The Cannon Canon

The Cannon Bros are back covering their favorite Cannon property American Ninja with 1989's American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt ! The movie that feels like a non-threatening but not very exciting stepmom. We'll explore the great mysteries of this movie like...Is David Bradley Molasses 2x4 squared? Is ninja magic still a thing in this? Did sarcastic adults do the ADR for the kids in this movie? Did The Co...

WARNING: HARDLY ANY ACTUAL STREET FIGHTING IN THIS MOVIE! In our latest entry into " COULD'VE Been a Cannon" history, the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are covering the 1994 Jean Claude Van Damme/Raul Julia film adaption of "Street Fighter" . Although really it's Street Fighter II...or SFII Alpha...or the billion variations. No matter what, there is a surprising lack of street fighting in this mov...

HE CAN KICKASS ROCK AND ROLL AND YOU KNOW IT! And we ain't talking about the Cannon Bros. We are of course talking about Magic (or Live Magic?) in the 1985 "music drama" Thunder Alley . And joining us is a man SO GOOD he drives us to do drugs and live on the edge. That rockstar? John Flynn ( Two Old Queens Podcast )! Take a trip to the rock capital of the world...Tucscon, Arizona? And watch the cr...

That’s a lot to expect from Las Vegas Showgirls! The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) have traversed the simplest of obstacle courses to watch the 1986 "action" "sex-comedy" HELL SQUAD ! And joining them as their demolitions expert is Jeremy Bolm ( Touché Amoré , The First Ever Podcast )! On this one, we ask the hard-hitting questions like: Would Tarantino hate us and this podcast? How much driving...

I don't know what Mars is and I was never there! The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) are back covering the 1980 (or '82?) Italian low-budget sort-of "Alien" rip-off " Contamination ". This time we're joined by the incredible James III ( Netflix's Astronomy Club , All That , Black Men Can't Jump in Hollywood podcast)! In this episode: Geoff spins around in his Italian cinema wheelhouse, spoiling yo...

It's been a year since the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) made their debut! And now, 40 Cannon movies later, they're more broken than ever, boyo! So join the Bros as they look back on the year to end all years. They reflect, relax and tear their hair out as they rank all of the 40 movies they watched from best to worst. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! Well actually two number ones because Frank an...

HEY KILLIAN!!!!! We are doing it! The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are going down the COULD'VE Been a Cannon rabbit hole with the 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger dystopian game show classic "THE RUNNING MAN" . Don't be a plain Zero and go through all the madness with The Cannon Canon. From one-liners layered upon confusing one-liners, to being blown away by Jesse "The Body" Ventura's acting, to b...

It's not exactly Hard Rock and it's not exactly Zombies but it's definitely weird. That's right, today The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) discuss the 1985 comedy horror rock flick Hard Rock Zombies ! So pull out your poorly digitized YouTube links because this is a deep cut that is fun as hell. Is the plot confusing? You betcha. Is the movie every genre all at once putting the kitchen sink approach...

Today on The Cannon Canon, the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) watch a problematic Charles Bronson film. Doesn't narrow it down? You're right. Anyway, it's the 1989 Action-Thriller " KINJITE: FORBIDDEN SUBJECTS" ! And joining the Cannon Bros for this episode is Jayson Green ( Jayson Green & The Jerk , Orchid, Panthers and 24 Hour Video podcast ). In this flick, Bronson sodomizes a crime suspec...

Interesting. MOST interesting! Is definitley what you will yell as you listen to the Cannon Bros(Frank and Geoff) discuss the 1987 Oliver Reed fantasy film "GOR". A movie that should have the tagline"GOR: It just happened". And you might find that watching and talking about "GOR" can be a very enlightening endeavor. It can help you learn the difference between "low budget film making" and "Cheap"....

YOU GOT A HEART LIKE A LION! Yes, you do, for listening to our latest COULD'VE Been a Cannon where we are covering the 1990 Jean-Claude Van Damme street fighting classic (that is NOT "Street Fighter") " Lionheart "! This one will make you do a split and show us a gratuitous butt shot. Do we go through how JCVD does not really prove himself to be the best street fighter in the biz? You bet. Do we t...

Just a bunch of ninjas doing ninja stuff! That's right. The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are finally covering the 1981 Cannon Ninja classic "Enter The Ninja" . And, literally, this is where it all started. Most of the ninja stuff you love in movies came from this and Cannon's complete misunderstanding of ninjas! We talk shirtless nunchuck practice! Ole blueyes himself, Franco Nero, layering one-l...

