The Cannon Canon

We like the pain AND the misery! And we can't believe it took us this long to get to a Jean Claude Van-Damme movie. So this week The Cannon Bros are tackling JCVD's 1989 film " Cyborg " with special guest Andy Beckerman ( Beginnings Podcast , Couples Therapy podcast ) . From the corpses of Masters of the Universe 2 and Spider-Man, Cyborg rose like a phoenix from the ashes to give the world constan...

Get ready for a softer side of Chuck Norris...kind of...not really. The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are diving deep into the 1988 Norris vehicle "Hero And The Terror" . From the Molasses 2x4 in a sweater cracking "jokes", to watching the great Steve James get sidelined to a thankless role (while doing a confusing character voice) to Norris being the worst partner and father to be. The Cannon Bro...

ONE MORE DAY TILL HALLOWEEN! SILVER SHAMROCK! We are breaking format for our first "COULD'VE Been a Cannon" episode and the Cannon Canon bros (Frank and Geoff) are covering one of our favorite movies of all time: HALLOWEEN III: Season of the Witch ! If there ever was a movie that COULD have been a Cannon film, this would be it. SO much to love here. From a drunk womanizing protagonist, to a diabol...

EVERYTHING CAN'T BE CREEPY!!! Or can it? The Cannon Bros(Frank and Geoff) explore that question in 1984's "Hospital Massacre" or "X-Ray" or a billion other titles. In one of Cannon's early jumps into the slasher genre, the bros will also answer: Are these nurses in Human League? What is the deal with those Shakespearean witches? What exactly is Dirty Synthy? And is it a hamburger or a Sloppy Joe?...

GETTIN' A LIL' GINTY! This week the Cannon Bros(Frank and Geoff) dive deep into 1984's EXTERMINATOR 2! We talk about all the burning action and figure out what Cannon films would be like in a Twitter world. From the quickest flame throwers in the world, to cocaine as an acting choice to the the craziest sight lines you will EVER see. The Cannon bros are gonna take you on a tour of the seediest par...

"Daddy?!" This week the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) go underground (to the center of the earth!) to watch the 1988  Kathy Ireland vehicle, ALIEN FROM L.A. ! Joining us on this journey is voice-actor, comedian and musician Sandra Saad ( Marvel's Avengers video game , Eye of the Sun )! We talk about Kathy Ireland's borderline offensive mean girl approach to sounding like a "nerd", Deep Roy'...

Today the Cannon Canon bros are split up! Its like Michael Dudikoff or Steve James left to their lonesome, as Geoff takes on a quick minisode on his own. As we take a brief respite from regular episodes to refuel our Cannon jets, Geoff will give you a little thanks for all your listening. A little preview of some upcoming episodes. A couple big ideas we have for the future. Even a call out for som...

It's our first Global Pictures movie! Even though the trailer has the Cannon logo. This week the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) take on 1993 or 1995's technically released in theaters but sort of direct to video "erotic" "horror" film, Night Terrors! Directed by Tobe "TCM 2" Hooper. And joining us is the very funny Halle Kiefer ( Ruined podcast) ! Robert Englund plays the depraved Marquis De Sade...

The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) take a trip to "moments of disappointment from your childhood" with this week's big-budget Cannon film, 1987's " Masters of the Universe "! And who better to join us than the NEW ORKO himself, GRIFFIN NEWMAN ( Blank Check pod , The Tick , Masters of the Universe: Revelation ). We discuss John Williams Rip Off Scores! He-Man's not even the star! Langella Love! Pe...

The Cannon Bros take a little detour to interview Austin Trunick about his new book The Cannon Film Guide Volume 1: 1980-1984 ! We talk about some Kim's Video love, the best rejection letter EVER, how Firewalker was a sample script, Dustin Hoffman takes Cannon to court, Tobe Hooper’s Pinocchio?! and so much more!  It's a must-have book for any Cannon-head. Check it out! ( Heads up : Had some...

It was bound to happen sooner or later and unfortunately, it happened sooner. One single Cannon film has broken the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) and that movie is Roman Polanski's trash fire of a film, " PIRATES" . Enduring the pain of this movie with us this week is Dave Schilling ( Full Court Chat ) ! We all eat the rat on this one. Good luck!  Follow us on the socials! Twitter: @thecann...

HOT DOG!!! On this episode, the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) get Stockholm Syndrome watching 1986's FIREWALKER starring Chuck "Molasses 2x4" Norris, Lou "Iron Eagle" Gossett Jr and Melody "Flash! AH, AH!" Anderson. So much to cover in this adventure, action-comedy! Shockingly short production turnaround times! Misleading Fonts! "Dead People Sleeping"! Stomped on Comedic Timing! Paul Rodriguez P...

