The Cannon Canon

We wrap up ARGENTOBER and this edition of our HARD PIVOT with 1975's DEEP RED ! Yes, technically we covered this first since we recorded and released it on our Patreon a month ago BUT it's no more confusing than some of the "plots" in Argento's films! No matter what, Deep Red aka Profondo Rosso aka The Hatchet Murders has it ALL for Argento fans. Amazing Goblin soundtrack? Check! Some sort of...

We're almost through ARGENTOBER (and this edition of HARD PIVOT ) and today we're discussing the 1971 Giallo (and possibly dark comedy?) FOUR FLIES ON GREY VELVET ! A movie whose rights are so complex you can only watch it on Plex . Not to mention it goes in and out of English dub to Italian in the last 10 minutes. Whatever, still watchable! We discuss the shoehorned title into the reveal of the m...

We're halfway through ARGENTOBER ! And today we're talkin' about Argento's wildly impressive debut film, The Bird with the Crystal Plumage . We HIGHLY recommend you watch this movie before listening (we hope you do this with every movie we cover). The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) veer into "film theory", the protagonist's wild lack of awareness of JUST how good his life is and even Dudley Moore m...

"ROSE! I CAN'T HEAR YOU. ARE YOU THERE?" ARGENTOBER continues as we talk about the 1980 Suspiria follow-up INFERNO ! Joining us is our own favorite little witch, DAVID BLUVBAND (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, The Chris Gethard Show). Will Bluvband and the Cannon bros start a " 3 Brothers Talking About the 3 Mothers " spin-off podcast?! Don't hold your breath (unless you can hold your breath as lo...

The Cannon Canon presents our first HARD PIVOT ! For the month of October, we'll be covering the films of Dario Argento. We're calling it, ARGENTOBER ! And kicking off "Argentober" is the 1977 horror classic SUSPIRIA .  That's right, we are starting with the gold standard of Argento. We swear it is not a gush fest (but it's not that far off). From the mindblowing soundtrack of Goblin, to the...

HEY, YOU'RE HURT! LADY I'M F-ING DEAD! Yep, you got that right. Today, The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are doing a COULD'VE Been A Cannon on the 1988 Treat Williams/Joe Piscopo horror/comedy/cop movie vehicle " DEAD HEAT " (from Cannon kissin' cousin New World Pictures). Also known as "Young Geoff's most rented movie". Find out with the Cannon Bros how this movie psychologically scarred us both...

CHECK THEM NECKS AND TALK TO YOUR KRANG BRAIN! Because today we are back in Toby Territory, talking about Toby "Cream Jeans" Hooper's 1986 remake " Invaders From Mars ". Joining us is special guest Lucas Hazlett (TBS' Wrecked , Lifetime's American Princess )! This movie is a cavalcade of amazing actors, amazing behind the scenes, and amazing how it just...isn't...that amazing? HEAR US OUT! We...

MEET US HALFWAY...and think about joining our Patreon ! Yep, the Cannon Bros are on a little bit of a Cannon respite but we haven't stopped the Cannon train rolling. Today we are giving you a taste of a Patreon exclusive episode we have up now. We did commentary for all of Sylvester Stallone's " Over The Top ". It's a fun one for a great movie, so take a sample of us breaking down what a bad dad L...

I LIKE THE PAIN...AGAIN! Well, let's try something a little different. Thought about joining The Cannon Canon Patreon but haven't yet? Perhaps now is the time. On today's episode, we are giving you a little taste, a little sampler, a little bit of a full commentary episode we recorded for the 1989 JCVD Cannon Classic " CYBORG ". The full episode is only on the Patreon feed. So, try it on, see how...

"Too much linguini!" Yep, you should know by that iconic joke that this week we are covering (in a Patreon member picked COULD'VE Been a Cannon ) the 1989 Tri-Star classic " BLIND FURY ". It stars Rutger Hauer as a comedic blind swordsman in the vein of Zatoichi. If Zatoichi was in Reno, Nevada and was up against one of the most ineffectual big bads ever and was accompanied by an unbelievably...

Took us long enough but the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are finally covering the 1989 JCVD essential KICKBOXER ! The movie The Cannon Canon has NO qualms about saying is definitely better than Rain Man . Join us as we break down why training montages are SO damn satisfying, Cronenberg strip joints, still remembering the ice despite knowing your brother is about to get destroyed, JCVD "dancing" m...

"YEAH! IT'S GOOD!" Things get uncharacteristically serious for the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) because we're covering 1988's Platoon Leader ! The Vietnam action drama directed by Molasses 2x4's bother, Aaron Norris and starring Cannon darling Michael Dudikoff. A movie we could only watch for free with ads or on YouTube via some account titled War TV . And according to the YouTube comments, thi...

