the friend I needed

[ ep 7 ] HIII FRIEND. okay, I'm tired of operating with an excited nervous system every day and I'm on a journey of rewiring my brain. as an adult, it's challenging to change unwanted patterns that we picked up as children, because humans are very good at repeating their neurological patterns. we must challenge limiting beliefs like "I just have anxiety". we must believe that...

[ ep 6 ] I used to write “good job” lists to myself when I was in a dark period of my life…getting out of bed, making a healthy meal, helping another person even when I was unsure I had enough energy for myself, having a moment of positivity even when it was difficult, and so on. I don’t do them nearly as often and find that I’ve been overlooking the small things I do everyday. for one, acknowledg...

[ ep 5 ] when facing obstacles, it is helpful to find ways to better yourself for the sake of establishing more inner peace. but, efforts for constant self-improvement can become counterintuitive if we never let ourselves have peace in where we are. today we’ll be discussing our need to allow ourselves to simply BE – to exist just as we are and to release all agendas and be immersed in the wonderf...

[ ep 4 ] come here. we’re going to group therapy. today I’ll be sharing a particular life struggle and sowing seeds of positivity and growth. I share vulnerable moments so you don’t have to feel alone if you’re experiencing similar times. the other week I had dealt with an utterly overwhelming situation in a better way than I ever had. I'm experiencing utter burn out from being someone’s emoti...

[ ep 3 ] I’ve been having invasive social anxiety at work worrying about other people having negative thoughts of me. these consistent worries have been draining me of my energy and I am aware how unnecessary it is. so I have been asking myself…WHY? why do I care so much? how can I stop this? a dream came to answer my question. it took me down a path of looking further into the ego and the way we...

[ ep 2 ] if you're feeling overwhelmed in thought and emotion right now, you're not alone. today I am sharing the 2 ways I've been rewiring my mind to create emotional resilience and increasing quality of life. if you don't know how to help yourself right now, I think this is a good starting point because they can be applied at any time. let's discuss our ability to challenge n...

[ ep 1 ] come for a chat with gentle reminders. today we are talking about getting back into our creative work without so much pressure on ourselves, following nature's flow and the abundant lessons to be gained from observing nature. yes, maybe this was recorded as winter was beginning but it still applies okay ! (remember, the only thing that matters is this moment here right now. you're...

[ep 0.13] am I too resistant to the natural discomforts of life? is that resistance making my life harder than it needs to be? we all know that mindset is everything…but this is a complicated issue when you take depression and other human pains into consideration because we feel we experience discomfort enough. can we make room in our lives to accept that life is inherently uncomfortable? I think...

[ep 0.12] I’ve been isolating. if you have been too…you shouldn’t feel bad about it. today I’ll share what my isolation has been looking like.  being around people I can’t show my full self to is exhausting. I’m over here busy trying to keep my mental afloat which makes it hard to socialize or listen to other people’s unrelatable and relatively ordinary drama. would I prefer to have close ones to...

[ep 0.11] why are we here? why does anything exist? these questions are something that everyone has thought about and some more often than others. not knowing the meaning of life used to drive me into anxious states of panic. fortunately, i’m at a point where I have gathered enough questions, answers, and theories to form some grounding beliefs about life and the universe. today I will be sharing...

[ep 0.10] SOC=stream of conciousness episode. me unfiltered with no episode plan. just speaking my mind in what I can see now in retrospect was an anxiety episode. a night where I am so sick of feeling like shit. I'm trying my best to do better for myself and things go up and up and then I am back at the bottom again. how many times can I hit the bottom and still have the energy to get up? I&#...

[ep 0.09] we have 2 options in life - to resist what is happening to us or to accept it; I call this the 2 option dilemma. by conceptualizing our nature to toggle between the two of them, I better understand the way I operate. intellectualizing emotions helps to bring a greater sense of calm and control over my life because I am understanding my emotions and nature rather than being overwhelmed by...

[ep 0.08] reading a journal entry from start to finish - no intro or outro. being in touch with your emotions and thoughts can be perceived as being weak. after minorly opening up to someone about my struggles this person started preaching about discipline and strength of mind. this person is only one of many with the same out-of-touch sentiment I've heard so many times and even had myself onc...

[ep 0.07] receiving a diagnosis can cause a flurry of emotions...fear, embarassment, overwhelm...but you also feel validated and relief. I want to share a little bit of my reaction from my diagnosis with OCD, the thoughts that came to my mind, and how I made myself feel like just another ”normal” human being rather than someone with ”something wrong with them”. what is normal though? no such thing...

[ep 0.06] content warning: passive suicidal ideation, existential crisesI have a blend of a nihilist, existentialist, and absurdist view on life — overall believing that life has no inherent meaning. I walk a fine line in this belief because when I’m doing well, this life philosophy feels great! but when I am not doing well...I ask myself ”why am I even enduring this suffering if its for NO REASON...

[ep 0.05]  currently, my life is lacking external sources of validation in the form of school grades, social interactions, career achievements, friendships, and more. I've been feeling a void, like a need for someone to tell me I've been doing a good job or that they see me and appreciate me for the person I am. although, internally, such as emotionally and mentally, I have been making str...

[ep 0.04]  of course I find myself in an uncomfortable state of mind and am in the mood to just spill my stream of conciousness. my mental jumble actually made me want to talk about how I like to remind myself how small I am in the grand scheme of the universe. I do this thing where I look to the sky and envision our vast world in 3D. I know I know, we all see in 3D...but I think we tend to look a...

[ep 0.03] I woke up this morning feeling extremely frustrated. I woke up with my aggravating chronic neck and back pain. it sucks when you are doing everything you can to help yourself and it just isn’t enough. I wanted to just soak into my frustration and allow myself to feel angry. however, a lot of the time we don’t allow ourselves to ~feel~ freely — we censor ourselves, try to be level headed...

[ep 0.02] SOC=stream of conciousness episode.it’s honesty hour again. I just woke up and I started scrolling on instagram which triggered uncomfortable feelings of discontentment; feeling like I am bored with my life and wondering ”what am I doing with my life?” I’m sharing my stream of conciousness about comparing my life to other people’s supposed happy and healthy looking lives. also, sharing m...

[ep 0.01]  content warning: passive suicidal ideation, suicide. SOC=stream of conciousness episode.okay...I'm gonna set out to do what I told myself I was gonna do which is be completely open and transparent here. The reason I don't want to be right now is because I don't wanna send anyone down a rabbit hole or to get in their head. But, I think that if I were on the other end and I ha...

this is a podcast I wanted to make to make people feel less alone. I wanna share thoughts and experiences related to mental health as well as just creative ideas I have. I wanna put it all out there so you can have a friend willing to be as vulnerable as you. listen to hear what I want this all to be about and what type of things I am looking forward to share :)