GAWAINNNNN!!! On this episode of The Cannon Canon, special guest Jon Gabrus ( High & Mighty , Action Boyz ) joins the Cannon Bros to discuss a Cannon take on an Arthurian legend...kind of...maybe??? Whatever it is, it's certainly, "Sword of the Valiant: The Legend of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight" . From sex witches turn ceramic frogs, to floppy horned unicorns to Sean Connery's green chest...

Dog will hunt! Today on The Cannon Canon, Michael Berdan ( Uniform ) joins the Cannon Canon Bros (Frank & Geoff) to debate the good, the bad, and the repetitive of 1986's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2! Lefty rejects redemption, bodies from the first film used like furniture and muppets, Bill Moseley turns Geoff's stomach, Frank gets homesick for Texas, the impracticality of chainsaws as weapon...

DUDIKOFF BABY!!!! "Avenging Force" might be the most Cannon-y Cannon films in the history of Cannon Films and the Cannon Canon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are sticking it where the sun don't shine (audibly speaking and into your earholes, of course)! Is it a sequel to "Invasion U.S.A"? Is it almost too prescient of our current times? Are Frank and Geoff jealous of Michael Dudikoff and Steve James' frie...

Runaway Train never going back. But the Cannon Canon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are back ... to talk about the THREE-TIME OSCAR NOMINATED Cannon Film "Runaway Train" with our special guest Mike Pace ( Mike Pace and the Child Actors , The Oxford Collapse , Worst Gig Ever ). We revel in all of the insane acting choices in this Cannon Film that many consider to be, "the good one" . From your mama's farth...

EEEEVVVVIIILLLLL! Use your Mom's red stockings as a mask and take some giant pills, because The Cannon Canon bros (aka Frank and Geoff) are back and breaking down the "Punk"/"New Wave" "holiday" horror film New Year's Evil !  Weirdo sons overcoming nepotism! Accurate representations of the LAPD! Death by weed bag!  Colorady! Morose Liquor Store transactions! Punks shuffle loud! Judas Pri...

No better time to watch people sweating and holding hands while screaming in each other faces!  That's right, we're guzzlin' Valvoline and talkin' about the Brut stench of Sylvester Stallone's "Over The Top" with special guest Andrew Ti ( Yo, Is This Racist? ; Mixed-ish ). From what a bad dad Stallone's character is, to the jerkiness of the Razzies, to why we should all listen to Loggia and d...

DUDIKOFF BABY! The Cannon Canon bros get into our first American Ninja and our first Michael Dudikoff film. That's right. He's American...and a ninja?! We go through it all! Dudikoff's James Dean stares, not so stealthy motorcycle escapes, Jackson's practicality and badassery, ALF's neighbor is HIGHLY flammable and lazer ninja hands?! Listen to this episode and you will finally exclaim "HE IS A NI...

BRONSON IS BACK! Sigh. And he is fighting Mormons? And he ISN'T a detective? And he has multiple bulky leather jackets? Well, the Cannon Bros aka Frank and Geoff are here to guide you through this ridiculous mess one Bronson impression at a time. And by the end you will agree that Bronson is the Dave Barry of Cannon Films.  You'll definitely have an 80's Taco Bell craving after this one.&nbsp...

BRADDOCK IS BACK...for the second time...in the first movie? It's confusing. Frank and Geoff are here to guide you through all the molasses action! From the Norris rule of 27's to a surprising amount of bartering to a theory about MIA and all action movies that might BLOW YOUR MIND. Just don't let Braddock distract you or you're a dead man!  Follow us on the socials: Twitter: @thecannoncanon...

Michael Hartney (School of Rock the Musical, Montreal Just For Laughs Festival)  joins us to talk about SUPERMAN IV: The Quest For Peace ! It's the Comic Book You Get At a Dentist Office of Comic Book Movies! The genius of Christopher Reeve still shines in a turd of a movie! The origin of Pearl Jam's "Jeremy"! The "Cannon Stink"! Another one of Geoff's sexual awakenings! Superman's potentiall...

HEY! HEY! HEY! BIM IS THE WAY! Recorded in Dec 2019, Lauren Adams (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Modern Family, Drunk History) joined The Cannon Canon to talk about the perplexing cocaine meets LSD trip that is THE APPLE ! 6 Drafts in 3 weeks! Geoff's earliest film cameo! McPlayPlace Cars! Mispredicting 90's eyebrows. LONG songs about Speed! Stylish translucent suitcases and MORE! Join us as we pile...

Geoff and Frank put the Cannon Canon on pause this week and encourage listeners to open their ears and hearts to other voices. Tune in next week for "The Apple" with guest Lauren Adams. Until then, be safe. 

Grab the ratbag! It's a special pandemic episode of The Cannon Canon. Frank and Geoff record from the safety and comfort of their separate homes to discuss the Chuck Norris Regan-hard on action flick MISSING IN ACTION 2 ! The movie that "honors"  Vietnam POWs. The consistent acting style of Chuck Norris! Burning bridges...literally! Mouth Rat commitment! Brooklyn has a chicken BFF! Pantsed in...