The BPD Bunch

What if the way BPD is diagnosed doesn’t actually capture what you’re experiencing? In our Season 7 finale, Xannie, Katja, and Justin reflect on what they learned about the Alternative Model of Personality Disorders (AMPD) and how it compares to the traditional DSM-5 criteria. In this episode: * BPD diagnostic criteria: DSM-5 vs. AMPD * Why identity struggles may be central to BPD * Feeling empty...

Have you ever gotten so angry that you knew you were making things worse, and still couldn’t seem to stop? In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Mo, Raf, Georgette, Katja, and Justin get honest about what it took to change their relationship with BPD rage and hostility. From explosive arguments and pushing loved ones away to learning how to walk away before things escalate, the cast shares wha...

Have you ever been so angry at someone that hurting them felt completely justified? In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Mo, Raf, Georgette, Katja, and Justin get brutally honest about their experiences with BPD and hostility. From holding grudges for years to deliberately targeting someone’s insecurities, they share the behaviors they once defended and the damage those behaviors caused. They...

Understanding why you behave a certain way doesn’t always mean you know how to change it. In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie sits down with Bob Drozek, director of the Mentalization-Based Treatment (MBT) Clinic at McLean Hospital, to explore how MBT helps people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) better understand their thoughts, emotions, and relationships. They discuss what mentali...

What does it actually take to stop taking risks when they’ve become your way of coping? In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, André, Georgette, Melanie, Justin, and Dan talk about what has actually helped them manage risk-taking and impulsive behavior with BPD. From delaying purchases and putting roadblocks around spending to writing the angry email without actually sending it, they share the...

Have you ever known something could end badly and still felt like the risk barely mattered in the moment? In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, André, Georgette, Melanie, Justin, and Dan get brutally honest about how risk-taking showed up in their lives with BPD. They share experiences with drugs, sex, unsafe situations, reckless driving, impulsive spending, validation seeking, and choices tha...

Have you ever known an impulsive decision would probably end badly and still felt like you had to do it anyway? In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Mo, Céline, and Melanie talk about what actually helped them manage BPD impulsivity, from sleeping on decisions and distracting themselves long enough for an urge to pass to checking their choices against their values. They also get into the deep...

Have you ever known something was bad for you and still missed the intensity when it was gone? Freya joins Xannie and Jack to talk about a BPD recovery journey shaped by chaotic relationships, chronic emptiness, emotional avoidance, burnout, identity, and a constant need to stay distracted. She shares why “constant peril” once felt like living, why a full calendar made her feel loved, and what hap...

Have you ever felt something so intensely that doing anything to make it stop seemed like a good idea in the moment? In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Céline, Mo, and Melanie get brutally honest about what impulsivity actually looked like in their lives: impulsive tattoos, self-harm, drinking and drugs, binge spending, quitting jobs, cutting people off, and reacting to shame with anger ins...

How can you tell the difference between normal excitement about someone and a BPD “favorite person” relationship that’s starting to take over? In this mini episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Carys, Jack, and Katja share their experiences with favorite person (FP) relationships and the signs that helped them recognize when attachment was becoming unhealthy. They talk about what happens when one pers...

What do you do when “this hurt me” gets heard as “you’re a horrible person”?In this mini episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Justin, and Kaelah talk about criticism, splitting, defensiveness, and how to have difficult conversations when someone with BPD is highly sensitive to perceived rejection or shame. They get into what has actually helped in their own relationships, including balancing compassi...

How can you tell the difference between normal excitement about someone and a BPD “favorite person” relationship that’s starting to take over? In this mini episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Carys, Jack, and Katja share their experiences with favorite person (FP) relationships and the signs that helped them recognize when attachment was becoming unhealthy. They talk about what happens when one pers...

Have you ever known that isolating was making you feel worse and still felt like being around people was almost unbearable? In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Raf, Mo, Céline and Madhurima talk about what has actually helped them manage depression and depressive spirals associated with BPD, including the parts that sound simple on paper and can feel incredibly difficult when you’re in them....

