The Emil Show - All Things Relational

In this powerful episode, Emil introduces a perspective that challenges how most people think about marriage: what if the quality of your relationship isn’t determined by who you married—but by the laws you live? Drawing on scripture, human behavior, and real-life therapy experiences, Emil breaks down The Three Levels of Marriage—Telestial, Terrestrial, and Celestial —as three distinct ways couple...

🚨 Why Helping Your Teen Too Much Might Be Hurting Them (And What to Do Instead) If you’re a parent of a struggling teen—or a professional working with adolescents—this conversation will challenge everything you think you know about helping kids succeed. In this episode of The Emil Show, Emil sits down with Mark Spalding (LCSW), co-founder of Live Strong House, to unpack what’s really going on wit...

Are you struggling with a defiant, anxious, or rebellious teen? You’re not alone—and you’re not doing it wrong. In this powerful episode of The Emil Show, Emil sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Jonathan Sherman to unpack what’s really going on with teens today—and why traditional parenting approaches are falling short. Together, they dive deep into the hidden emotional world of...

Are you struggling with a defiant teen, constant power struggles, or feeling like nothing you do is working as a parent? In this powerful episode of The Emil Show , Emil Harker sits down with parent coach Beth Hillman to break down one of the biggest hidden issues in parenting teens: enmeshment —when parents feel responsible for their child’s emotions, decisions, and outcomes. If you’ve ever thoug...

Dealing with passive aggressive comments are some of the hardest statements to respond to. Using the "translation" process it helps us protect our boundaries from these hurtful comments without creating a fight.  Get your own copy of  - You Can Turn Conflict into Closeness  

What is emotional connection? Why does it often decrease over time in relationships and how can we get it back ? Emotional connection or intimacy is sometimes hard to describe, but it's easy to know when it's gone. In this episode, Emil discusses the pattern of decreasing emotional investment in relationships and how to turn things around. Creating shared emotional experiences is the key...

Is happiness really a choice? What role should your partner play in your happiness? In this episode, Emil describes the roles and responsibilities we have as individuals and as partners regarding happiness. He explains why taking responsibility for your partner’s happiness can lead to an amazing marriage.  But what if your partner is never happy regardless of your efforts?  What if they don’t try...

What is the secret to a great marriage?  This is the most frequent question that I receive. The answer is simple: seeking, receiving, and responding to feedback. In this episode, I share how feedback is the key to true closeness.  I explain why the purpose of marriage is growth and becoming our best selves, not comfort and convenience. Feedback Check-In 1.      I am working on __________. 2.      ...

What are the rules about bringing things up from the past?  In relationships, partners often bring up the past during arguments in the present. Why does this happen, when is it legitimate, and how do we handle it?  In this episode, Emil answers all these questions and more.  Why do people bring up past events: 1.     They are unsure of how to communicate their feelings of disappointment in the pre...

It's vital to be critical about any marriage advice you find online. Here's how to ensure you're getting good, reliable information: 1. Source Credibility: Reputable Websites: Focus on sites run by mental health professionals, relationship therapists, or established organizations dedicated to marriage and family wellness. Look for websites with ".org," ".gov," or...

Are you tired of chasing the life you want? Do you wish there was a way to make your dreams a reality? In this episode, Emil interviews Jeff D Buehner, author of The Sultan's Seven Secrets. Jeff shares how he came across an ancient manuscript that changed his life (and inspired the story of Aladdin and the Magic Lamp ) . By using imagination to change the way we feel, we can actually affect o...

In this insightful episode, Emil welcomes his son, Hunter Harker, to discuss the crucial role relationships play in the overall well-being of seniors. Hunter draws from his inspiring talk to explore how strong social bonds directly contribute to both physical and mental health, particularly as we age. Key Points: Why Relationships Matter (Especially for Seniors):   Hunter delves into the unique ch...

