The Jar Podcast | Dignity, Restored, Marriage, Healing, Forgiveness

Does your anxiety get the best of you during conversations with your husband? Do you notice your anxious thoughts (and heart rate) racing as you try to keep up with all the things? Have you ever felt like everything would fall apart if you just stopped doing even one thing? Come hear my not-so-funny (but kinda funny) story of what happened last week when 8 family members decided to show up with on...

He looks at you one day and says, “I don’t love you anymore.” You check the mail and there’s a large brown envelope with a thick packet of divorce papers you weren’t expecting. Or maybe you’ve sensed it coming but still stand there in shock as he says, “I want a divorce.” Now what? Everything you knew, everything you thought would be is suddenly crumbling apart. You have flashbacks of standing on...

If you’re in a place right now where you don’t feel heard by your husband, Your feelings aren’t validated, and the sadness creeps in, Your disappointment deepens every time he says “I will” but it turns into a “he didn’t,” Or you’re sitting there thinking “how did we get here? How did I get here? I don’t deserve this…” But you feel stuck because, well, you’re the one who made this choice, and you’...

Demanding? Dominating? Forcing someone else to adjust their behavior to fit my sudden needs? All definitions of THIS one very toxic trait you may not be aware you bring to your marriage or how it's ruining your marriage, one conversation at a time. Today, there's one simple trick to take this toxic trait and turn it into a tool to stop damaging your marriage and start to improve communication with...

Do you know you should be trying harder in your marriage but you’ve essentially given up? Have you ever been so tired, you just stop putting in the effort? You’re so exhausted that you just don’t care what you say or how you say it, even if it’s unkind? These conversations and times of exhaustion are so difficult because we think we just need more sleep, eat healthy, or we’re told to just do some...

Are you walking around your house right now feeling… heavy? Is the weight just making you so exhausted you wish you could stay in bed all day? You’re so hungry, but also too tired to eat anything. Or maybe you just don’t care and eat everything in sight, cuz, whatever, who cares anymore. I’m not actually talking about the number on the scale or how you look in a mirror… What’s weighing you down is...

IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST STRUGGLES IN YOUR MARRIAGE COMMUNICATION? Not necessarily arguments, because, well, it takes two to argue and you’re just trying to get your husband to either open up and talk or respond to you when you’re talking! You try to say something to him once, but he doesn’t seem to hear you and you end up repeating yourself because he doesn’t respond or acknowledge what you’re sayin...

SHOULD YOU STAY IN YOUR MARRIAGE OR LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND? What does God say about it? So many questions, so much confusion, and so many voices giving you permission in today’s society, how do you determine what God is saying about your marriage? Your friends have probably already weighed in over a glass of wine with some “mm mmm’s” and some “uhh uhhh’s." Your mama’s already done given you a piece of...

Are you feeling alone this New Year's Eve? Not filled with much hope for your marriage as you prepare for the new year? I've been there. In fact, 7 years ago today I sat all alone, uninvited, broken, and filled with shame, separated from my husband and unsure of the new year.  Here are some questions that can help you reflect on this year, set goals for next year, and determine some action st...

I remember what it felt like… reading through the divorce papers, first through tears, then with a burning sensation in my stomach when I saw the section explaining the holidays we’d split with the kids.  How can I EVER spend a Christmas away from my boys? I literally didn’t think I could survive that. Weekends were hard enough. I’ve never spent time near the holidays feeling so…hopeless. It...

Someone says “Merry Christmas” and you could just roll your eyes. You see two friends laughing while shopping and you want to barf. Even worse, someone asks you how you’re doing or what your plans are for the holidays, and you just instantly start crying. Not everyone is looking forward to Christmas… in fact, this year? This year you would rather hide from everyone because the pain is too much to...

Just one more glass… and the regret and headache the next morning. See him one more time… and cry in shame on your drive home the next morning. Let those angry words fly… and choke on the shame of destructive words you can’t take back. Deny the choices you’ve made… and hide the shame of lying until it burns inside. We are faced with decisions on a regular basis: to continue to choose to give into...

You’re going about the motions of showing up to the parties, baking the pies, hanging stockings, decorating the Christmas tree, and you’re putting on the smile and the “Merry Christmas!” to your neighbors when you walk outside. But when you walk back inside, there’s a heaviness. There’s a deep longing in your heart for more but you can’t quite put your finger on WHY you feel this way. I KNOW you w...

