The Cult I Left Behind

Amanda sings a cult song from her childhood. Kyle is confused. They break down the meaning of each of the Ten Unchangeables, and IBLP word salad makes a reappearance. Amanda tells Kyle more about attending The Children's Institute for some important childhood brainwashing and why Amanda was so prepared for the military. Also: it turns out some of Bill Gothard's unchangeables can be chang...

Blanket training, 3x training, the abusive tactics of Michael and Debi Pearl... Amanda and Kyle take an insider look at the types of discipline encouraged and endorsed by the IBLP cult. From hiding beating implements in neighborhood culverts to memorizing routes to safety, Amanda describes a childhood at the mercy of an abusive mother and her own road to recovery as an adult.  Support the show

Join Amanda and Kyle as they answer more listener questions and discuss issues like taking their potential future kids to church, if religions are cults for real tho, if you can accidentally become a cult leader, why Amanda’s relatives never intervened when they learned about the sexual assault, and if forming a cult to address daylight saving time is a worthy cause. Amanda shares some exciting pe...

Amanda tells Kyle what a typical day looked like for her in the IBLP cult, complete with baking bread, caring for her younger siblings, and hiding from the police. She also talks about special circumstances, such as weekly cult gatherings and preparing to spend time around non-cult relatives and their secular influence.  Support the show

Welcome to another analysis of crazy IBLP cult teachings! This week, we tackle Bill Gothard's Basic and Advanced Seminar materials regarding music, what is holy, what is unholy, what will definitely deform your brain cells, and what will cause your vegetables  to grow larger. Spoiler alert: most of the world is probably going to hell due to unholy taste in music.  Support the show

In January, we had the opportunity to sit down with special guest Maureen Maus and talk about Multi-Level Marketing – specifically the ways their tactics overlap with cults. We also discuss how MLMs tend to target women, and often women in religious environments who must work from home. Maureen teaches us how MLMs seem to adopt spiritual language, which appeals to individuals in cults, and Amanda...

Amanda unpacks the phrase "eyes down" and its implications within her bio family and explains code word "Nike" from the Shiny Happy People docuseries. Join us for a trip down memory lane as Amanda describes battles against billboards and bikinis, tells Kyle about learning the word "sex" from a childhood friend, and shares the family rules for watching movies.  Support...

In a special episode for the week of Valentine's Day, Amanda and Kyle discuss Wisdom Booklet 15's teachings on the importance of modesty, how to avoid eye traps that might make a man lust after you and commit adultery with you in his heart, and the medical implications of immodesty and eye traps. Amanda also shares her bio mom's insight regarding the inherent evil of lingerie--even...

Kyle continues teaching Amanda about the Seven Basic Needs -- but this time we're looking at the wife. Shockingly (haha), her needs are a lot simpler and less taxing than the needs of a husband. The needs of a wife are not backed up by biblical text, but they sure are Duggar-approved!  Support the show

In a shocking turn of events, Kyle teaches Amanda IBLP's seven basic needs of a husband. Amanda is traumatized. Hilarity ensues. Support the show

Kyle finally gets his wish as he and Amanda discuss the infamous Cabbage Patch Kid dolls and the IBLP teachings surrounding them. Amanda shares the requirements Bill Gothard made of all cult families who owned these dolls, as well as a few other popular toys. Get your burn barrels ready and prepare to cast out some demons, folks! Support the show

Amanda tells Kyle what caused her to become a workaholic (spoiler alert: IBLP teachings).  She walks through the ideology that is burned into her brain about work ethic and what it takes to be a “good” person. Bill Gothard’s twisted interpretation of the Bible makes another appearance, and Kyle shares the strange phenomenon that occurs for Amanda medically when she works too much.  Support the sho...

Amanda tells Kyle all about Bill Gothard's, uh, unique approach to mental health, counseling, and especially counseling abuse survivors. We learn all about reins (send help), how everything is our own fault (especially abuse), and how to get more serotonin (according to IBLP and not medically verified). This episodes takes about as many turns as Bill's twisted approach to mental health....

Who's ready for 2024?! Amanda and Kyle start off the New Year with stories of young Amanda's panicked search for a Rhema (a special word from God) for each new year and, like, every other day of the year. Amanda tells Kyle about a typical New Years in her home growing up in the IBLP cult. Kyle shocks Amanda with his own stories from young adulthood, and we all go on a Myspace search. Joi...

Amanda and Kyle talk about Christmas traditions and ideology influenced by the IBLP cult. From Santa’s role as an agent of Satan to distract from Christ to annual research projects due on Christmas Eve, Amanda walks Kyle through a typical Christmas growing up in the cult. Kyle provides the normal Christmas perspective, and Amanda and Kyle think through what they would keep and what they would defi...

Join Amanda and Kyle along with special guest Tim Whitaker from The New Evangelicals as they explore the distinction between cults and religions. In response to a listener question, the trio discusses the differences and similarities between the two, including whether Jesus could be considered a cult leader. The conversation covers their personal experiences with Christianity, the American church,...

In a deeply personal conversation, Amanda and Kyle discuss the ideology surrounding divorce in the IBLP cult. Amanda shares about her divorce, which finalized five years ago the day this episode was released, and explains the way cult teaching keeps people - particularly women - trapped in harmful marriages. Kyle shares his perspective from outside the cult, and together they talk through the spir...

Amanda and Kyle answer listener questions. As Kyle puts it, everyone and their mom wants to know if Amanda still believes in God. Listen to the episode to find out! And feel free to submit more questions; we’ll keep answering them.  Support the show

In the final installment of their Shiny Happy People review, Amanda and Kyle have an emotional conversation about episode four of the docuseries. They discuss the correlations between Josh Dugger and Amanda’s brother, as well as the parental responses of Jim Bob and Michelle and Amanda’s bio parents. Kyle and Amanda react to Anna Duggar’s choices in the aftermath of Josh’s investigation and trial...

Amanda and Kyle review episode three of Shiny Happy People. They discuss Bill Gothard’s teachings on authority within the IBLP cult and the creepy dynamic the cult created between fathers and their virgin daughters. Amanda and Kyle discuss the ways Jim Bob Duggar tricked and coerced his children into appearing on the 19 Kids and Counting and Jill and Jessa Counting On TV shows without compensation...

Amanda and Kyle recap episode two of Shiny Happy People. They discuss Josh Duggar's sexual assault of his sisters and the Ashley Madison scandal in which Josh was implicated. Kyle asks Amanda to explain the IBLP cult concept of eye traps, and they discuss the complexities of being a female in the cult. This episode is a wild ride of burning various items in to avoid satanic influence, spiritu...

Here's your weather forecast for Halloween 2023. Enjoy! Support the show

Amanda and Kyle talk through the first episode of Shiny Happy People, a documentary about the Duggar family and their TLC show 19 Kids and Counting. The Duggars are part of the IBLP cult, and Amanda and Kyle discuss the many ways Amanda's story overlaps with the Duggar story, Josh's sexual assault scandal, and what life was like growing up under Bill Gothard's influence.  Support th...

Amanda tells Kyle about breaking away from IBLP ideology and reaching the point of being able to report her brother. She talks about the people who helped her disengage from Bill Gothard's teachings and develop an appropriate understanding of justice and accountability. Amanda details the four-year process of criminal court, how her family reacted, and how the case concluded.  This episode in...

Amanda's world opens up even more as she begins to step away from her family and IBLP cult ideology and towards healing. Amanda and Kyle talk about the circumstances that occurred to get Amanda to finally begin speaking up about what happened to her, her parents' reaction to her speaking up, and the people who supported her through her first tentative steps toward health and safety. Addi...