The EmotionAlly Podcast

 In this episode, I introduce our newest clinician on the therapy team, Cori Lazarte. I talk with her about why therapy is important, how it works, and what people can expect when they sit down with a therapist. Cori explains her approach to helping clients find meaningful change and strength, and we dispel some of the social media myths about how change happens. Cori is now accepting clients thro...

In this episode, I describe how we can generate lasting hope despite our current life circumstances — both for ourselves and for those we love. I discuss the definition of hope and introduce 3 categories for creating substance upon which to build real hope. We dive into topics such as joy and purpose, the meaning of true worth, and how connection can help us strengthen ourselves and those around u...

In this episode, Kirk interviews author and child development expert, Stefanie Hohl, about kinesthetic learning for kids of all ages, and specifically for young kids learning to read. She explains a reading program she has developed, titled "ABC See Hear Do," and how we can apply movement in learning to a variety of positive outcomes in child development and academic growth. Kirk also discusses ho...

In this episode, Kirk discusses common mental health terms that are often misunderstood and misused. He defines and describes worry vs. anxiety, sadness vs. depression, OCD, Bipolar, ADHD, gaslighting, boundaries, people-pleasing, and perfectionism. And he gives solid reason for hope as we each can, through therapeutic intervention, achieve meaningful traction and healing for these aspects of our...

  In this episode, I discuss the concept of layered emotions, and why they matter in life and in our relationships. I explain Surface vs. Core emotional expression, what it means to become "emotionally fluent," and how we can apply that fluency to our closest relationships. In this episode, we're digging into effective communication, empathy, and how to help others feel more seen. Give it a listen...

In this episode, I'm joined by Stefanie Chou, whose oldest son is about to graduate high school, to discuss the art of parenting through difficult transitions. We discuss the uncomfortable emotions of transition moments, what it means to let go, and how to make room for a new relationship. We talk about the process of grief as it relates to transition, and how fostering connection can act as an an...

In this episode, Kirk and Meg discuss what it means to be "highly emotional" in families, and, from the perspective of a teenager, how to handle it when our parents fit that description. Kirk explains 5 keys for teens (and family members) when handling a parent who is angry, sad, anxious, or overwhelmed. Meg asks Kirk the questions submitted by listeners on this topic, and Kirk offers strategies,...

In this episode, I am joined by my 8 year old daughter, Pepper, and I ask her about her views on friendship, kindness, and managing stress. I ask her what things she wishes grownups knew about kids, how she handles disappointments and frustrations, and what things she finds to be most important to her. It's a refreshing perspective on life, from someone who is still not burdened by adult fear and...

In this episode, my wife Meg & I discuss common misbeliefs and successful strategies for parenting adult children. We outline the difference between secure attachment and unhealthy bonds with our adult children, discuss when to give advice—or not, and chat about common parental beliefs that often get in the way of healthy relationships with our adult kids. We also acknowledge the grieving process...

In this episode, I am joined by Cori Lazarte, a therapist who helps clients who grieve. Together we discuss different ways that grief may enter our lives, what to say (and not to say) to those who are grieving, and we explain how important it is to make it ok to "not be ok," and how it can be a part of our healing. We talk about what to do with our anger, and what part it may play in the process....

  In this episode, I explain the purpose of traditions and rituals in our families and relationships, and why they serve as a medicine for resilience in our times of struggle. I discuss how to determine when we may need to add traditions, and when we should give ourselves permission to let them go or to evolve. Whether during the holidays, or in our everyday lives, I explain how traditions have th...

In this episode, I discuss why our love that we give sometimes gets brushed off, or goes unseen, or receives a lukewarm response. I explain how to help your partner feel the love you give. I describe the four rungs on the ladder of expressing love, how to access each step on that ladder, & why this effort will ultimately help us to see & be seen by those we love. You don't want to miss this one. G...

In this episode, I explain how we can help our kids to find and keep their emotional resilience, and how to create a "Teflon" for the hardships that they face, like loss, bullying, correction, and personal life storms. I explain how building secure attachment fits into that resilience. I also discuss how to help kids (and adults) to speak fairly to themselves, and I describe how to help prepare ou...

In this episode, I am joined by my wife, Meg, as we discuss what  helicopter parenting is and what it isn't. I explain the 4 commonly labeled styles of parenting, and we introduce a new parenting style that I'm excited to share with you, and which can help you focus your parenting efforts with greater meaning, and hopefully less confusion and overwhelm. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I explain why people fear and avoid addressing mental health. I explain the key questions that we can each ask ourselves so we can determine whether our state of mind warrants additional support from a therapist or physician. And I explain why there IS hope and a solid and clear path forward for healing when we do need that help. We don't have to fear and avoid "popping the hood"...

In this episode, I discuss a popular YouTube episode I heard online that describes the world trying to make men soft and weak and brainwashed with emotion and emotional sensitivity. I discuss that popular mentality, and I explain the reality of emotional intelligence. I make the case for how emotion makes men, and women, even stronger in their grit and lifestyle, if emotion is properly accessed an...

In this episode, my wife, Meg, & I talk about parenting high-emotion kids. We discuss origins of our kids' emotional outbursts, how our own reactions can calm or elevate those emotions, and the role of empathy in our parenting response. We'll dispel myths about emotion and offer hope for any parent who struggles — because we all do. Give it a listen!

In a recent study, loneliness was declared a public health epidemic. In this episode, I summarize the main points of this study and I discuss how to foster deeper connection despite ongoing feelings of loneliness. I explain why we need to heal our attachment to ourselves, how to achieve the self-clarity this requires, and why making peace with ourselves allows for greater connection with those aro...

In this episode, my producer, Richie T. Steadman, joins me to ask me the questions people often want to know about what therapy is, how it works, and what to expect. I talk openly about how to choose a therapist, how to bring a reluctant loved one to therapy, when to do therapy and when NOT to do therapy, and I explain exactly how therapy helps. Therapy should feel like it's safe, and that it is w...

In this episode, I discuss the concept of reconciliation— what it means and why it's worth it. I describe the difference between proactive and reactive responses to emotion, why reconciliation is actually a gift, and how to extend empathetic invitations to restore connection. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I discuss how depression and anxiety often may slide under our radar, in those we love, and even in ourselves, and why that happens so often. I explain the importance of emotional fluency to mental health, how to ask meaningful questions when our loved ones may be hurting, and 7 signs of anxiety and depression that we often miss in those we love. Give it a listen!

  In this episode, I'm discussing how to rebuild and repair trust that has been broken. Through several family and parenting examples with teens, I describe how these principles apply to intimate partnerships and other close relationships. I discuss common patterns of repair that ultimately backfire, and how to effect organic change and foster maturity in ourselves and our teens. Finally, I introd...

In this episode, I introduce a framework to effectively guide healthy goal and resolution making, no matter when we get started on our goals. I discuss 4 key framework elements that allow us to focus on process and measure true, lasting growth. Then I'll dig into the whys behind our significant need for emotional fluency in today's world. Give it a listen!

In this episode, my wife Meghan joins me as we discuss common communication struggles in long-term committed relationships. We talk openly about our own communication pitfalls, our personal relational needs, and our varying processing styles. Then we'll discuss how to harness vulnerability and why empathy is the best path for reaching meaningful solutions. Give it a listen!

In this episode, I chat about "black and white thinking," or thinking in extremes. I discuss why we slip into patterns of polarized thought, and I give practical steps that can help us change these patterns. Give it a listen!