The Jar Podcast | Dignity, Restored, Marriage, Healing, Forgiveness

You may or may not have noticed there wasn’t a new episode last week. Maybe you’ve been around long enough to know I haven’t missed a week in over 2.5 years, really, 3 years at least if you count the FB lives I did each Saturday before the podcast came along. There’s been a shift in my heart, and I wanna talk about that today and what that means for The Jar Podcast, for you, and for me. Resources...

I don’t think anybody goes through a painful experience in their life and thinks, “Wow, this is a good thing I”m going through right now” or “Wow, this pain is really serving a purpose.”  I don’t think that perspective is often a first instinct, but it doesn’t mean that the pain that you’re going through right now in your marriage or in your heart is for no reason. In fact, pain can be a gift that...

Have you felt like you’ve worked really hard to be a good wife? You take care of all the things.  You keep up the house.  You read marriage books. You listen to podcasts. You check the boxes and set more goals. But you feel like all your hard work is for nothing, like a deficit or you've overdrawn your relationship bank account. And it’s left you feeling pretty discouraged…  Piggy backing off...

Last week I went mountain biking for the first time. I was visiting my boss for a midyear work retreat and after a full morning of working, we put the bikes on the back of the car and headed to the trail. In between some iffy moments, some bumps and scrapes and pauses to catch our breath, she’d say at every sharp turn or near any ledge  “where you look is where you steer, so look ahead, not right...

Some call it sassy. Some say it’s strong-willed. Others call it normal. When a wife purses her lips and puts her hands on her hips and corrects, finger shakes, eye-rolls, bites back with a comeback, or gives “the look.” The husband appeases, sits back, gives in, or avoids. She throws her hands up and exasperation.  Society can take this behavior and even create comedy routines out of it. Social me...

Does Your Husband Expect Sex Even When You Don’t Want It? Have you experienced trauma in you past that makes intimacy difficult for you? You want him to feel fulfilled but you just don’t enjoy it? You WANT this area of your marriage to be healthy, strong and comfortable, but there’s a lot to unpack. You WANT to open up to your husband about it, but you also don’t want to make him feel bad… plus, i...

You think you’ve gotten away with it… maybe he didn’t notice how you side-skirted the truth. He was so focused on getting his point across that he ignored the eye roll you just gave him. Man, he sure gets angry. Did you hear what he said?! He knows his actions were hurtful but he keeps doing them! You walk away from the conversation and around the house the rest of the day quietly fuming about wha...

You and your husband have just been fighting or you did or said something that was unkind. Maybe you’re keeping something from him. Either way, you’re feeling the tension, the space between you, and the guilt is getting heavy. You know you need to apologize. You think you understand your part in the conflict. You’re willing to take ownership, and you recognize the wrong on your end.  You want to s...

Is your marriage unprotected and at risk for the enemy to attack? Or your own sin causing damage or destruction from the inside out? How do you fight back? I know you want to feel safe. I know you want your marriage to be healed, your heart to be whole, and for restoration to be possible. Today we’re countering the 4 dangers I mentioned last week with 4 ways to protect and safeguard your marriage...

I’m guessing you probably lock your front door at night, right? Do you lock your car when you park at the store? Maybe you don’t struggle with thoughts like “I better not sit with my back to the door” or “What’s the plan if there’s an intruder or a mass shooter” like I do, but I’m sure in today’s society it’s a bit more prevalent than it was even 3 years ago. You’re on guard. You’re more vigilant....

Do you need a safe place where you can be vulnerable with your struggles in marriage without feeling judged, shamed, or embarrassed? Ideally, it’s great to be able to do that in person with community in your church, but I know what it’s like to feel like you belong in the back or skip church altogether because what you’ve done is just too bad or shameful. Not here, sis. Come join the Christian Wif...

You and your husband are sitting at the dining room table or in bed, or, our favorite place to have difficult discussions or arguments: the couch. The conversation is escalating, feelings are getting hurt, and you’re feeling more and more confused.  What were we originally fighting about? Why is this communication thing so HARD?! You feel misunderstood and that he’s misinterpreting everything you’...

