The Dildorks

Happy holidays to those celebrating! We’re discussing objectification kink again this week, through a seasonal lens.   Holiday Stress | Giving People as Gifts | Sex Coupons & Cards | Re-Focusing | Manhandling | Bored & Ignored | Sexualizing vs. Objectifying | Previous Holiday Episodes ( 1 , 2 , 3 ) Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get acc...

What does it mean to be ‘objectified’ in a kink scene, and how is that different from the other, less-hot ways one can be objectified? This week we’re discussing the nuances of this complex kink.   Nonconsensual Objectification | Marginalization & Trust | Just a Hole | Empathy | What’s Hot About It? | Quiet Mind | Authentic Desire | The New Topping Book | Favorite Object | Praise | Environment & V...

This week we dive deeper into kinky-on-vanilla relationships, discussing how to tell if someone might be vanilla, how to explore kink outside of a newly-opened relationship, and whether fantasy and porn can be good substitutes for IRL kink.   Language & CBT | How to Spot Vanillas | Kinky Flirting | In Love With a Vanilla Person | Opening the Relationship | Polyamorous Kinksters | Fantasy & Porn |...

Can a kinkster be truly satisfied dating a vanilla person, and vice-versa? This week we discuss bridging the gap between kinky and vanilla partners!   Dating Apps | Time & Place | Kinky Linguistic Cues | Defining “Vanilla” | Sexual Hobbyism | Our Experiences with Vanilla People | Willing vs. Want | Explaining Why | Rejecting Vanillas | Don’t Settle | Beginner-Friendly Resources | 101 Kinky Things...

Can it be romantic to get spanked, stepped on, and bossed around? Absolutely! This week, Billy interviews Kate about how her submissiveness is deeply entangled with her romantic desires.   Depth & Vulnerability | Are They Linked? | Intrinsic Desire & Earnest Belief | Submissive Romantic Desire | You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For | Being Seen | Masochism | Kinksters’ Communication | Self-Assu...

This week we’ve got a whole new batch of interesting fetishes from Reddit to discuss, from trees to heavy metal music to illusionists.   Making Them Work For It | Dendrophilia (Tree Sex) | Ecosexuality | Salon Capes | Sawed in Half | Organs | Elmer’s Glue | Paramedics | Heavy Metal | Moshing | Pool Table Cunnilingus | 101 Kinky Things Audiobook Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch...

What is self-confidence and why does it matter? This week, we’re unpacking what it means to feel confident, why it’s hot, and how to cultivate it.   Fake It Til You Make It | Contextual Confidence | Being Bad At Things | Perception vs. Feeling | Self-Deprecation | Self-Knowledge | Boundaries | What It Feels Like | Certainty | Competence | You Are Someone’s Favorite Flavor | Values | Why It's Hot |...

This week we continue our discussion of heterosexual culture, discussing straight wedding traditions, gender reveal parties, the kinkification of straight gender roles, and more.   Clear Communication | Power Imbalance | Come Together | Different Playbooks | Wedding Traditions | Happily Ever After | Gender Reveal Parties | Celebration | Kinkifying Straight Roles | Formative Fears | Unnegotiated Ki...

To celebrate Halloween, this week we’re discussing some of the scarier aspects of heterosexual culture!   Dating Straight People | Not Gay | The Tragedy of Heterosexuality | Does Straightness Exist? | Cultural Differences | Default Script | Anti-Pleasure Pressures | How to Do Nothing | Mono-Normativity | Media Models | Combativeness | “Hall Passes” | Opposite-Sex Friendships | Love, Inc. | Gendere...

Regularly-scheduled “check-in” conversations are one way to keep a relationship strong – so this week, we discuss our favorite ways of checking in, and how we manage anxiety that may come up around it.   As-Needed vs. Regularly Scheduled | Solutions vs. Breakups | “Ruining the Vibe” | Us vs. the Problem ( The Monster Under the Bed ) | Managing Anxiety & Avoidance | Check-In Card Deck | Positive Re...

This week, Kate and mb interview the brilliant Tuck Woodstock , host of the Gender Reveal podcast and co-editor of the hilarious new anthology Sex Change and the City ! We couldn’t help but wonder: Does Sex and the City ‘hold up’ for modern viewers, especially queer and trans ones?   Which Character Are You? | Which Character Is Trans? | Why SatC ? | 2 Trans 2 Furious | Watching SatC Now | Queer &...

How has our relationship to service kink changed as we’ve gotten older, done more therapy, and moved in with our partners? This week we discuss our currently thoughts and feelings on service.   Identity? | Feeling Useful & Impressive | Work & Resentment | Tradwives vs. Kinksters | Living Together | Cocktail Genders | Majordomo Duties | Praise & Acknowledgment | Dream Scenes Credits: Music by PROTO...

