The Gonarch's Lair and Off-Planet podcasts

Buckle up and start your engines for the second part of yet another milestone episode. In this 2 hour endurance test, Ross and Thom talk non-stop about racing games; they read out and debate our listeners' favourites, discuss arcade racing classics, Go Karts, rally games, flying sims, and vehicle tuning. We also talk about roadworks, copy protection, scratch and sniff discs, the Super FX chip, we...

Salutations listener and welcome to episode 24, come join Ross and Thom in their abode of nightmare hosts while they entertain and amuse yet another special guest. In part one we coerce Sie into helping us with our homework assignment by playing Gods and Flimbo’s Quest on the Commodore Amiga; discussing the Nintendo Switch launch, Zelda: Breath of the Wild, parallax scrolling, and the No Man’s Sky...

In the second part of episode 24, our hosts relax to Sie’s dulcet tones as he recounts his gaming history, shares his Desert Island Games, and explains the reasoning behind his gaming persona choice. The sprawling conversation covers RTS and RPG games, LAN parties, point-and-click adventures, Dungeon Crawlers, and the impact gaming has on your social life. We also discuss medieval weaponry, video...

On no listeners, it's that time again when Ross and Thom convene in the Lair to muse over anything that they can tenuously link to retrogaming, thus satisfying their subscribers appetite for this heavily saturated podcast genre. In the first part of episode 23 they discuss the Netflix Original Castlevania series, the latest Rainbow Six: Siege and Enter the Gungeon updates, open-world driving games...

The second part of our 23rd episode is all about video game weapons; our hosts focus on the characters' personal armoury rather than special moves, abilities, power-ups, and vehicles. They debate the ones we all love and hate, taking suggestions for both categories from you, the fans. We also discuss standalone DLC releases, weapon deterioration, Valve's disinterest in console gaming, dismembermen...

Welcome to 2017, and the first Gonarch’s Lair podcast of the year. In part one Ross and Thom discuss movie trailer voiceovers, Super Mario Run, dated CGI effects, Super Mario Odyssey, deliberate merchandising ploys, Unravel, the latest Xbox One backwards compatible games, Drawception, and we review an Amiga game that was programmed by our most established fan. We also talk about the return of Star...

In part two of our first episode of 2017, Ross and Thom talk almost exclusively about the board games they played during their youth and adolescence, and the favourites of their friends, family and fans alike. We discuss the definition of a board game, their assembly and maintenance, losing and breaking parts, the Pop-O-Matic, and the almost unbelievable origin of draughts. We also discuss Board J...

Our 2016 Christmas special has arrived and, just like Santa’s sack, it is jam-packed and overflowing with joy and goodwill. Ross and Thom are joined by Simon, Christmas' biggest fan, for the first of three visits to Gonarch’s Grotto; we talk about Ubisoft’s DLC policy, pay walls, Christmas Noobs, and the No Man’s Sky update. We also discuss the PlayStation Experience reveals of The Last of Us Part...

The second part of this jubilant bonanza rapidly descends into chaos as the merry mob play Winter Games on the ZX Spectrum while reading out some mince pie reviews and an email from a fan. We also discuss Iceland’s 13 Trolls, re-gifting, and the worst presents that we have ever received. Sausage-swipers include Th5m breaking the game, Sim5n setting a World Record and R5ss without free rum.

In the third and final part of this years’ Christmas special Simon tests Ross and Thom’s knowledge of Santa Claus portrayals in movies with a picture quiz, we finish off Ken’s Christmas Dingbats, and we discuss our favourite Christmas movies. We also eat some festive chocolate cakes while discussing flimsy controllers, the difference between Margot Kidder and Karen Allen, Quentin Tarantino’s foot...

Welcome back to the sack for episode 20, another milestone in Ross and Thom's podcasting careers. In the first part of this double feature our hosts are again joined by Kristian and they do their very best to alienate him by discussing the Wylam Brewery Game & Grill, Nintendo Switch, Battlefield 1, Red Dead Redemption 2, and reviewing Double Dragon the movie. We also discuss Black Mirror, Noah, fo...

In the second part of episode 20 we dedicate almost 2 hours of our lives to learning about Kristian’s history in gaming, his Desert Island Games choices, and his gaming persona. We also talk about Roger Moore, sports games, 'Atlanta' starring Donald Glover, old-school ‘pass the controller’ co-op, and Ross challenges Thom to a highscore contest. Invade-a-loads include Ross dropping his notes, Thom...

