The Dildorks

Not everyone gets horny in the same way or at the same pace! This week we’re discussing the difference between responsive desire and spontaneous desire, and how to be respectful of your partner’s desire style even if it differs from yours.   Come As You Are | Responsive vs. Spontaneous | Consent | Sexually Relevant Data | Gender Differences | Different Desire Styles | Revving Up Responsives | Resp...

Navigating conflict is one of the trickiest parts of being in a relationship, so this week we’re discussing our best tools and techniques for having hard conversations with loved ones.   Noticing the Need | Initiating a Conversation | Now’s Not the Time | Anger | Internal Family Systems | Taking a Break | Structure | Endings | Lingering Feelings Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch...

This week we’re discussing more behaviors that might be cheating, or might not be – like keeping your ex’s nudes, neglecting to use condoms, or crushing on a friend.   Talk About It | Ex’s Stuff | Ex’s Nudes | Secret Crush | Emotional Connection | Sexting & Phone Sex | Intent vs. Impact | Threesome | Check-In After Bedtime | Safer Sex Protocols | Intoxication | Responding Credits: Music by PROTODO...

There’s a lot of confusion over what constitutes cheating on someone, so this week we’re discussing what we think cheating is, and what it definitely isn’t.   Not Monkeypox | Define “Cheating” | Masturbation | Sleeping in the Same Bed | Porn & OnlyFans | Camming & Nudes | Curdled Ink Podcast | Jerking Off Together | Flirting with Friends | Fantasizing | Custom Videos Credits: Music by PROTODOME Ar...

We’re releasing this bonus episode, originally recorded for our $12+ Patreon supporters, on our main feed this week because Billy is out sick. Enjoy our discussion about exhibitionism, hypnosis, rough body play, and more!   Hyprov | Exhibitionistic Beating | SELF+Jimmyjane | Vibrating Finger Massager | Nude Beach | Public Nudity | Rough Body Play | Gun Dildo | RealCock Credits: Music by PROTODOME...

What the hell is squirting, anyway? This week we discuss our experiences with squirting, our theories on the controversies that surround it, and our favorite toys and techniques for making it happen.   Hello, Billy! | Is It Pee? | Where Is It From? | UTIs | Is It Orgasmic? | G-Spot Orgasm | SELF+Jimmyjane Vibrating Slimline Massager | Jimmyjane | How to Squirt | Njoy Pure Wand | Fingers vs. Toys |...

We’re busting more bisexuality myths this week, like: Are bi people more likely to want to have a threesome? What’s the difference between bi and pan? And do bi femmes exist?   Threesomes | Trans Inclusivity | Self-Definition | Bisexual vs. Pansexual | Stigma & -Phobias | “Straight-Passing Privilege” | Bi Femmes | SELF + Jimmyjane Vibrating C-Ring | Jimmyjane | Assumed to Be Bi | STIs | “Picking a...

Since it’s Bisexuality Day on Friday, this week we thought we’d bust some common myths and misconceptions about bisexuality and bi people.   100% Bisexual | Does Monosexuality Exist? | Comp Het | Blurred Lines | “Straight” by Hanne Blank | Behavior vs. Orientation | Identical Attractions | “It’s a Phase” | Gatekeeping | “I Kissed a Girl” | “Just Date Women” | Wider Dating Pool | Men | Promiscuity...

Lately we’re both unenthused about doing kink with people we don’t have an emotional connection with, so this week we’re discussing the role of connectedness and intimacy in kink and sex.   Camp Struggles | Demisexuality & Demiromanticism | What is Connection? | Fast Food Kink | Affirmation | Being on the Same Page | Authenticity & Honesty | Being Honored | Honey Play Box | Seduction | Crying | Ro...

How do our kinky tendencies affect other areas of our lives? This week Kate and her spouse mb discuss how dominance, submissiveness, toppiness and bottominess can manifest in not-directly-kinky situations.   “Daddy” Song | Dominant Tendencies | Submissive Tendencies | Advice & Guidance | Dark Side | Dating Vanillas | Making Better Decisions | A Doll’s House | Historical Lack of Knowledge | “Tradwi...

This week we revisit the topic of group sex: threesomes, foursomes, and orgies. We discuss how our mindsets about group sex have changed over the pandemic, and offer some tips on initiating and negotiating.   How to Find Someone | Unicorn-Hunting | Healthy vs. Unhealthy Motivations | Predicting Success | Experienced People vs. Newbies | Vetting | Self-Reflection | Negotiation | Feeling Included |...

We’ve both tried a lot of sex toys, and this week we’re talking about some of the weirdest ones we’ve ever encountered, from the Lelo dick tuxedo to the butt plug-shaped shoes.   What is “Weird”? | Teddy Love | Lunabelle’s Teddy Love Review | Wake-Up Vibe | Lelo Tux | Lifestyles Tuxedo Condoms | Plug of War | Funkit Chess | Hole Punch Evolver | Trump Butt Plug | Ainsley-T | Tongue Cupcake Credits:...