Have you ever tried DBT, decided it didn’t work for you, and wondered whether you were the problem? In this episode of The BPD Bunch Brunch, Xannie and Melanie sit down with DBT experts Dr. Shireen Rizvi and Dr. Jesse Finkelstein to talk about what happens between learning a DBT skill and actually being able to use it when everything is falling apart. The conversation gets into some harder questio...

Have you ever been so used to feeling awful that you genuinely thought you were fine? In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie Raf, Mo, Céline, and Madhurima sit down to talk about depressivity in borderline personality disorder (BPD), including the experiences they didn’t always recognize as depression at the time. They talk about feeling completely numb while somehow still being in unbearable em...

Have you ever run away hoping someone would follow, panicked when plans changed, or treated someone needing space like proof they were about to leave? Xannie, André, Georgette, Carys, Katja, and Justin share what actually helped them manage fear of abandonment and separation insecurity in BPD. They talk about relationship testing, canceled plans, reassurance, friendship jealousy, losing themselves...

Have you ever been so afraid of losing someone that you monitored every change in their behavior, panicked when they spent time with someone else, or pushed them away before they could replace you? In this episode, Xannie, Georgette, Carys, Katja, André, and Justin to talk about separation insecurity and fear of abandonment in BPD. They share what it was like when another person felt necessary for...

Have you ever felt like your anxiety was preparing you for the worst, only to realize it was keeping you stuck? In Part 2 of our conversation about BPD and anxiety, Xannie, Carys, Katja, Céline, and Dan share the strategies that genuinely helped them manage anxiety over time. From panic attacks and rumination to avoidance, self-doubt, and fear of difficult conversations, they talk honestly about w...

Have you ever been more afraid of your own reaction than of the thing you were reacting to? In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Carys, Katja, Céline, and Dan talk about how anxiousness shows up in borderline personality disorder. They share what it was like to replay breakups until they became unbearable, feel physically sick around someone they had just started dating, run from conflict wit...

Have you ever felt like one small thing turned into ten different emotions before you even knew what happened? In this episode, Xannie, Solène, Madhurima and Dan continue their conversation on emotional lability and go deep into what has actually helped them regulate their emotions instead of getting swept away by them. They talk through the skills, mindsets, and reframes that took years to build,...

Have you ever felt like one unanswered text, one cancelled plan, or one disagreement meant your entire relationship was falling apart? For many people living with BPD, emotional pain doesn’t feel “bigger than it should.” It feels completely real. In this episode, Xannie, Madhurima, Dan, and Solène share what emotional lability actually felt like from the inside: the panic, the shame, the explosive...

Have you ever been told, or told yourself, that this is just who you are? That the most you can do is mask it, manage it, survive it? In this episode, Xannie sits down with clinical psychologist and treatment researcher Dr. Shannon Sauer-Zavala to explore one of the most contested questions in BPD recovery: can your personality actually change, or are you just learning to perform differently? Dr....

Have you ever completely fallen apart over something small… only to realize later it wasn’t really about that thing at all? Sometimes emotional overwhelm isn’t caused by one moment. Sometimes it’s weeks of stress, fear, shame, exhaustion, criticism, bad luck, and pressure piling up until one final thing breaks the dam. In this minisode from The BPD Bunch, a side conversation turns into an honest d...

Have you ever changed your entire personality just to keep someone from leaving? In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Katja, and Solène welcome new cast member Dan for an honest conversation about BPD, foster care, relationships, parenting, treatment, and what recovery actually looks like when life is still complicated. Dan talks about crashing after a breakup, begging and pleading, losing hi...

Have you ever felt rejected and suddenly found yourself angry before you could even explain why? In this mini-sode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Carys, Jack, and Katja respond to a viewer question about regulating anger after rejection. The conversation gets into what can happen when rejection hits an old wound: shame turns into anger, hurt turns into passive aggression, and the body reacts before the...