OH GOD! OH MAN OH GOD! OH MAN! OH...baby. Have we got a wild one today. The Cannon Bros (Geoff and Frank) are tackling the 1987 Norman Mailer "Comedy" Crime Drama, Tough Guys Don't Dance. Joining us is the author of The Cannon Film Guide Vol 1, 1980-1984 and the upcoming The Cannon Film Guide Vol 2, 1985-1988 , Austin Trunick ! That's right a POWERHOUSE of Cannon films knowledge. But will we be ab...

HE'S A SUPER SNOOPER! REALLY SUPER TROOPER! OH BOY! If you know what those lyrics are, then you know what you're in for. And if not? Prepare yourself for the 1980 Sergio Corbucci Italian Comedy, Poliziotteschi, in its own wonderful category..." SUPERFUZZ "! (or Super Snooper or Poliziotto superpiù). Whatever you call it- it's amazing. It isn't Cannon but it definitely COULD'VE Been a Cannon ! And...

MMMMM THAT MANTRA FELT GOOD! And you will feel good listening to the Cannon Bros talk about 1990's "Rockula" with special guest Matt Rubano (Taking Back Sunday, Angels and Airwaves). The movie you can watch and script yourself all at the same time. Tony Basil has some bathtime fun with Tony Cox (Yes, that Tony Basil). Thomas Dolby's fake commercials give the movie a much-needed comedic bump (...

SLEEP TIGHT SUCKER! Because the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are back and they are watching the 1986 Cannon Classic The Delta Force. Oh baby, it's Chuck Norris, Lee Marvin and a cavalcade of stars from disaster movie past to do Cannon's own version of a disaster movie. What happens when you combine a very politically complicated "Based on a true story" terrorist situation with Chuck Norris on a m...

"I'M NO MORE MR. VIGILANTE!" Yeah right Bronson because the proof is in the pudding and the pudding is 1985's Death Wish 3! Bronson is back as well as our first return guest, Noah Segan(Knives Out and our episode on Death Wish II) ! And we are going through all the beauty that is Kersey's return to NY and murder. It's nothing but buttermilk, potrosts and Home Alone style traps killing creeps for s...

"HIS SAVAGERY HAS BEEN CANCELLED!" And maybe this movie should have been as well. Because if you look to the stars you can see the constellations for the most disappointing sequels and shining bright amongst those constellations is 1985's The Adventures of Hercules ! And the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are dealing with this boner killer of a sequel BIG TIME. The Cannon Bros end up feeling almost...

WE ARE GONNA TAKE YOU TO THE BLOOD BANK! Because on today's COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON episode, the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are talking about the 1988 Steven Seagal debut "ABOVE THE LAW" aka "Nico" . Half of his family are cops, half are in the mob and Seagal is 100% your dad's wet dream in this movie. We go through it all. From Seagal's maybe realistic but mostly odd fighting style; to his odd...

PLEASE DON'T INTERRUPT US WHILE WE SOLILOQUIZE! Because we got some classic horror actors in the house and a lot of things to say about them. The Cannon Bros take on 1984's elderly horror icon supergroup nod to Hammer Horror films House of the Long Shadows ! And joining us from Left Handed Radio is Adam Bozarth and Anna Rubanova . And we all have matching Vincent Price impressions, don't you...

LET US SEE YOU STRIPPED DOWN TO THE BONE! It's Bret Easton Ellis meets Avenging Force? The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) break down the 1986 “teen” action, crime, thriller Dangerously Close ! Directed by a Pre- Cyborg Albert Pyun!  This movie is a true Cannon Canon 50/50. You will get whiplash every scene thinking "wow what a beautiful shot...that leads into a confusing plot". Almost as confu...

The Cannon Bros are taking a quick vacay. Summer is in the air and we can't stay inside just watching Cannon films. Instead we are watching them somewhere else besides our houses. But instead of taking a week off, The Cannon Bros are answering listeners questions submitted from the Patreon. And go on a few tangents pretty much immediately. And set themesleves up for a BIG project. You don't want t...

MARJOE IS BACK! This month's " COULD'VE Been a Cannon" starts off with a bang...because we have a special guest! That's right the first COULD'VE with someone besides the Cannon Bros. Special guest Connor Ratliff ( Dead Eyes podcast , The George Lucas Talk Show , Search Party, Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) is here to break down the 1978 Luigi Cozzi Star Wars rip off "STARCRASH" . A pastiche of space actio...

The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) are all goofed up from our 2nd vax and boy does it help because we're talking about 1986's Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold ! Richard Chamberlin's charm does some heavy lifting, James Earl Jones earns a paid vacation, Cassandra Peterson’s talents WASTED, a High Priest with Will Ferrell-like delivery, "Ghoulie" Worms and...*sigh*...the film ruining raci...

It's Porkys meets Death Wish? One thing's for sure, this one comes with a big trigger warning ! The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) are covering 1983's Young Warriors aka The Graduates of Malibu High . And joining them is the incredible Marcy Jarreau (Brooklyn 99, 90 Day Bae , A Funny Feeling ).  In this episode we'll cover Frat Boy Vigilantism, another gratuitous and unnecessary assault scen...