The Kink Consultant

Episode 43 - What really goes on behind the velvet curtain of a New York City dungeon? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I catch up with my longtime friend and former dungeon-mate Mistress Verna to spill the tea on our years working as professional dominatrixes in one of the city's most infamous kink spaces. We get into everything they don't show you in the movies — the hazing ritual...

Episode 42 -Why is it so hard to talk about sex, even with people we trust? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by Tess and Kels, co-founders of Squirm and co-hosts of the Porn Nerds podcast, to explore how we can make sex ed not just informative but also sexy, playful, and actually useful. We dive into their journey from coworkers to creative collaborators, their mission to destigm...

Episode 41 -What actually allows us to feel safe in relationships? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by Aubrey Aust, a Master’s student at NYU researching relational safety, who explores themes of attachment styles, somatics, and kink to examine the systems and sensations that shape how we connect with others. We talk about how BDSM dynamics bring power, vulnerability, and consent...

Episode 40 -Ever wondered what it’s like to be the face and body on the cover of your favorite romance novel? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with real-life couple Jose and Andrea (aka Mama) to talk about what it’s like to build a modeling career out of smut, how kink became part of their dynamic, and the power of being seen, desired, and fully expressed. We dive into how Mama h...

What happens when a professional dom and pleasure coach sits down to unpack the psychology of kink, power, and pleasure? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I’m joined by the brilliant Sir Marvelous, a pro dom, educator, and content creator who's on a mission to make BDSM more accessible, intentional, and deeply satisfying. From his early journey with sex toys to his current work guiding...

My favorite kink singer-songwriter needs our help. Deore, the incredible artist behind the Brat EP, is back and this time, she’s gearing up to release a full-length concept album called Tantrums . But in true brat fashion, she’s doing it her way: no label, no safety net, and fully trusting her kinky, ride-or-die community to bring it to life. In this episode of The Kink Consultant , we talk about...

What happens when a self-proclaimed vanilla romance lover brings a spicy book to The Kink Consultant for a breakdown? In this episode, I’m joined by Brenda (my Bizdom) and Tish (my podcast editor and first-time guest) as we kick off the official Kink Consultant Book Club with a deep dive into The Deep End by Ali Hazelwood, plus a quick update on my own dating life. I share my take on the book thro...

Is it possible to find a partner that matches your freak? In Part 2 of my conversation with Kai and Sarah, we dig into what it really looks like to build a relationship around a shared spanking fetish, emotional compatibility, and a power exchange dynamic that works in real life, not just in fantasy. We explore how their connection evolved from long-distance play partners to a deeply aligned partn...

What happens when two people spend years suppressing a core part of themselves only to realize that denying their identity comes at too high a cost? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Kai and Sarah for Part 1 of a powerful two-part series exploring how their shared spanking fetish shaped their personal growth, relationships, and ultimately, their path to each other. We talk ab...

What’s the deal with chastity and why are so many people obsessed with it? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I welcome back Larah Sky for her second appearance, and trust me, she delivers. Lara gets candid about the psychology behind chastity, why some men crave the cage, and what it really means to hold power in a dynamic built on denial. We dive deep into virtual chastity, trust vs. contr...

What actually happens when you walk away from a BDSM dynamic that no longer works, and end up with someone who still can’t meet your needs, even after you’ve communicated them clearly, more than once? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with Brenda (aka my BizDom) to share an honest and frustrating update on my dating life. I talk about why I chose to leave a partner who understood...

In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m back with Candace and Derek for Part 2 of our conversation, and trust me, it’s even juicier than the first. From pegging to big dick fantasies to how swinging became part of their love story. This is a real, vulnerable, and hilarious look into intimacy, growth, and letting go of shame. We dive deep into how religious upbringing impacted Candace’s early s...

What actually happens when a long-term monogamous couple decides to explore the world of sex parties and kink for the very first time? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with married couple Derek and Candace, who share exactly what went down during their very first hotwife party weekend in Vegas.  We talk about navigating consent, comfort, and connection in group play spaces, what...

What happens when a sex educator builds a half-million-strong following by telling the unfiltered truth about kink, consent, and community? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with the unapologetically brilliant Moxie Rose who is a TikTok creator and in-house educator at Shop Quinky. We get into what it means to lead with authenticity, hold ethical boundaries as an educator, and sh...

Ep 29 - How to Talk Dirty with Confidence: Expert Tips from Luna Matas What really holds people back from talking dirty in bed? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Luna Matas who is a Sex and Pleasure Educator, to break down why dirty talk is so hard for so many of us, and how to stop overthinking and start connecting. We explore Luna’s unique approach to helping people get out...

What happens when a couple decides to put the real parts of their relationship online—the good, the bad, and the brutally honest? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with Ben and Jas, the wildly relatable couple behind one of Instagram’s most candid and inspiring sex-positive platforms. From viral videos to deep conversations about intimacy, communication, and kink exploration, Ben...

What if erotic storytelling could teach you more about intimacy than a sex-ed class ever did? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I’m joined by one of my favorite creators, Nik—also known as The Forge Bear—whose voice is as powerful as his presence. Nik takes us behind the scenes of his work as an audio erotica creator on Quinn and shares how he uses storytelling to explore sexual self-discov...

What if the parts of you you’ve been told to suppress are actually your most authentic self? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with Dove from @littlespaces.co to explore what it really means to be a little—from discovering the dynamic through romance novels to navigating shame, connection, and kink identity. Whether you’re new to the world of caregiver/little dynamics or curious...

In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I’m joined by the brilliant Emma Xin Velicky, founder of Saturday Box —a company designing immersive kink and roleplay experience kits for couples. Emma opens up about her personal evolution from a conservative, sex-negative upbringing to writing romance and co-creating a business that makes intimacy playful, safe, and accessible. We talk about how Saturday...

Porn is reshaping how we view intimacy, and Make Love Not Porn is leading the charge. In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with Saniyyah Lateef, a curator for MLNP, to discuss how the platform is redefining adult content by showcasing real-world sex —authentic, unscripted, and deeply connected. We dive into how MLNP challenges mainstream porn stereotypes, promotes sex-positive repre...

What do thirst traps, TikTok bans, and Daddy Dom dynamics have in common? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I sit down with Dilly from @TheLifeofDillyy to talk about his journey from pec-popping TikToker to full-time content creator with a kinky twist. We get into the sensual (and hilarious) evolution of his online presence—and how stepping into his dominant energy opened the door to deeper...

What happens when one partner is kinky and the other is strictly vanilla? Is it possible to find common ground, or are you setting yourself up for long-term frustration? In this episode of The Kink Consultant , I break down exactly how to navigate this mismatch—starting with how to open up the conversation, get clear on your needs, and avoid making your partner feel like they’re not enough. We’ll...

Most people think a Dom/sub relationship is all about power and control—but the reality is, it lives and dies by communication . A strong D/s dynamic isn’t about one person calling all the shots while the other blindly obeys. It’s about negotiation, trust, and making sure both partners’ needs are met. So how do you create a dynamic that actually works? And more importantly, how do you avoid the co...

Finding your kink community can be a game-changer, but where do you even start? Finding the right community is about more than just showing up; it’s about knowing where to look, how to vet spaces, and making connections that actually feel good. In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m breaking down exactly how to find local munches, BDSM events, and online communities without wasting time in th...

In this episode, I sit down with CJ from No Shame with CJ to dive into the complexities of kink, non-monogamy, and redefining relationship norms. As a fellow sex and relationship coach, CJ brings a unique perspective on what it means to explore ethical non-monogamy and how the language we use around relationships shapes our experiences. We unpack the differences between polyamory and non-monogamy,...