The Cartoncast

The Super Mario Bros. Movie, and Nintendo in general, does not need defenders or simps. You are allowed to like or dislike this movie on its own merits, no more and no less than The Godfather. But in the context of the previous Mario Bros film, other video game adaptations in general, and Illumination Studio’s works, this movie is a miracle. The Mario pillars of simplicity, spectacle, and polish a...

Ben and Zane were having a hard time coming up with proper retribution against their old foe, the Moon (long story), and asked Josh for help. After an extensive summary of recent Japanese Game Show events, he quoted from the Book of Dan: “You don’t need to have a reason to hate, nor a plan, nor a goal. Just let it out into the world, and justice will provide.” So they gathered up some rocks and to...

In the fallout of One Punch Man’s miraculous rise and then slow fall, Mob Psycho was somewhat overlooked by the anime community for a time. Which is a shame, because by all accounts it surpasses One’s more famous work. Ben and James gush unceasingly about this bowl-cut havin’ miracle child and his master, the greatest psychic of the modern era. * Buff guys help nerdy guy meme, specifically the who...

Ben and Zane didn’t have a clue why they were recruited to handle this oil spill, but they knew who to bring in: Ian. He came on board and told them that what they really needed was a guy by the name of Captain Planet. They brought in Gaia to give them a couple power rings, then got the last ones by some unsavory methods, but eventually they were able to summon Captain Planet. He took one look at...

The following is a choice segment from an interview between Bit Cloud, pilot of the Liger Zero from Blitz Team, and the Cartoncasters. “Look man, life’s not so easy in the post-apocalypse. Which post apocalypse? Not important. At least, not any more important than bustin’ up some fools with my mad sick liger zero moves. I’ve never met a mech I didn’t want to fight, and I never didn’t fight a mech...

It’s Zane and Nic talking about Sam and Max. How on-task were you expecting it to be? Like the show, it’s mostly a bunch of bullshit (as well as one actual shit).

Inside Out is a touching, funny, beautiful movie. It has all the Pixar hallmarks, an all-star cast, and an engaging premise. But more than that, it puts the feelings of growing up into words, and gives its viewers the vocabulary to process the world as their emotions become increasingly nuanced and jumbled. An instant classic that we all wish we had when we were young. In all these ways and more,...

Welcome to our 200th episode, eggberts! We could go on a whole spiel about why we chose this for such an auspicious anniversary, or do some sort of speech celebrating our run so far, but in the end we just wanted to gush about Freakazoid, so that’s what we did. For those who know this show, no additional context is necessary. For those who haven’t - you’re in for a real mint. Thanks for Josh for h...

The Cartoncasters are not immune to getting lost at the terminal, and wouldn’t you know it, on their way to Albuquerque they managed to reroute to Australia, where one Taz was waiting for them. Though they were initially nervous, Ben and Zane found him to be pleasant enough company, if a bit derivative. They also met 80-odd other characters, but as the saying goes, what happens in Tasmania… isn’t...

Space Jam is one of those properties that you’ve seen, even if you haven’t seen it. And if you have seen it, see it again now that you’re older. Because it's legendary status is part truth, part myth, and part confusing. This oft-cited box office bombshell has its share of faults that your kid brain might have passed over - as well as a few ‘blink and you miss it’ gags that had us rolling. Thanks...

That’s right, babe, the Cartoncast has taken a trip back, back to the Future that is Aku. Jacky baby is back, with just a few too many of his old baggage weighing him down. Ben and Zane tried to keep him from turning back time (and from robbing the grave), but sometimes you just have to let someone keep going on their path. Rip Aku, long live Scaramouche, babe.

Welcome to Neo Yokio, the only place in the world where you can watch the All-City Gentleman’s Field Hockey game while sipping a Caprese Martini. The Cartoncasters were living the high life, blinged up in all the finery that Neo-Podcast Neo-Money can buy, when the game was interrupted by a literal devil breaking through the ground and eviscerating a player. Ichiban Kaz Kaan fought it off, but made...