We both love strap-on sex, and this week we’re discussing our fave harnesses and dildos and our top tips for giving good strap.   Our Strap Experiences | Strap-On vs. Handheld Dildo | Strap-On vs. Dick | Pleasure for Tops | Strapless Strap=Ons | We-Vibe | Sili Saddle | Tenga Eggs | Practicing Alone First | “Pegging” | Harnesses | Tantus Bend Over Beginner Kit | Tantus O-Rings | Beginner Strap-On R...

This week we’re celebrating our 300th episode by talking about our “top 3” choices in a bunch of different categories!   Pain Implements | Dirty Talk Lines | Fan Encounters | Fantasy Threesomes | Senses to Play With | Vibrators | Places to Do Kinky Things | Other Podcasts | Ways to Flirt | Surprising Kinks Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and...

Privacy can be a tricky subject to navigate in sexual relationships, so this week we’re answering listener questions on the fine line between privacy and secrecy when it comes to sex and dating.   Our Boundaries | Phone Access | Sharing Porn Info | Non-Monogamy Disclosure | Telling Children | Trauma Disclosure | Noisy Roommate | Hickeys Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a...

Femmes are somehow both erased and revered in the queer community. This week we’re discussing Kate’s femme identity: what it means, how she arrived at that label, and the joys and difficulties of being femme. Transmasc Fem(me)ness | Cis Woman vs. Femme | Femme vs. Feminine | Clothes & Makeup | Tattoos | Tomboy Side | Male Gaze | Straights Dressing Queer | Butch/Femme Dynamics | Butch is a Noun | G...

This week we set out to have a discussion of creativity in kink, and it turned into a meandering discussion of that, Bex’s adventures at kink camp, our traumas, roleplay, boundaries and more. Bex’s Health | Classes as Aftercare | Suffering | Edge Play | Kink & Trauma | Screening Therapists | Turning Point | Seeking Sadists | Creativity Through Constraints | Flirty Roleplay | Non-Sexual Enjoyment |...

This week Kate’s spouse Matthew Bischoff returns for a discussion of kinky apps, sex machines, electrostimulation and other fun sex tech.   Notes App | Dominance Technology | Sex Menu | Protocol Apps | Obedience | Streaks | Sex Toy Spreadsheet in Notion | OSSM | Fucking Machines | 3D-Printing Sex Toys | Heckin’ Lewd | Nanobots & Nerve Pathways | Electrostimulation | Self-Hosted Options | Buttplug....

Could sex apps, high-tech vibrators and sex robots ever replace sex with actual humans? This week Kate is joined by her spouse Matthew Bischoff , a technologist, app developer and cohost of the Absolutely Crushed podcast, for a discussion of sex tech.   Sex Apps | Online Censorship | Hypnokink | Bluetooth Sex Toys | We-Vibe | Mozilla Privacy Audit | Cellmate Chastity Cage | Best Companies | Ana Va...

This week we’re joined by our friend Brent Black (a.k.a. Brentalfloss) , who’s currently working on a sequel to his hilarious party game Use Your Words . We chat about games, being a public figure who’s out as bisexual, weird sex toys for penises, and more.   Use Your Words 2 | Diverse Writers Team | Coming Out As Bi | “Bi Enough” | Representation | Straight Lines | DMs | Nobra Twincharger | Slubb...

This week we discuss sex dreams, romantic dreams, wet dreams, and other ways that crushes and carnality show up when you’re dreaming!   Getting Mad | Sex Dream About a Friend | Dream As Excuse | Social Media Dreams | Romantic Dreams About Exes | Getting Over Dreams | Dreams About Women | Inducing a Sex Dream | Hypnosis | Wet Dreams | Angry Partner | Freud Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Add...

It’s been a while since we talked about erotic hypnosis, so this week Bex interviews Kate about how hypno is manifesting in her relationship and kink life currently.   Mystery | Dollification | Long-Distance Realism | Slipping Into It | Submission | Aptitudes | Subject Skills | Trance vs. Subspace | Waking Yourself Up | Depth & Metaphor | Altering Perceptions | Pre-Talk | Topping | In-Scene Feedba...

People have a lot of feelings about body hair, so this week we thought we’d discuss pubes, armpit hair and leg hair: our feelings about them, our removal tips, and how we incorporate them (or don’t) into our sex lives.   Current Feelings | Sensitivity | Gender Norms | Waxing | Partners’ Preference | Armpit Hair | History of Shaving | Enjoying the Process | Tweezing | At-Home Waxing | Pubes in Mout...

This week Bex interviews Kate about her other creative outlet besides writing about sex: writing songs (including songs about sex!). We discuss the songwriting process and how it relates to kink, porn, and sex education, as well as what it’s like to write and perform vulnerable songs about one’s own sexuality.   History | Pop Performers | Songwriting Process | Changes in Process | Choosing Subject...

Bex’s partner Ashe recently celebrated 6 months on testosterone, and Bex has been on it for 5 years – so this week the two of them sat down to chat about their experiences on T.   Previous T Episode | Method of Delivery | Ritual & Service | Body Hair | Deciding to Start | Impostor Syndrome | Body Modification | Surprising Effects | Voice Changes | Stumbling Upon Progress | Bottom Growth | Arousal...