The ClearOut

In the fourth part of his series on masculinity, Dara tries to point out the hierarchical nature of masculinity when the idea of manhood is being discussed. The legacy of Western European colonial domination has resulted in the idealisation of white, straight, middle class masculinity. In other words, for many people when they're asked to consider men and masculinity, they will default to the afor...

In this lachrymose episode and further exploration of masculinity, Dara is talking about the benefits of crying. He confesses to being a crier anyway, easily shedding tears over any number of things, but goes on to share an extremely recent loss that knocked him sideways with the tears it provoked. He argues that there is a ranking system that qualifies the when and how much of crying. For Dara th...

Continuing his exploration of masculinity and maleness, Dara turns his gaze to movies and how men's stories, especially but not exclusively, straight men's stories have played out on screen. He looks at three totems of masculinity as the main discussion points - potency, violence, and morality. Dara kicks off with the controversial Straw Dogs, Sam Peckinpah's 1971 examination of neutered masculini...

Dara knew when he started recording this one that one episode was never going to cut it. So it is only the beginning of a conversation about being a man and trying to unpack what constitutes a man. Before getting into more specific experiences and perspectives, Dara tries to sketch the current landscape, so heavily influenced by the tech age and social media, in which many men feel they have been...

In this episode, Dara has an update on the fox situation at Hashtag Blessed and admits he views the surviving chickens differently since last week’s attack. Is it just him, or do they seem to be grieving? After thinking he was almost out of fuel during an excursion to the mountains, Dara reflects on the benefits of slowing down and lays out a couple of mindfulness exercises to encourage the illusi...

In this episode, Dara is reflecting on the overnight passing of two of the animal members of the Hashtag Blessed family. It reminds him of a key moment from the iconic TV show The Sopranos which centred on the idea of a changing world that couldn't be controlled. The idea of chaos and disorder prompting a desire for control feels like a very present concern. A local death in the community spurs Da...

Dara begins this episode by sharing his go-to recipe for making cheesecake, raspberry cheesecake, specifically. Don't ask why - it just felt like the right thing to do. Perhaps he was trying to flaunt his 'new man' credentials in advance of discussing male attitudes to high-profile, successful women in the not-so-distant past. Before he gets to that, Dara revisits Peter Weir's 1985 romantic thrill...

In this episode, Dara is doing what he thinks he should have done last week; namely, reflect on the throughline of one hundred and fifty episodes of the podcast. His mission statement from the original blog iteration of The ClearOut in 2013 remains just as relevant over 10 years later - Decluttering. Clarifying. Connecting. Those three imperatives continue to assert themselves on the weekly attemp...

In this 150th episode, Dara decides not to lean into what makes the show what it is, but rather opts for the easy entertainment of the career of Tom Cruise. A recent rewatch of Top Gun Maverick prompted the question - what is it about Tom Cruise that audiences continue to buy? What is it about that smile, and that ever-young body? Dara looks at the Cruise filmography and identifies 1983 as his bre...

In this episode, Dara once again finds himself considering his mental health battles. Emerging from a very recent depression, he examines the difference in his thinking when he is embattled versus when he is well. Why would he choose to believe one reality and not the other? Why, in spite of very persuasive negative thoughts, does his 'better' self prevail? And why does he compare these differing...

In this episode, Dara wants to know what vulnerability looks like. He talks about his own sense of feeling vulnerable at this time in his life and tries to contextualise that feeling in terms of age, time spent, and time left. He also reflects on fear, threat identification, and the conviction that one can be 'got'. Having started watching the provocative 2019 series Euphoria, Dara recognises that...

In this episode, Dara is looking at life stories. Prompted by a project of his own that he is working on, he acknowledges the difficulties he finds himself facing before discussing several different lives that he has just consumed in artistic form. Before he gets into that, he spares a happy thought for the Oscar success of Cillian Murphy, rewarded for his turn as Robert Oppenheimer in Christopher...