People believe all kinds of nonsense about anal play, so this week we’re busting myths about butt stuff. Makes You Gay | Homophobe Ick | (Un)Natural? | Masculinity | “ Sides ” | Pain & Numbing | Sphincters | Permanent Damage | Pregnancy | Loophole | Good Feminist | Tops Should Bottom | Always Up For It | Shit Happens Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support t...

Are some sexual labels more cringe than others? Do our public labels differ from our private ones? And what’s up with people who don’t think we should use labels at all? This week, we’re continuing to dive deep on sex & gender identity labels.   Tired & Old | “I Don’t Like Labels” | “Cringe” Identities | Gynosexual | Bicurious | Sapiosexual | Public vs. Private Identities | Letting Go of Labels |...

When it comes to sex and gender, labels can be helpful and affirming, but they can also be limiting and divisive. This week, we discuss our own labels, and what we think they achieve for us.   The Purpose(s) of Labels | Identity Affirmation | Internal vs. External Benefits | Bisexual | Queer | Pansexual | Sexuality vs. Gender | Queer Femme | Trans F*g | Reclaiming Slurs | Outsider | Coming Out Man...

Asexuality is a highly misunderstood identity, so this week we’re discussing what it means to be ace – and why Kate is newly identifying that way! What is Asexuality? | Access to Information | Neurodivergence | Why Use the Label? | (Not) Being Into Bodies | Coming Out to Allo People | Aromanticism | Hard Feelings | Are Ace People Queer? | Choice vs. “Born This Way” | Ace by Angela Chen Credits: Mu...

This week, we give more advice on play parties, including how to become a DM, how to approach a stranger for play, and how to take care of yourself emotionally during an event.   Flirting & Professionalism | Becoming a DM | When to Get a DM | Rookie Mistakes | Taking Notes | How to Approach People | Mood Management | Approaching Tops | Handling Overwhelm Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addi...

Party time! This week, we discuss etiquette and preparation for attending a play party, whether it’s sex-focused, kink-focused, or both.   Sex as a Hobby | Beginners | Verbal vs. Non-Verbal Communication | Spontaneity | Vulnerability | Compartmentalization | Expectations vs. Reality | Preparing | Setting Intentions | Spectating | What to Wear | Sex vs. Kink | Archetypes Credits: Music by PROTODOME...

We always love learning about interesting fetishes, and this week we’ve got a bunch of juicy ones to discuss, from bomb-shaped women to pig-shaped men.   Explodey Babes | Bi Confusion | Pig Transformation | Sperm Bank Muff Dive | Tongue Fetish | Ties & Ties | Theme Nights | Quitting Smoking Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get access to o...

Watching movies and TV shows with a partner can be surprisingly bonding and eye-opening! This week we discuss the ways our relationships have benefited from enjoying media with partners.   Talking During Movies | Inside Jokes | Disconnection vs. Intimacy | Conversation-Starters | Complexity & Nuance | Choosing Movies | The Birdcage | Content Notes vs. No Spoilers | Art vs. Escapism | The Room | Sa...

This week we dig deeper into the subject of sexual selfishness, answering questions like: Can it be selfish to give pleasure? How can you satisfy a stone person? And is there really a top shortage?   Casual vs. Long-Term | Getting Tired & ‘Hard Mode’ | Owning Your Desires | Communication & Compliments | Willing vs. Into | Stone Reciprocity | Xan West on Stone Identity | Allow vs. Tolerate/Endure |...

What does it mean to be selfish in bed, and is it always necessarily a bad thing? This week we discuss our relationships to “selfishness” and receiving pleasure.   Bottoming vs. Being Selfish | Negative Connotations | Straights vs. Queers | Wide Range of Pleasures | “You Do Me, Then I Do You” | Switching | /r/RandomActsOfMuffDive | Bottoming Skills | Guilt & Shame | Pleasure Doms | Gendered Tropes...

Talking about sex is hard, which is why so many sex educators try to “meet people where they’re at,” a concept we unpack this week to help you have better conversations about sex.   Zero Tolerance vs. Harm Reduction | Don’t Be Elitist! | Avoiding Shame Triggers | Self-Disclosure | Jokey Approach | Questions & Assumptions | Assessing Knowledge Level | Self-Criticism Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artw...

This week, we celebrated International Kissing Day by answering listener questions about kissing!   “We Should Make Out” | Hormone Changes | Kissing Men | Consent-Asks | Feeling Overwhelmed | Toys & Practice | Sexual Stimulation Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name menti...

This week, while Kate’s moving from Toronto to New York, Billy chats with his partner Dee Darkholme about THEIR recent move, and what it’s been like adjusting to living together with Dee’s other partner.   Living with 2 Partners | Opposite vs. Similar | Communication & Criticism | Sex Issues | Having People Over | Decoration Decisions | Complementary Strengths | Alone Time | Nice Things Credits: M...