In this episode, Emil is interviewed by Shiree Best on her podcast, Just Love Them . What do you do when your kids are making poor choices? Do you tighten the reigns and set additional boundaries? Emil shares his method of using connection during these challenging situations. This method can change brain chemistry in a way that allows for curiousity instead of anxiety. He explains how to use faith...

We may not be able to control the actions or feelings of others, but we can't deny our influence on them. In this episode, Emil explains how to maximize that influence. He shares the key to creating safety through listening and understanding and why it's important to be seen as a reasonable person. How to " understand the crap out of someone ": 1. Understand their perspective a...

Do you avoid discussing controversial topics with friends and family? Do conversations often get heated and uncomfortable?  In this episode, Emil shares an effective communication tool that helps to turn moments of difference into moments of connection and growth. He uses 5 phrases to facilitate a productive conversation. These phrases allow you to be assertive, share your opinion, and potentially...

What’s the difference between codependency and interdependence in relationships?  Codependency Definition: An unhealthy reliance on another person for emotional or physical needs to the point of sacrificing one's own well-being. Key characteristics: Extreme focus on the other person's problems and needs Difficulty setting boundaries Fear of abandonment or rejection Enabling destructive b...

Social media and popular psychology have skewed the way we think about self-love. It is more complex than simply relaxing or taking time for yourself. Self-love is the purest form of positive regard you have for yourself. Our relationships with ourselves are made up of both how we talk to and care for ourselves. In this episode, Emil discusses the many facets of self-love and how to obtain it. For...

Dating can be a challenging and stressful process. People often don’t know what to look for in a potential partner.  In this episode, Emil resumes the discussion on how to find a successful relationship. He shares the list provided by ChatGPT, explains what he feels is absent from the list, and gives advice on avoiding heartbreak.   Requirements for a Successful Relationship: 1.       Know yoursel...

Are you looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with? Are you wondering where to begin or how to find a good match? In this episode, Emil answers these questions and shares ChatGPT’s 15 things you need for a successful relationship.   Requirements for a Successful Relationship: 1.       Know yourself 2.       Communication skills 3.       Emotional intelligence 4.       Patience and tim...

Set realistic goals. It is important to set realistic goals for yourself when you are trying to overcome addiction. Don't try to quit all at once, as this can be overwhelming and lead to relapse. Instead, set smaller, more achievable goals for yourself, such as reducing your intake of the addictive substance or activity by a certain amount each week. Make time for activities that you enjoy. O...

Your partner is using pornography, now what?  The strength of a relationship is not determined by whether pornagraphy is present, but by how it's navigated within the relationship. Pornagraphy use can cause shame, secrecy, and dishonesty. This can lead to feelings of betrayal and cause distance between partners. Emil explains how to regain closeness through open and effective communication, ...

Why do men watch porn? Misconceptions about pornography use can be damaging to relationships. They affect how men and women view themselves and each other. This can cause unnecessary pain and distance in relationships. Emil shares 5 myths, then explains what really leads to pornography use.  5 Myths about why men view pornography: 1. Not getting enough sex  2. Not being attracted to their partner...

What do you do after an affair is revealed? How do you get the marriage back on track and rebuild trust? One of the best places to start is with a disclosure statement. To trust, there must be understanding. A disclosure statement is given by the person who betrayed, to the person they betrayed. It provides clarity and understanding about what happened and why. This is not always easy and often ta...

"I'm curious to hear your perspective." This shows that you are open to learning new things and that you value the other person's opinion. "Can you help me understand why you believe that?" This asks for clarification and shows that you are trying to see things from the other person's point of view. "What evidence do you have to support that?" This chal...

Sexual intimacy is an important part of a marital relationship for many reasons. It can: Strengthen the bond between partners. Sexual intimacy can help couples feel closer and more connected to each other. It can also be a way for couples to express their love and affection for each other. Increase feelings of happiness and well-being. Sexual intimacy can release endorphins, which have mood-boosti...