Ben and Zane were walking through yet another spooky forest when a little bird - Josh - told them about a modern American Fairy Tale. Over the Garden Wall is cozy yet unsettling, precise yet meandering, and heartwarming yet grim. Listen to a lovely soundtrack as we discuss a whole lot of nonsense, and just slightly less heart.

Every so often you run into something that just can’t be explained. So when strange spooky noises showed up on their recordings, Ben and Zane decided to contact the experts. Resident horror expert Dan Caves agreed to take a look at the files. Long story short, the files weren’t haunted, but there was a clip detailing the evils of governmental overreach. None of them knew how it got there - it just...

Ben and Zane grew tired of these new-fangled modern cartoons, and longed for an era of simplicity. But they also didn’t want to change the channel from Cartoon Network. Hark, like a throwing stick, Boomerang appeared, and brought with it five mesmerizing spectacles: A pervert rodent; a father-dog barely holding it together; A horse with a gun and a tuning problem; a double-racist janitor; and some...

Hyrule was at peace, and the Cartoncasters were bored out of their Skulltulas. Legends told of a hero who would come and rescue them from their boredom, with the power of Courage the fight back the darkness. What they got instead was Link, a petty shitlord who just wanted to hit on the princess and maraud around the town. Ben and Zane enlisted James as an old wise man who knew of Link’s weaknesses...

Ben and Zane have had it up to here with Jerry. He’s constantly kidnapping them, using brainwashing or amnesia rays, and putting them in catsuits. And now he’s tried to introduce three young women to the Cartoncasters as if that makes up for it. He licked his lips and sweated as he assured them that the girls were all over 18. Regardless, they were too boring to even interact with, let alone try t...

It’s always satisfying to fill in a blind spot here at the Cartoncast, and this one was a mile wide. Akira establishes the cyberpunk genre, opened the doors for anime in the west - and the anime industry in Japan - and commented upon the timely (and timeless) themes of institutional power in a time of rapid evolution. No need to be psychic to judge how we felt about this work; it’s remarkable, and...

Things were not going well in the computer that houses The Cartoncast. Ben and Zane, you see, are dumbasses. Wikipedia was down. TvTropes was down. Their dictionary had long been destroyed because “it just had bad vibes man, y’know?” And so in desperation, they called upon the last bastions of knowledge. They asked the StoryBots: “Where buy snowcones?”

Well, it’s that time again to celebrate the holiest of holidays - Cartony season. Sure, this past year was a bit of a struggle at times, with many contenders for the spot of New Ben before the original came back to claim his title. But amongst the strife came clarity on the true nature of Santa Claus (the answer may surprise you!) as well as a higher than recommended dose of dithering about with v...

Ben and Zane - and stay with me here guys - were doing a Jesus. I mean, sure, they weren’t coming back to life or healing the sick, but they did carry around that cross for that nice priest and his weird, hungry friend. They also got into some trouble with the law and were repenting for some sinning they did in the last town over. The Cartoncasters weren’t really focused on the big-picture stuff,...

Most of the titles that cross Ben and Zane’s desk never make it to review, but they felt bad about rejecting cartoons out of line. As luck would have it, the Critique himself, our friendly neighborhood Dane Caverns came by to take the worst stuff off their hands. Within an hour, the Critique had given the most scathing criticism he could muster to the worst offenders, saving Ben and Zane from doin...

Egads! A gigantic monster is destroying the city! Thankfully, Ben and Zane have a direct line to the Powerpuff Girls, after an unrelated adventure where they both became the mayor. A quick call was all it would take. However, first they had to wait and listen about Bubbles’ new self-esteem issue, and the Professor’s new gadget, and a talking dog they found that’s probably evil, and on and on and o...

The Prince of Egypt has been lauded as one of the best told animated biblical stories - and rightly so. Heavy subject matter has to be sensitively portrayed, which can be a big ask in a medium primarily geared toward children. It takes a rare movie to balance biblical accuracy with enough gentleness not to stress younger viewers, all while still managing to be entertaining. With all that and a sur...