In this episode, Dara is scratching his head over the idea of brotherhood. One of four sons, he feels he has a reasonably reliable perspective on his own experience of brotherhood, one he admits was not, nor continues to be, straightforward. In the online space at least, 'bro culture' seems to be thriving, and certainly in the world of podcasting there is a prolific number of shows hosted by male...

In this episode, Dara is rolling over some recent themes. He is convinced that cultivated internal calmness is a key part of responding healthily to the chaos of the world. When he talks about the importance of a 'proportional response' to whatever afflicts us, he acknowledges the connection of that idea to the philosophy of traditional martial arts practice. The implication of control is central...

In this episode Dara tries to understand the connection between the advancement of AI-generated images and his desire for the simplicity and austerity of certain places and practices. There is something about the ornate and ostentatious perfection of AI images that reminds him of the roots of the Protestant movement as a response to the grotesque greed and riches of the Catholic Church. Thinking o...

In this episode, Dara reflects on a few days spent at a writers' retreat and his attempts to slip into a writing flow. Among other things, he talks about identifying his preferred voice, the subject matter he finds himself drawn to, and trusting that his own process would reveal to him what he should be trying to write. He describes as luxurious the gifts of headspace and optimal conditions for cr...

This episode does exactly what it says on the tin. Dara settles in to discuss a film he just watched, a concert he just attended, and a theatre production he recently saw. The film was Paul Thomas Anderson's underappreciated 2002 dark comedy, Punch-Drunk Love, which was notable at the time for giving Adam Sandler a leading dramatic role. Upon rewatching, Dara realised how much like a musical it wa...

In this episode, Dara responds to a music podcast he found surprisingly moving by exploring the idea of connection. Why do certain things or people connect with us more powerfully than others? What is it that speaks to us about a particular individual, or their work? And what is it about music and musicians and movies and actors that can so enrapture us? Dara argues that it is all about relationsh...

WARNING : The content of this episode may be confronting and/or triggering as it contains detailed references to suicidal ideation. The subject is treated respectfully and carefully, but unambiguously. In this very personal and occasionally difficult episode, Dara decides he can't not examine his near four-decade-old impulse to destroy himself. A follow-on from last week's episode in which he spok...

In this episode, Dara tries to remind himself of the existential power of understanding life as an unending path that leads to endless unknown destinations. In relation to a recent rough mental health episode, he is also happy to be reminded that the path of life will continue past the present moment, no matter how challenging it might be. Dara discusses destinations, end points, and arrivals in t...

Dara has just turned 50, and in this episode he lets his mind hover over the moment in an attempted stocktake. Even as he argues for gratitude, he acknowledges how challenging the world is right now. This leads him to consider whether enough weight is attached to softer impulses and emotions. In these times of fracture and isolation and estrangement, should we attach greater significance and worth...

Dara reviews his year in watching on screens big and small over the last twelve months. Some of the obvious big 2023 releases are covered, including Oppenheimer, Barbie, Killers of the Flower Moon and Anatomy of a Fall, but also mentioned are older movies that were watched during the year at home - Anthony Minghella's The Talented Mr. Ripley, for example, or Paul Schrader's Hardcore. Dara also loo...

Following the previous episode's last-minute production, Dara does another late night recording, this time in the wind and rain, with at least two interruptions from a sleeping dog. He's determined to maintain his line, and that means he refuses to put out another delayed episode. This week it's all about Maestro, Bradley Cooper's biopic of the American conductor and composer, Leonard Bernstein. D...

In this hard-fought-for episode, Dara soldiers on alone to deliver this year's Christmas special. Coming in at the eleventh hour, Dara presents a brand new story that he completed only a day before recording. An old woman lies stricken on the floor of her hallway. Who will come to her aid, and will she welcome their assistance? A meeting of minds old and young that reveals an unexpected commonalit...

In this episode, Dara jumps in feet first to Christmas tales of yore. Reading from a compendium of Yuletide tales, he selects two contrasting entries that brought some balance to proceedings. The first is A Christmas Inspiration, a sweet and somewhat sentimental tale by L.M. Montgomery (Anne of Green Gables) of a group of young women coming to the aid of a lonely cohabitant of their boarding house...