SUCK A DOORKNOB FART BRAINS! That's just some of the beautiful poetry you'll fall in love with in the 1986 Charles Bronson neo-noir Cannon classic "Murphy's Law" . The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are joined by special guest JEN SAUNDERSON ( Everything Is Scary! podcast ) to parse through this modern-day Shakespeare. And trust us, this is classic Bronson. Convoluted and problematic old man jokes?...

IT'S ALMOST TEXTURED? Oooh baby do we have a wild ride of a movie today. The 1980 Klaus Kinski kind of a slasher, kind of a giallo, kind of an Agatha Christie whodunnit, kind of a good movie and kind of not classic "Schizoid" ! And talking about it with the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) is the fantastic writer, actor and director, Josh Ruben ( Scare Me )!  Listen as we try to wade through t...

What ELSE " COULD'VE Been a Cannon "? Today The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are pulling back and throwing out a little minisode. While they are releasing their first month-early COULD'VE Been a Cannon episode on their Patreon, the boys go through some of the possible movies they are thinking of covering in other COULD'VE Been a Cannons. Take a trip down the list while taking a detour into tangen...

YEP SHE IS STILL NAKED! That's right, today we are talking about the 1985 sci-fi/horror/space boobs classic from the master of the erotic himself Tobe Hooper, "Lifeforce". The Cannon Canon bros are joined by special guest Jason Gore(The Best Show w/Tom Scharpling and 108.9 The Hawk) to answer all the important questions raised by this film. Like "What exactly is the plan of these space vampir...

HERCULES, HERCULES, HERCULES! Yep we are finally doing it. The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are watching the 1983 Lou Ferrigno sci-fi/fantasy/what the hell is going on classic " HERCULES ". If you wanted to see the greatest collection of sexy people on screen at once? You got it!  If you wanted to see Lou Ferrigno fight a bear and throw it into space? You got it! If you wanted to wade throug...

BRADDOCK!!! The name so nice, it's said a million times!  It's a new year and the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are starting it strong by closing out the Missing in Action trilogy with 1988's " Braddock: Missing In Action III ". That's right, good ole' Molasses 2x4 is back for one more round of confusing politics and now with an extra dash of confusing timelines. From the head-scratching choi...

Happy New Year...s Evil! The Cannon Bros, Frank and Geoff, look back at a year of Cannon goodness (while the world went to hell) and they share their thoughts on where they hope to take the Cannon Canon in 2021. Frank and Geoff also revisit some of their favorite movies, music, actors and moments from the films they watched the past year and they even get a special visit from Charles Bronson himse...

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM MOLASSES 2X4! On this very special Christmas episode, the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are watching the 1985 Chuck Norris "holiday" classic INVASION U.S.A.  Or as we all call it...the prequel to AVENGING FORCE.  Put on your Jay Leno denim special because we are giving you the gift of confusing politics. A movie that has so much Christmas shoved in between blowing up...

LET OF SOME STEAM...with our latest "COULD'VE Been A Cannon" . The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are going deep on one of their favorites: the 1985 ultimate action film, Arnold Schwarzenegger in "Commando" . And like an Austrian god emerging from the mountains holding an entire tree, it's a great one. From nonstop one liners to wondering if Bennett is REALLY Freddie Mercury on steroids or just a l...

"HIS KNIFE HAS TO BE HIS PENIS!" Who would say something like that? Charles Bronson, that's who, baby! Today the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are going to go through every intense thing ole "Lil' Smile" himself says in the 1983 Cannon classic "10 to Midnight" . There is a lot to unpack in this old man, confusing politics, serial killer murdering film. You will want to pull out your Bronson impres...

GET YOUR PHANTOM TINGLES READY! We are watching 1988's total fever dream of a movie "Doin' Time On Planet Earth" . Join The Cannon Canon bros as they half-remember watching it as a child and marvel at the total lost comedic genius of Adam West. As well as ask all the right questions about this almost unavailable lost "possible punk classic" of a movie. Questions like "Did Darren Star bury this mov...

IT'S A ROMP AND A HALF! Or actually...it's half a romp and half a mess. Today The Cannon Canon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are hunting down 1985's "King Solomon's Mines". And they go through it all on this epic journey. From the bloodless brutality, to the giant Universal Stunt show spectacular set pieces to the worst blue screen plane chase you have ever seen. Oh and did we mention Richard Chamberlain...

IT'S A LOVE FEST, BABY! The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are back to gush about our favorite couple in 1987's " American Ninja 2: The Confrontation ". If you stan Michael Dudikoff and Steve James, then you're in the right bar/brothel brawl, my friend. This one has it all! Beach Ninjas that excel in teamwork,  Ninjas that wait in kitchens, Ninjas that attack in alleys, Ninjas that hang on tru...