The Dildorks

Kate got engaged recently (!!) so this week is a frank discussion of marriage proposals, engagement, and the various unconventional ways one can do these things!   Big News! | Necessary Conversations | Why? | It’s a Trap! | Who Proposes? | Ritual | Surprise vs. Not | Love, Inc. | Emotional Preparation | The Ring | Financial Domination | Subverting It | Polyamory | Commitment Ceremonies | Collar |...

Your sexual sensitivity can affect your enjoyment, self-esteem and more – so this week we’re discussing some of our best tricks for managing sensitivity-related issues!   Ideas During Sex | “Shoulds” | Compared to Average | Sensitivity vs. Orgasm | Pumps | Weed | Libido-Boosting Products | Antidepressants | #OrgasmQuest | Monster Under the Bed | Testosterone | Dialing It Back | Indirect Stimulatio...

What does it mean to be in a 24/7 D/s dynamic, why is it hot, and why is it comforting? This week we're discussing round-the-clock power exchange!   Always Kinky | Horny All the Time?! | Intimacy & Interdependence | Organizing Principle | Self-Improvement | Moral Responsibility | Protocol | Conditioning | Risk Assessment | Off-Limits Areas | Blue Balls 4 Biden | Getting What You Want | Importance...

This week we’re addressing some of your questions about boundaries, especially as they pertain to sex, friendships, and non-monogamy!   Inappropriate Client | Episode Name | Nervous Partner | “Good-Natured Ribbing” | Anger | Intimacy Before Sex | Gone Horribly Wrong | Seeking Approval | Threesome Aftercare Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and...

Setting boundaries is hard, but important! This week we’re discussing the tricky business of drawing a line in the sand, with romantic partners and in general.   Yelling | COVID-Era Boundaries | Boundaries vs. Rules | Why They’re Useful | Ultimatums | Complications | Checking Back In | What Makes It Easier? | Sooner is Better | Bad Reactions | Being Nice | Bullshit Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artw...

How do you figure out whether a potential kink partner is safe enough and a good enough match with you before you do anything with them? This week we’re discussing the fine art of vetting!   Casual Slapping | What Is Vetting? | Thresholds | Slut Referral Network | Consent Cues | “One of My People” | Social Capital | Direct vs. Indirect | Safewording | Storytelling | Pre-Emptive Domming | Framing D...

This week we’re talking with polyamory-experienced psychotherapist Jessica Fern about her excellent new book, Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, & Consensual Nonmonogamy .   Filtering the Monogamy Out | Origin Story | Structure as Security | Take Responsibility For Your Feelings | Clementine Morrigan’s Trauma-Informed Polyamory | Self-Regulation & Auto-Regulation | Parts Work | Common Problems | Taki...

Crying is good for the soul, but did you know it can also be good for the libido? This week we’re discussing the kinky appeal of crying: cathartic sadomasochism, dacryphilia, emotional sex, and more!   Other Catharses | Health Benefits | Masculinity & Vulnerability | That’s a Thing?! | Sadism & Emotional Topping | Emo Aesthetic | Ruining Something Beautiful | Sensual Pleasure | Feeling Cute | Good...

This week Kate is joined by her partner Matt (they/them) to talk about their recent forays into chastity play!   Orgasm Control | Past Chastity Experiences | Cageless Experiments | CB 6000 & Other Devices | Boners | Coping Strategies | Sleeping | Handling the Horniness | Chastity Journal | D/s Dynamic | Keyholding 101 | Long-Distance | Devices vs. None | Emotional Effects | Duration Goals | Helpin...

We’re returning to the topics of subspace and topspace this week to answer some great questions from listeners about these phenomena!   Switch Drag | Star Trek | New Partner | How to Tell | Dissociation | Explaining to a Partner | Straight/Cis People | Serving While Spacey | Keeping Yourself Out | Assault Survivor | Safewording | Reassuring a Dom | Taking Care of a Sub | Crying Afterward Credits:...

Subspace and topspace are two highly sought-after types of experience in the kink world – but what are they, and how do you access them? This week we’re discussing kinky headspaces!   How Important Is It? | What Is It Like? | Topspace vs. Domspace | Surrender & Mastery | Spacey Interactions | Snapping Out of It | Aftercare | Continual Topspace | Hypnotic Triggers | Comedy Pacing | When It Hits You...

This week we’re discussing the intersections of sexuality and social media with Katrin Tildenberg, Ph. D. , and Emily van der Nagel, Ph. D. , two researchers and lecturers who just released a fascinating new book called Sex & Social Media !   Sex & Social Media: the Book | Long-Distance Collaborations | Tumblr Ethnography | Tumblr Porn Ban | GoneWild Subreddit | What is Sex? | Future of Sex Online...

