The Dildorks

Since the month is almost done, this week we’re examining the practice of No Nut November and the community around it.   Unfortunate Origins | Masturbation & Porn Addiction | Intentions | The Rules | Edging | Partners’ Reactions | New Desires | Risk Factors | Funkit Chess Set | The Big Nut | Kate’s Premature Ejaculation Song Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to s...

If your libido’s low right now, you’re not alone. This week we’re talking about periods of diminished sexual desire and what we like to do about them.   Montreal Trip | Out of Practice | Predictable? | Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski | Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire | Confidence & Competence | Novelty | Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel | Independence | Feeling Bad About It | Non-Monogamy |...

Ever heard of Locktober, the month-long chastity challenge? Kate’s spouse mb recently did it (with Kate as keyholder) and in this episode, the two of them discuss the experience and give advice for potential Locktober newbies.   What is Locktober? | Pandemic Popularity | NoFap & Porn Addiction | Committing To It | Benefits of Longer Lockups | Teasing | Begging | Deviceless Chastity | Finding a Key...

Happy Halloween! This week we’re addressing some seasonal sexy inquiries, about fear play, haunted houses, Chewbacca masks, and more.   Turned On By A Costume | Haunted Houses | Mask Safety | Fetish Dreams | Horny 4 Horror | Rickety Bridge Study | Slut-Shaming | Cringey Bloops Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Dis...

This week we’re answering listener questions on erotica and fanfiction!   Pearl Necklace Bondage | Finding Kinky & Trans Authors | Heckin’ Lewd | Nerve Endings | Re-Reading | Is Fanfic Just Better? | Influences on Desire | Consent & Safer Sex | Ella Dawson Essay | Content Notes | Moaning & Dirty Talk Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get a...

This week we’re discussing our current relationships to erotica and fanfiction, since Kate just had a story published in Rachel Kramer Bussel’s new erotica anthology Sexy Strangers !   Erotica vs. Real Life | Erotica vs. Porn | Non-Erotic Fanfic | (Not) Getting Paid | Fix-It Fics | Finding Stories | Picking Kinks for Characters | Hypno Stories | Dirty Talk & Sexting | Flirting | Psychological Turn...

We’re back to talk about polyamory boundary violations some more this week.   Cuckolding | Whose Responsibility Is It? | Downstairs DJ’s No Nut November Coin | Kink Rituals | Resentment | Partner Pursues Your Crushes | Fantasizing Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name men...

It can be tough to recover when someone violates a relationship agreement in polyamory, but there are ways to prevent this from happening, or to repair after it does. This week we’re talking about boundary oversteps in non-monogamy.   Can Polyamorous People Cheat? | Implicit/Assumed Boundaries | Disclosure vs. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell | Kitchen Table Poly vs. Birthday Party Poly | Scheduling | When t...

This week we’re discussing some unique fetishes that have been posted about on the /r/Sex subreddit recently, including belly buttons, Speedos, and freckles.   The Evolution of Fetish Discourse | Screenprinted T-Shirts | Objects & Clothing Items | Speedos | Disinterest | Belly Buttons | Body Markings Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get a...

Limiting one or more senses can have a big effect on how you experience sex and kink. This week we’re talking about sensory deprivation play!   Using Blindfolds | Nidra Deep Rest Eye Mask | Anxiety | Blocking Out Light | Fear Play & Surprises | Phone Sex | Sleep Hygiene | Visual Overstimulation | Immersiveness | Facial Expressions | Newbie Tops | Hearing | Hypno Audio Files | Affirmation Noises |...

There’s a lot of debate right now about sex scenes in movies and TV, so this week we’re discussing whether sex scenes are necessary, what makes a great one (or a terrible one), and which ones are our favorites.   Content Warnings | Are They “Necessary”? | Sex vs. Violence | Fifty Shades of Grey | Real vs. Moral | Our Favorites | Porn vs. Movies/TV | Safety & Trust | Intimacy Coordinators | Consent...

Being an online creator can feel quite exhibitionistic at times, and not always in a sexy way. This week we’re discussing the ups and downs of being very visible online.   Not Doin’ Too Good | Personas | Social Media Woes | Infinite Possibilities | Online Boundaries | Prioritizing the Personal | Urgency | Morality & Art | Creative Burnout & Sustainability Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Add...

This week we’re discussing “sex moves” that have been propagated by the internet, like the shocker, the rusty trombone, and the knee trick.   Are “Moves” Helpful? | Licking the Alphabet | “Come Hither” Motion | Shocker | Shallowing | The Cone | Knee Trick | Kivin Method | Reacharound | Rusty Trombone | Doorframe Lean Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support t...