Do you consider yourself dependent, codependent, independent to a fault, or independent and proud of it? Whether it's physical, emotional, social, etc. Where you fall? Kinda like Goldilocks and the 3 Bears… How do you know what’s right? How do you measure the temperature to know it’s not too much or isn’t left alone for too long? How do you know if you are independent to a fault, dependent on...

It probably wouldn’t take you long to think of a mistake you’ve made in your marriage, a sin you committed, a moment of selfish action that you wish you could take back, or some poor choices you aren’t proud of. Whether it’s a string of explosive words during an argument, the angry look you gave, retaliating in bitterness, or the worst form of betrayal, no matter how justified you feel in the mome...

How do you know what a healthy marriage is?  What would you say constitutes a healthy, God-centered relationship?  How do you get healthy if you don’t know what healthy looks like? It’s time to gain some insight and learn from an example. Today I’m bringing to you, my parents, who are celebrating their 39th wedding anniversary today!  Loads of Love, Lydia --> FOLLOW so you don't miss a show...

“I try so hard to work on communicating better with my husband. I don’t understand why I still can’t manage to have a happy marriage.” “I deserve to have a good marriage, so why am I struggling with loving my husband? After all, isn’t this marriage  a blessing from God?” “I’m tired of being the one making an effort. I’ve tried so hard to do what the Bible says, so why hasn’t God  made my marriage...

It’s all fun and games and “inspiration” in the beginning: She searches “Farmhouse style” homes, “succulents” and “shiplap” after watching HGTV He turns on the news again to stay informed and know what’s going on in the world Til someone gets hurt… She complains about all the things in the house and how nice so-and-so’s is He turns off the news only to walk around the house with anxiety and irrita...

I remember the feeling: it’s over. There’s no way our marriage can bounce back from THAT. There’s no way I can forgive him after what he’s done. He’ll never forgive me for what I’ve done. Too much damage. Too much pain. He isn’t even talking to me, and we’ve been separated for months! We’ve already met with our lawyers. We’ve already started to sign the papers!  It’s done.  Not so fast, Linda. Lis...

He’s not exactly throwing a temper tantrum, but pretty darn close to it. You know those moments when your husband says or does something that just seems… immature. You’re minding your business or you’re doing what you do and suddenly he is sulking about something or getting loud and upset about something. It seems so out of left field or disproportionate to the actual circumstances, and it’s drain...

“God, I’m tempted to lose hope because my dreams are shattered. I’m in so much pain, but I don’t see you fixing things, and that hurts, too. I know you see my pain but I wonder if you’ll do anything about it. I question your plan, why you aren’t stepping in or healing this.” I wrote these words in my journal during a time about 8 years ago when God felt silent. Have you ever felt like God is silen...

You feel the burning sensation in the pit of your stomach. The tightness in your chest. The inability to take a deep breath. The clenched jaw and gritted teeth. Your mind goes spirals downward with a string of things that he’s done wrong, you’ve done wrong, the list goes on and on to eventually you can no longer decipher the reality from the made-up lies. You act out. You have big outbursts with w...

Your husband is not leading you spiritually, and you’re tired of always being the one to start family devotions and just wish he would take initiative. You feel like you have to force him to grow in his relationship with the Lord and lead your family. You’re trying to be a Godly wife and support him but you’re frustrated with his spiritual immaturity. How do you stay patient? How do you wait for h...

What makes you feel loved by your husband? Is it kind words, when he thanks you for a job well done, or when he calls you his favorite pet name? Is it when he pitches in around the house, does the dishes without being asked, or changes a dirty diaper?  How about when he comes home with flowers, brings you a beautiful necklace for Valentine’s Day, or your favorite cookies on his way home from...

You know when you get a comment from someone like “wow, your son is getting so tall!” and you hadn’t really noticed because you see him every day or when you turn to talk to him and the light hits just right that you notice peach fuzz on his upper lip and realize puberty is already here? It’s kinda like that– healing happens with time. Hearts mend piece by piece, and God moves in sometimes obvious...

You’re frustrated with how you and your husband seem to be communicating better but then you’re suddenly back to arguing. You feel like you keep trying and trying to make a change in your marriage, only to be back at square one. The lack of growth is discouraging, and you just want to call it quits, cry, or give up! You’re stretched thin in exhaustion, tired of returning to the old you, the old wa...