This week we’re talking to Aryn , an astrologer, podcaster , and sex and relationship coach. They fill us in the answers to our crucial sexual astrology questions, such as: Which planets govern your kink identities? Are all Pisceans bottoms? Is Capricorn the daddy dom sign?   Queer Shorthand | Alternate Spirituality | Love & Sex Signs | Switches | Aries | Body Parts | Virgo | Capricorn as Daddy |...

It’s our 200th episode! Join us as we discuss some other milestones in our lives – specifically our sex lives.   200!!! | Old Episodes | Sex Shop | Remote-Controlled Vibrators | Power Exchange | Fifty Shades of Kegel Balls | Wanting to Fuck Someone | Porn with Mom | Tasting Cum | First-Date Sex | “Pinch the Skin As Hard As You Can” | Sending Nudes | Strap-On Blowjobs | Oral Sex Party | Little Spac...

Conditions like ADHD can affect your whole life, including your sexuality and relationships, in really interesting ways! This week Kate interviews Bex about how his ADHD manifests and how he manages the difficulties that come with it.   Recognizing it | Definition | Doesn’t Everyone Have That? | Diagnosis | Make It Sparkly | Dating Another ADHDer | Sex & Kink | Impulsivity & Surprise | Gender & Te...

Chronic pain can make your sex life tricky, but it doesn't have to ruin it! This week Bex interviews Kate about her mysterious chronic pain disorder, how it manifests in her sex/kink, and what makes it easier to handle.   Pain History | BJ Interference | “Depression-Related Pain” | Disability Impostor Syndrome | Type of Pain | Impact on Sex Life | Intoxication | Hypnosis | Lucked Out | Caregiving...

This week we’re answering your conversational queries! We explain how to deduce someone’s openness to chatting, ask questions people actually want to answer, navigate discussions when you’re low on spoons, and more.   Intoxication | Want to Talk? | Yes, And | No Response Required | How Are You? | 50 Non-Pandemic-Related Questions to Ask | Social Skills | Stressful Questions | The Same Conversation...

What does it mean to be good at conversation? We’re not claiming to be experts, but we have our preferences… This week, we’re discussing conversational skills: why they matter, how to develop them, and what to avoid.   ADHD & Neurodivergence | Why? | Pick-Up Artists | Monosyllabic Conversationalists | Follow-Up Questions | Displaying Knowledge | Answering Your Own Questions | Reading Emotions | No...

Why do we sometimes call kink “play”? How does it relate to the games we played as children? This episode is a meandering philosophical discussion of the role of play in our lives – including our sex lives!   Collarbone Play | Ass Play | Re-Watching | Recess | Play vs. Consuming Media | Critical Thinking | Childhood Sexuality | Capitalism | Repetition | Learning | Empathy | Non-Playful Play | Play...

It’s a weird time to be celebrating Pride, to say the least… This week we’re talking about some ways you can access a little Pride magic even in these stressful times.   Rocky Horror | Unorthodox “Churches” | #CelebratePrideQuietly | Going to Protests | Critical Resistance | You’re Wrong About Stonewall | Making Gay History | Two Headed Girl | The Offline Dating Method | Disclosure | How to Surviv...

Hope y’all are doing okay in this very stressful time. This week we’re discussing how high stress levels affect sex and dating, from dissociation to guilt to trauma triggers.   Time Management | Escapism vs. Information | Baths | De-Stressing Sex Toys | Solo Quickie | Illness Flare-Ups | Communicating While Triggered | Trauma-Informed Polyamory Workshop | When to Manage Stress? | Dissociation | Li...

This week, we’re joined by self-made porn queen Gwen Adora to discuss how her online sex work business has changed in light of the pandemic – and how the online porn landscape is shifting more generally in these trying times.   Sex Worker Label | Roleplay Videos | Slinky Porn | Work Week | Productivity | Customer Trends | Be Nice to Sex Workers | Pandemic Porn | Crews & Creativity | Caroline Callo...

This week we talked with sex educator, columnist, and stripper Andre Shakti about how she’s transitioned her sex work career onto the internet in the wake of COVID-19. Hopefully you’ll find this useful if you’re thinking about doing the same. Also: Black Lives Matter, ACAB, stay safe out there if you can, friends.   Pandemic Nudes | Pre-Pandemic Work Week | Government Assistance | Upkeep | Sanctua...

Hope you’ve had a lovely Masturbation Month, despite the circumstances! This week we’re answering more listener questions about jerkin’ it.   No Pants | “How to Masturbate” Video | Technique Lists | Vibrator Tips | Sex Training | Dysphoria | Quitting Masturbation | Roommate Troubles | Tedium | Comfortable Penetration | Guilt & Sadness Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a p...

This week we had a great chat with authors and polyamory educators Kevin Patterson and Dr. Liz Powell about their 6-week online course, Unfuck Your Polyamory . We also got their advice on some of the polyamory pitfalls people are experiencing these days due to the coronavirus lockdown. Unfuck Your Polyamory | Couples’ Privilege | Media Representation | LDRs & Love Languages | Stress Levels | Commu...