guy Taunting Police Isn't Exactly Zodiac 17.03.2026 52:06

Send us Fan Mail Happy Valentine's Day! A record for number of AI stories here! The Drink: The Pink Lady 1 1/2 ounces London Dry gin 1/2 ounce applejack 3/4 ounce lemon juice, freshly squeezed 1/4 ounce grenadine 1 egg white Garnish: brandied cherry The Stories: The Elephants are . . . Wait . . . Oh Man! https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/czx1xl98qkpo I wonder if AI Reddit is as Bad as Human...

Swearing Makes You Stronger, The Rubik's Cube Should Keep Aliens Away, Take My Wife So I Can Vacation Here, You Know . . . Lyft Tracks Their Cars, Right? 03.03.2026 48:06

Send us Fan Mail Our 50th episode! More AI fun and no less than two Florida Man/Woman stories! The Drink: The Good Cork 1 ounce single pot still Irish whiskey 1 ounce mezcal 1/2 ounce Benedictine 2 dashes Peychaud’s bitters Garnish: apple slice The Stories: Swearing makes you stronger: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2025/12/251222080123.htm AI Worst in Show: https://www.the-independent.com/...

The Frog Cop Hallucination, This Episode is a Gas, The Drunken Mermaid, The Yearly Butt Insertion Report, Hey Come Back with Our Walrus Penis Bone 17.02.2026 47:53

Send us Fan Mail This episode is a gas! The Drink: The Dramshambo Gin Negroni : 1 oz Drumshanbo Gunpowder Irish Gin 0.25 oz Gracias a Dios Mezcal Espadín 1 oz Aperol 1 oz Lillet Blanc Garnish: orange peel Oak wood chips for smoking Cop "AI's" Into a Frog: https://futurism.com/artificial-intelligence/ai-police-report-frog National Pass Gas Day: https://nationaltoday.com/national-pass...

The 12 Year-Old Assassin, The Liquid Nitrogen Dare, Not a Thief: A Teleporter, Time to Smell the Donuts, There is One AI Not Good at Capitalism 03.02.2026 51:04

Send us Fan Mail Belligerent tidings! The Drink: Egg Nog and Rum (or whatever you like), equal parts. The 12 Year Old Assassin: https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/child-assassin-aged-12-detained-36420862 Liquid Nitrogen Cocktail in Moscow: https://www.dexerto.com/food/man-ruptures-stomach-drinking-celebrity-chefs-liquid-nitrogen-cocktail-3298714/ Teleportation: https://www.clickorlando.c...

The Self Proclaimed Smartest Man in the World, It's Doubtful This Scam Will Work, Crypto Key Holder Had ONE JOB, Taylor the Wolf D.N.G.A.F 20.01.2026 48:36

Send us Fan Mail The Drink: Stout Beer! The Stories: This Guy Proclaims He's Smart: https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/im-worlds-smartest-man-know-36320880 Hello! I'm My Mother, See! https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2025/11/24/son-dresses-as-dead-mother-mrs-doubtfire-pension-scam/ An Update on the Urso-Japanese War: https://www.independent.co.uk/asia/japan/japan-bear-at...

I Stole This Bus to Make All the Normal Stops, This Freaking Guy, ChatGPT Invents Math, The Manchurian Preschooler, Did You Know Ultra-Processed Food Will Kill You? 06.01.2026 50:00

Send us Fan Mail We're not getting any sponsorships from sharks in this episode! The Drink: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/the-paper-plane/ 3/4 ounce bourbon 3/4 ounce Aperol 3/4 ounce Amaro Nonino Quintessentia 3/4 ounce lemon juice, freshly squeezed The Stories: 10 Year Old Drives Himself Home https://local12.com/news/nation-world/wa-wright-elementary-10-year-old-drives-himself-home-from-...

The Urso-Japanese War, The Fedora (Not Florida) Man at the Louvre, Rare Halloocination, Bryan Gives a Tutorial on Whip-its, There is One Kardashian Who Can't Lawyer 23.12.2025 54:09

Send us Fan Mail This one went long, but we cut it back to include the best stuff - we hope you enjoy! The Drink: The drink: The French Martini 2 ounces vodka 1/4 ounce Chambord black raspberry liqueur 1 3/4 ounces pineapple juice The Stories: The Bear-Japanese War: https://www.denvergazette.com/outtherecolorado/2025/11/06/japan-sends-military-to-assist-with-surge-in-bear-attacks-after-12th-fatali...

The Human Butt is a Miracle, Wow That is a lot of Porn, The Smart Bed that isn't Smart at All, Tom is Very Very Old, Conspiracies are Widespread Because Internet 09.12.2025 50:33

Send us Fan Mail Tom is old! The Drink - The Dixie Dew: 1 2⁄3 oz | Bourbon whiskey 1⁄3 oz | Giffard Menthe Pastille white crème de menthe 1⁄3 oz | Cointreau triple sec liqueur 1⁄2 oz | Chilled water (omit if using wet ice) The Stories: Man Stages Funeral: https://obdaily.com/weird/indian-man-stages-his-own-funeral-just-to-see-who-cares/ You Can Breathe Through Your Butt: https://scienceblog.cincin...