This week we’re parsing the differences between limits, boundaries, and dealbreakers – and explaining some of our own rules in each category.   Definitions | Boundaries vs. Rules | Hard vs. Soft Limits | Dealbreakers | Changes | Relevant vs. Irrelevant Limits | “Bad” Boundaries | Coercion | “Genital Preferences” | Questioning Boundaries | Communicating Limits | Telling Them Credits: Music by PROTO...

We’re discussing safewords again this week, including how to know when to safeword, how to safeword if you tend to go non-verbal during scenes, and how doms and tops can safeword too.   Going Nonverbal | People-Pleasing | When Safewording is the Point | Mollena’s Story | Are Safewords Enough? | Post-Scene Conversations | Should I Safeword? | Doms & Tops Safewording Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artw...

Safewords are an important tool for many kinksters, so this week we’re discussing what safewords are, when they’re useful, and some tips on how to use them well.   Consensual Non-Consent | What is a Safeword? | Stoplight System | Custom Colors | Beige & Green | Playing Without a Safeword | Genuine Distress Method | “Misusing” Safewords | “Ruining the Fun” | What Happens Next? Credits: Music by PRO...

Sure, we’re pretty sexual people, but are we social? This week we’re discussing our current thoughts on, and strategies for, socializing while the pandemic is still ongoing.   Things We Like | Spending Time Alone | Higher Standards | Keeping Conversations Going | Our Struggles | Flirting | How to Reach Out | Real-Time vs. Asynchronous | People Who Aren’t Online Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork...

This week we’re discussing some more new-ish additions to the sex/kink lexicon, some of which we like and some of which we find baffling.   Prejac | Infinity Baby | /r/prejac | Breeding, Breedable, Breeders | Situationship | Hit, Smash | Sniper Position Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus epis...

This week, your two millennial cohosts debate and discuss the definitions of various sex/kink terms popularized by Gen Z.   Feeling Old | Gooning | Simping | Gentle Femdom | Gatekeeping “Kinky” | Pleasure Dom | Girlcock, Boypussy, Etc. | Ghost Penis & Phantom Limbs Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthl...

Billy just got back from kink camp ( Dark Odyssey Fusion ) as well as TES Fest , and this week he tells us about what it was like to do both of those kink events back-to-back.   Justin McElroy on Gender Reveal | Operations Team | Comparing the Two Events | Space vs. Crowds | Bad Weather | Goals | Emotions | “I’m Working!” | Scenes | Lego Paddle | Communication Skills Credits: Music by PROTODOME Ar...

In light of Elon Musk recently declaring “cis” to be a slur on Twitter (it’s not), this week Kate is interviewed by her spouse mb about what it means to be cis and how her gender presentation has shifted over time.   Cis Isn’t a Slur | Queer Femme Cis Woman | Getting Misgendered | My New Gender Workbook | Boyish Presentation | Cis-Het Male Gaze | Black Leather Chucks | Gender Census | Queer as a G...

This week Kate chats with pro financial dominatrix and kinky comedian Lane Kwederis about findom and her one-woman show, Sex Job !   Findom Beginnings | Improv & Theatre | Educating Clients | What Findom Involves | Financial Limitations | What’s Hot About It? | “Mesmerize” | Balancing Professional Identities | Fantasy vs. Reality | Shadow Side | Personal Growth | “Did I Do That For Money?” Credits...

Crying can be hot, challenging, painful, cathartic, pleasurable, or all of the above. This week we’re talking about our current relationship to crying, in and out of scenes.   Crying Daily | Surprise | Making Yourself Cry | A Good Feeling | Fetishizing It | Seeing Others Cry | Gender & Hormones | Childhood Experiences | Looking in the Mirror | Emotions for Emotions’ Sake | Aftercare | Crying on th...

Continuing our discussion of brats, “bad” subs, and “good” subs, this week we talk about how rebellion, humor, and colorful language can be worked into D/s scenes, among other things.   “Is That an Order?” | Responses to “Make Me” | Bratty Doms | Humor & Laughter | Fun with Language | Finding Non-Bratty Subs | Punishment Concerns | Disrespectful Honorifics Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Ad...

Some submissives like to be “good,” some like to be “bad,” some like to be “bratty,” and some prefer a combination or like to mix things up. This week we discuss the motivations and manifestations of these various orientations to submission.   Good vs. Bad vs. Bratty | Psychological Motivations | Emotional Masochism & Humiliation | Childhood Experiences | What Do We Prefer? | “Disrespectful” Brats...