It’s our favourite time of year when the nights are closing in, there’s a chill in the air, and sinister sounds are emanating from Gonarch’s Lair. Ross and Thom are joined by a ghoulish guest for the first of three haunted Halloween special episodes in which we focus on zombies, arguably one of the most iconic gaming and movie antagonists. In part one we guess which zombie we are each dressed as,...

In the second part of our spooktacular special, the gang play Zombi on the ZX Spectrum before discussing our favourite zombie movies and literature, and sharing our Gamertags and PSN IDs. We also discuss Dara O’Briain’s Go 8 Bit, No Man’s Sky, parody porn, and Thom writes a limerick for Michael. Endless ectoplasm includes Michael suffering from sexual discrimination, Ross being Fonzie and Thom was...

In the third and final chilling chapter of our Halloween special we discuss zombie video games in a vague chronological order, focusing heavily on the Left 4 Dead series; our favourite playable characters, crescendo moments, exploits, and we offer our own special infected concepts for the rumoured Left 4 Dead 3. We also discuss Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist, Nazi zombies, and Ross hands out some...

In the second part of episode 18 we discuss the PS4 Pro, cross-platform play, Games with Gold and PS Plus, Smart Phone peripherals, and Kristian answers some questions from another super-fan. We also talk about playground taunts, Bryan Ferry’s wardrobe, pet rabbits, time-travel devices, and we receive a genuine piece of fan mail. Bling blazers include Thom changing history, Ross’ legal advice and...

In the first episode of their second year of podcasting, the Lair’s permanent residents force a special guest to play the homework that was set in episode 15.5, Knight Lore and California Games. We also discuss 80’s Pop music, phases of the moon, Catchphrases' Mr. Chips, the ‘spice of life’, and eating dessert first. Spicy footbags include Kristian rage quitting, Ross saying ‘scrumdiddlyumptious’...

Against all odds, The Gonarch’s Lair Podcast has reached its 1st birthday! Twelve long months of podcasting culminate in this special celebratory episode, which features Ross and Thom giving themselves a well-deserved pat on the back; reminiscing about their favourite episodes and homework assignments, and discussing other significant anniversaries in the gaming calendar this year. We also talk ab...

We once again invite you into the Lair for more gaming references and tenuous innuendos in an all-new episode. In part one Thom and Ross discuss Atari: Game Over, Xbox Originals, binge-watching box sets, Stranger Things (spoiler free), Ready Player One (also spoiler free), and we share the listener’s suggestions for porno versions of Pokémon. We also debate ‘hysterical strength’, gardening, TV lic...

In the second part of episode 16 the inebriated twosome attempt to review Indie Game: The Movie and King of Kong which results in discussions about Flash games, the Xbox Summer of Arcade, overly defensive developers, excessive load times, Xbox’s parity clause failings, the detrimental effects of bad marketing, USPs, and we compare 8-bit ‘bedroom coders’ to today’s indie developers. Sordid secrets...

We finally arrive at the end of the Simon's journey in the second part of episode 15 as he tells us about his video game history, his gaming persona, and his Desert Island Games. We also debate the highs and lows of Nintendo, Zorb football, how games can influence our musical tastes, jaffa cakes, and accidental misogyny. Damp squibs include Thom trying out a new introduction, Simon’s Krusty the Cl...

The Gonarch’s Lair team are back, refreshed from their short summer break, and joined again by Simon who has some unfinished business with Ross and Thom. In the first part of episode 15 we discuss E3 announcements, Geocaching, the Pokémon Go phenomenon, modular consoles, and we find out what UXB stands for. We also talk about robot butlers, rule 34, Thom’s purple axe, the rapidly fading divide bet...

In episode 14 we get back to retrogaming in a big way as we subject another special guest to some 8-bit classics, this time it's 'The Trap Door' and 'Psycho Pigs UXB' which were chosen as homework in episode 11. We discuss game chat trolling, frustrating end of level bosses, and the futility of using cheats and exploits in video games. We also talk about German expressionist cinema, Australia’s de...

In the second part of episode 14 we continue the gaming discussion with Simon, our 5th guest in the Lair, by debating free-to-play game models, backwards compatibility versus remasters, predictable tropes in AAA titles, and the dangers of the ‘hype machine’. We also discuss gaming clothing, controversial violence in games, the flaws in religious rhetoric, and Gabe Newell's perineum. Tainted love i...

Thirteen may be unlucky for some, but not so for Ross and Thom as they finally get a chance to interview Inspector Bobby Fogg and his rookie apprentice Clive Palin for their latest episode. Throughout this horror themed special we discuss spiritual informants, exorcisms, breaking conventions in gaming, asbestos, the job club, Saturday night quiz show hosts, fragrance ranges, stakeout games, fishin...