The Great Kindergarten Guilt Trip, There is No Way She Went 10 Years Without . . . , We Rid America of the Political Divide, Tom Wins at Trivia x 2! 25.11.2025 58:05

Send us Fan Mail This one went a bit long because we had two Q and A bits that we couldn't cut and they won't disappoint! The Drink: The Oaxaca Old Fashioned: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/oaxacan-old-fashioned/ The Stories: This Happened Because You Wouldn't Buy My Art: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cq8ed2g95zlo Lesson: Don't Confess a Crime to ChatGPT, But You Probably K...

Prepare for RaptureTok, Billboards from a Lisa, Tom and Bryan's Music Podcast, Reese's Pumpkin Fleshlights 11.11.2025 49:28

Send us Fan Mail A very special Birthday episode for Bryan. The Drink: The Churchill The Stories: Now you are prepared: https://www.theautopian.com/psa-in-case-of-rapture-keep-your-sunroofs-or-convertible-tops-open/ Edgar C. Whisenant: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgar_C._Whisenant Marry Lisa: https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area/marry-lisa-highway-101-billboard/ The Partridge Family: https://en....

The Great Slug Chase, How (Not) to Be a Drug Mule, "Beer Run Ken": Crying Kids Sold Separately, Scam From Outer Space 28.10.2025 49:08

Send us Fan Mail Gen X is awesome! The Drink - The Gin Fizz: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/gin-fizz/ The Stories: The Great Slug Chase: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/sep/08/doorbell-prankster-that-tormented-residents-of-german-apartments-turns-out-to-be-a-slug Drug Mule Musings: https://www.kktv.com/2025/09/05/epso-man-admits-having-illegal-drugs-his-car-near-downtown-colorado-springs/ I...

Justin Bieber (Not) in the House, Hooters Just Needs Better Butter, The DA and the Drug Dealer, I Will Have 18,000 Cups of Water Please 14.10.2025 50:31

Send us Fan Mail Bryan does a next-level accent in this one! The Stories: Not Justin Bieber: https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2025/08/19/justin-bieber-impersonator-las-vegas-club/85721536007/ Man Caught in Slide: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/40yearold-man-rescued-getting-stuck-connecticut-playground-slide-rcna226463 Hooters just needs better butter: https://nypost.c...

The French Know How to Mourn, Diving Deep Into Douchbro Culture, A Treatise on Hooters, Turns Out Tom and Bryan Are More Evolved 30.09.2025 48:25

Send us Fan Mail There's a nice out-take in here you don't want to miss! Stories: Tomb of the Unknown Cigarette Lighter: https://www.rfi.fr/en/france/20250806-man-arrested-after-lighting-cigarette-using-french-war-memorial-flame Cybertruck Driver Does Not Deny He Has a Small Penis: https://wtop.com/dc/2025/08/virginia-man-seeks-help-finding-the-woman-who-vandalized-his-tesla-cybertruck/...

I'm Suing . . . Coldplay?, Serial Butt-sniffing is a Thing, A Cat Knows His Gucci, Exaggerated Numbers Going Down Doesn't Work Because Math 16.09.2025 54:19

Send us Fan Mail The Drink: Beer from your local Brewery. The Tea App in Two Parts: Part 1: https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/women-are-anonymously-spilling-tea-men-cities-viral-app-rcna220681 Part 2: https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/social-media/tea-app-hacked-13000-photos-leaked-4chan-call-action-rcna221139 I'm Suing . . . Coldplay: https://www.ndtv.com/entertainment/ex-astronomer-ceo-andy...

The Time Travel Love Triangle, Man Moves to Russia for Freedom, Tom's Epic Rant, (Not) Everyone's Favorite MILF 02.09.2025 55:42

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Tom goes on an epic rant that made editing harder for Bryan, but the final product is, we hope, quite funny. The B and B (Brandy or Bourbon and Benedictine): https://www.thespruceeats.com/brandy-and-benedictine-recipe-759285 The Stories: No more Red Pandas as Wake Up Calls: https://www.nbcnews.com/world/china/china-red-panda-wake-call-service-hotel-viral-video-red...

A Bed That's Also a Tank, A Felon Reports His Own Felony and Commits Another Felony, A Hospital That's Also a Waterpark 19.08.2025 57:07

Send us Fan Mail The Drink: The Fitzgerald: https://www.foodandwine.com/fitzgerald-cocktail-recipe-8692781 The Stories: TSA urges people to stop trying to use a Costco card as a sufficient REAL ID: https://www.wsfa.com/2025/06/06/tsa-urges-people-stop-trying-use-costco-card-sufficient-real-id/#jws1au56yepvkb57za6d23t2eoolh67 We're married? https://www.klfy.com/national/texas-woman-arrested-we...

DJ Can Collector, Wedding Guns and Lambos, Amazon's Peeing Robots, Louisiana Bans Chemtrails 05.08.2025 49:16

Send us Fan Mail We list off some of the worst songs ever. Later, Bryan does one of his impressions! The Drink: The Piña Colada 1/2 medium lime 1/2 cups frozen pineapple chunks (about 2 1/2 ounces) 3 ounces well-stirred coconut cream (not cream of coconut) 2 ounces white rum 2 ounces simple syrup But it all in a blender and enjoy! DJ Can Collector: https://www.oddee.com/australian-man-buys-a-house...