Your husband asks “What’s the matter?” and you want to yell “EVERYTHING’S THE MATTER!” because your to-do list is a mile long, the house is a pig sty, and you’re feeling all the pressure to say yes to every holiday event or get together with friends or sports teams or family. The overwhelm hits, and you feel like all you can do is scream, cry, or escape. In today’s special guest episode, my friend...

Oh man, it’s Thanksgiving next week– and just the thought of multiple get-togethers, feasts, cooking for large groups, seeing extended family, the hustle and bustle, the extra busy season, expectations on showing up or getting gifts, can really cause anxiety to be at an all-time high. And that means you’re primed and ready for the smallest thing to trigger big feelings and arguments. Are you trave...

Raise your hand if you’re sittin' in your car right now in your driveway, not wanting to go back inside because you know another fight with your husband is inevitably going to happen the second you walk in. Maybe you’re at work and the way you left your husband and your home this morning was NOT pretty and you regret fighting with him before leaving the house. Or girl, you’re standing at your kitc...

“That's just who I am!” or “I’m willing to work on that.”  Which one leads to growth and which one keeps you stuck? The answer is obvious. But why do we care?  When my marriage crumbled, and we were causing a lot of pain then began to reconcile, we worried about our boys. Did we scar them forever? Will they have tendencies and habits that stem from this time? Are there traits and things...

I know you’ve been there before. Exhaustion. Pure exhaustion. A sudden awareness of how empty you are. The clutter in your home, conflict in your marriage, and chaos in motherhood come out as angry overstimulation, overwhelming emotions, and then… just… fumes. The fiery panic turns to apathy, going about the motions, glazed-over looks, almost numb, and you wonder how much longer this can on until...

Are you flying under the radar? Is your sin going undetected? Does it come out only inside the four walls of your home, but others outside see a smiling face and someone well put together? Do you scream and rage OR keep information to yourself and hide, and feel like it’s eating you alive? What if the way to uncover your sin, expose your darkest struggles, and actually start healing, finding whole...

Tears fill your eyes, a fire is burning in your chest, and you’re reeling with confusion and you don’t know how to respond. Your husband’s just confessed a sin struggle or you’ve just discovered hurtful things he’s done. You’re instantly thrown into this very physical reaction, a surreal feeling, where senses are heightened, feelings are BIG, and your every sense of security and peace and normalcy...

It’s like an elephant suddenly sat on your chest. Instant physical and emotional reactions begin brewing and brimming as your mind starts spinning with the news your husband is confessing, the sin you’ve just found out about: his infidelity, porn addiction, gambling habit, lustful thoughts, dishonesty, etc. Fight or flight mode begins instinctively to kick in, and you either want to punch and scre...

Does your marriage feel dull, lifeless, and empty? Are you feeling neglected, forgotten, left behind, and unimportant? Maybe you want to change that, to reignite a spark, and to bring some LIFE back into your dying marriage by reviving your OWN heart toward your husband. You're sick of feeling so hardened toward him, angry, and bitter. But you just don’t see how it’s possible. You feel so numb and...

Why do we wives lean into control or feel the need to fix? What is that actually about??  Did you know the root cause is often..... shame? So what do we do with that? How are we supposed to unravel the curse of shame in our marriages? Can we really find wholeness? Tune in to Part 2 of my conversation with guest Jules Morlet  today and hear how she and her husband worked through shame and...

Has your marriage turned out nothing like you expected? You’ve faced some pretty tough and dark moments and feel pretty hopeless about it. Maybe you’ve walked through some difficult things like infidelity, deception, porn addiction, or worse and you’re wondering if it’s too late to recover. You just want to know that it’s possible! My guest today, Jules Morlet, helps us understand the curse of sha...

Hey, Friend, I’m glad you’re here. Something in this title made you click and listen, and my hunch is: you’re feeling a bit distant from God. You want more but you aren’t sure why you still feel that longing in your heart, that distance or emptiness. And it’s even impacting the intimacy with your husband– you feel far from him, too. You’ve tried “drawing near to God so He will draw near to you.” Y...